Hair: Not the Musical

So, the curls are gone. The curls are so gone, that yesterday the first thing Little Man said to me when I picked him up was “Papa haircut.” I guess it has been a long time coming. Virtually tons of hair was removed from my head. My head seems insanely lighter. This morning’s shower saw way more shampoo than necessary make it into my hand. I almost ended up having too much lather for the poor showerhead to disperse quickly. You know the time in the shower when you have to continually adjust the hot and cold water to keep the same temperature. Well, I was down to 1/4th turn left on the cold. It was close. I almost ran out of hot water just trying to lather, rinse, repeat and then condition on top of all that. To top it off a good handful of Head & Shoulders just goes down the drain. Yes, I use a dandruff control hair product on occasion. What of it? Stop judging me and my light-blue, scalp fleck stopping* shampoo (what a fun word to type, shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo shampoo. Yep still fun after 16 times.) Now my shampoo is nearly gone. Gone, I say! GONE!!

Anyway… when I got back from the hair salon I go to coworkers were surprised by the amount of hair that was lopped off. Yes, I actually go to a Salon. I made the mistake of getting a nice haircut once and since then the $10.00 with the local Crappy Cuts (as far as I know a fictional hair cutting institution) just don’t, well, cut it anymore. Same issue happened with the purchase of a really nice pair of shoes, but that is neither here nor there. Regardless of my preferred coifing institution, a few of the coworkers were complimentary of the new haircut, while some were disparaging of the previous cut. (Uncalled for really) Some asked if I felt like a cleanly shorn Sampson, but, alas, I would have had to have been strong with my hair for me to have felt weakened by the lack of it.

What is it about haircuts that causes people to openly and brazenly comment about the style and whether or not they like it? Haircuts are the most often commented upon physical appearance component where people will give their honest opinion. If someone doesn’t like my haircut, they will often go out of the way to tell me that my haircut looks like crap to them. In these instances I assure them that I did not cut my hair for them and that they probably shouldn’t wear whatever they are wearing because it makes them seem a bit on the wrong side of skinny ( If you know what I’m sayin? Fat, rotund, obese, chunky, husky, big-boned, heavyset, plump, beefy in the “what’s not for dinner” way, dumpy, hefty, fleshy, corpulent, etc… ). Even if that is not the case, I tell them that anyway. It is just how I am. You know, nice like that.

To recap
Now that I am clean cut and probably will be invited back to meetings with clients
Last thing Little Man said to me last night was “Papa haircut.”
He talks a whole bunch where it transitions directly from “subject” to “direct object/predicate nominative” with using a verb
It makes diagramming his sentences a bit difficult
Wow, ↑↑↑ I need a new hobby
I am quite tired today
I think it will be pancakes for dinner
Yet again
I am really tired of pancakes
Heck, who am I kidding
I am just plