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I usually do not participate in the whole meme thing. Occasionally I will go in search of a good questionnaire to answer, but I do not really respond to memes. Typically memes are long, laborious, and take too much effort to copy, paste, and clean. This meme is a fairly easy one as far as the format is concerned and allows for more of a free-flowing writing experience than most of the other ones I have seen.
I will do this meme, Dustin, but not because you tagged me for it, but because I feel like it.
Top Five Nouns I want to Fight!
Well, the first 2 easy answers would be Hippos and Yetis. So lets consider them to be given, much like the “R,” “S,” “T,” “L,” “N” and “E” are given to Wheel of Fortune contestants now in the bonus round. So without further ado
Top Five Nouns I want to Fight, Excepting Hippos and Yetis
1. Packet: Not necessarily the actual physical object, but the spoken word “packet.” I HATE that word. It is just a bad combination of letters. Use the words file, package, or something even more specific like folder or envelope. The word “packet” is an abomination and should never be used in polite company.
2. Bug-Bite: I want to collectively beat the ever living snot out of bug-bites. Sweet Jesus and Mary Jane I hate bug-bites. Right now Little Man has 4 gigantic bug-bites on his right hip and leg, and I hate them for that. If I saw a bug-bite in a dark alley, I would give it what it had coming to it. I haven’t been watching Kung-Fu movies since I was a kid to sit idly by while a bug-bite sits undisturbed in a dark alley. Oh, No. If there were a bug-bite in a dark alley, even if it were minding its own business, I would jump that bustard and give it a beat down… Old School!
That, and I have a bug-bite on my ass right now, and it is not that comfortable. You might have won this round, Bug-Bite, but I will have my revenge…
3. Paradise: We all know that you don’t exist, so why don’t you let me remove you from our list of nouns. Paradise is simply a made up construct of a fictitious place that cannot exist. There is no such thing as a true paradise, so I think we should give the noun “paradise” the beating of its life to commemorate all of our dead dreams about “paradise.” Jerk, out there giving false hopes to everyone. Nobody wants you around here anymore. You don’t and can’t exist, so… “You better move your feet, If you don’t want to eat a meal they call Fist City.” 10 points to anyone who knows this reference without googling it, Wifey is excluded from this contest.
4. People: People suck. I mean it, they really really suck. The very concept of people annoys me. If I ever catch some people in a dark alley, oh, they sooo gonna get it. And not a good “it” either. I mean a bad “it.” The baddest of the bad “it”’s. Sweet mother of God and all that is Holy, if those people happen to have bug-bites, then it ain’t gonna be pretty.
5. The People who Green-Light crappy movies: Not only are they people (see above) they are also people doing their best to actively annoy the piss out of me. Fast and the Furious 2, 2 Fast, 2 Furious? What in Beelzebub’s beard made you think it was a good idea to give this movie a go? Arena? Arena? Why did you make someone waste film on this? Friday the 13th’s 2 through whatever number we are at now. Sweet Baby Jesus, what in God’s name made you think these were good ideas? Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, you bastards made kittens cry because of this movie. Cruel Intentions!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!?!?!?!!?!?!? I will so beat the ever living snot of you for those. You guys owe me, and you owe me in blood now. Money will not hack it anymore, I require a limb with which to beat you…
To Recap:
Memes, go figure
I am not tagging anyone, but if my 5 loyal readers would like to take this on, let me know in comments
Please feel free to comment on your least favorite movies
We have another open house this Sunday
Right in the middle of the World Cup Final
I am hungry
Stupid frozen lunches
Hippos and Yetis are really on the top of my list though…
I will do this meme, Dustin, but not because you tagged me for it, but because I feel like it.
Top Five Nouns I want to Fight!
Well, the first 2 easy answers would be Hippos and Yetis. So lets consider them to be given, much like the “R,” “S,” “T,” “L,” “N” and “E” are given to Wheel of Fortune contestants now in the bonus round. So without further ado
Top Five Nouns I want to Fight, Excepting Hippos and Yetis
1. Packet: Not necessarily the actual physical object, but the spoken word “packet.” I HATE that word. It is just a bad combination of letters. Use the words file, package, or something even more specific like folder or envelope. The word “packet” is an abomination and should never be used in polite company.
2. Bug-Bite: I want to collectively beat the ever living snot out of bug-bites. Sweet Jesus and Mary Jane I hate bug-bites. Right now Little Man has 4 gigantic bug-bites on his right hip and leg, and I hate them for that. If I saw a bug-bite in a dark alley, I would give it what it had coming to it. I haven’t been watching Kung-Fu movies since I was a kid to sit idly by while a bug-bite sits undisturbed in a dark alley. Oh, No. If there were a bug-bite in a dark alley, even if it were minding its own business, I would jump that bustard and give it a beat down… Old School!
That, and I have a bug-bite on my ass right now, and it is not that comfortable. You might have won this round, Bug-Bite, but I will have my revenge…
3. Paradise: We all know that you don’t exist, so why don’t you let me remove you from our list of nouns. Paradise is simply a made up construct of a fictitious place that cannot exist. There is no such thing as a true paradise, so I think we should give the noun “paradise” the beating of its life to commemorate all of our dead dreams about “paradise.” Jerk, out there giving false hopes to everyone. Nobody wants you around here anymore. You don’t and can’t exist, so… “You better move your feet, If you don’t want to eat a meal they call Fist City.” 10 points to anyone who knows this reference without googling it, Wifey is excluded from this contest.
4. People: People suck. I mean it, they really really suck. The very concept of people annoys me. If I ever catch some people in a dark alley, oh, they sooo gonna get it. And not a good “it” either. I mean a bad “it.” The baddest of the bad “it”’s. Sweet mother of God and all that is Holy, if those people happen to have bug-bites, then it ain’t gonna be pretty.
5. The People who Green-Light crappy movies: Not only are they people (see above) they are also people doing their best to actively annoy the piss out of me. Fast and the Furious 2, 2 Fast, 2 Furious? What in Beelzebub’s beard made you think it was a good idea to give this movie a go? Arena? Arena? Why did you make someone waste film on this? Friday the 13th’s 2 through whatever number we are at now. Sweet Baby Jesus, what in God’s name made you think these were good ideas? Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, you bastards made kittens cry because of this movie. Cruel Intentions!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!?!?!?!!?!?!? I will so beat the ever living snot of you for those. You guys owe me, and you owe me in blood now. Money will not hack it anymore, I require a limb with which to beat you…
To Recap:
Memes, go figure
I am not tagging anyone, but if my 5 loyal readers would like to take this on, let me know in comments
Please feel free to comment on your least favorite movies
We have another open house this Sunday
Right in the middle of the World Cup Final
I am hungry
Stupid frozen lunches
Hippos and Yetis are really on the top of my list though…
Labels: mad ramblings, meme
17 Comments:
worst movie EVER...Wyatt Earp
Last Action Hero anyone?
worst movie - bubba-ho-tep. A Bruce Campbell movie where he plays a geriatric Elvis who fights a mummy ina nursing home. Sweet Jesus-Mary, who the hell thought that that idea was even workable. Worse yet, I hear they are makign a sequel to that piece of shit.
-Nadolny
Kim:
Waaay too long and boring
Josh:
The beginning of the end for Schwarzenegger
ACW:
The humor couldn't even climb up enough to be considered juvenile. It was just poorly thought out sight gag after poorly thought out sight gag.
Nadolny:
Never saw it, but I have heard it is bad bad bad
Maybe you have to watch Kung Pow with Juveniles to appreciate it. I thought the movie kind of dragged, but my kids are always quoting the lines, (Who was that one-boobed chick, anyway?).
Sid and Nancy is my least favorite movie, and I was glad when they FINALLY died at the end.
Atmikha
There are moments that you will always remember exact details. People know where they were at when they heard that JFK was shot, or when the Challenger exploded or when you saw the planes hit the towers on 9/11.
One of those times for me was when Zany and SRH told me that one of their favorite movies was "Rocket Man'. The classic commedy starring mad genius Harland Williams. We were outside the Cheesecake Factory and i was floored. Maybe i am a movie snob but .. I lost some respect for those peeps that day.
And this same person puts down Kung Pow? For shame. For shame...
Atmikha:
Never seen Sid and Nancy, so I really cannot comment in it.
K:at least I think that is who it is...
Number 1: Steve Oedekerk is nowhere near as funny as Harland Williams. No. where. near.
Number 2: As to Kung Pow, the slapstick associated with that movie attempted to be both high brow and low brow at the same time. Other than Looney Tunes, that is not easy, and, in my opinion, that movie did not accomplish it.
So, are you saying that you endorse Kung Pow as a good movie?
i have never seen kung pow. much like i will never see rocket man. while i do like a many a comedies, i am somewhat a snob. I love me some 3 stooges but no way will i ever watch some movies. Who really thinks this new movie with the wayans brothers and a midget jewel thief posing as a baby is going to be funny? Now give me Bad Santa or Old School or Caddy Shack or Blazing Saddles or airplane or team america or ...
I have never seen Rocket Man but just remembering the ads for it, in my mind it was equal to the adds for 'Kung Pow' and the adds for glitter and the adds for Bubble Boy and gigli and.. i don't need to see a movie to know it was horrible.
I get 10 points. The song is a Loretta Lyn song from the movie Coal Miner's Daughter. I'm sure my daughter knows all the words. Go figure.
Hmmmmm...do bug-bites really have snot?
K: at least that's who I think it is
I did not pay good money to see Rocketman and do not remember much of it's ad campaign, so I cannot comment intelligibly about that, but having watched it on the Disney Channel, it was clearly made specifically for kids with kid humor and kid themed references. The ad campaign may not have been so kid focused, I just don't remember.
In my recollection, King Pow was marketed much like a Mel Brooks spoof movie or a Hot Shots - esque adult spoof comedy. That is a delicate balance to achieve. There has to be a fair amount of low brow humor, but it has to be tempered with high brow to retain it's adultyness. Kung Pow in my opinion did not achieve that balance. Rocketman was fart jokes and blue toilet liquid humor throughout the entirety of the movie.
All that being said, I would choose Kung Pow over Dean Devlin's Godzilla any day. Can we at least agree on that? Dean Devlin's Godzilla was crap.
Mom:
I should have excluded you as well, but you get the 10 points. They are not really redeemable anyway...
NYM:
That's where the poison is kept...
So ... if I got Roger Ebert to deliver a packet of mosquitoes while you were basking in the sun on Thailand's Ko Samui, you would NOT apprieciate the gift. Is that correct?
peefer:
that would not be the most appropriate gift. a proppos maybe...
After watching Kung Pow once again (yes I "own" it) I must say this, you best fear the gopher chucks baby. Kung Pow is much like a Monty Python in that it gets better with age (and numerous viewings along with intense ammounts of alcohol and squeaky shoes). Besides how often have you sat back and watched a heavily dubbed kung fu movie and supplied your own soundtrack? Besides like all bad movies it is best to view this one under the influence of something in order to get the full effect.
Ok, one final note on Kung Pow. "First a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl wiht a bungee cord? My ass." If that is not comic genius then I am not sober at the moment.
Josh:
A whole bunch of movies are significantly better when one's state is altered.
Josh:
You weren't sober when you typed that, were you?
Dustin:
Even the venerable Mr Campbell makes some mistakes. Need I remind everyone of his bit part in Congo?
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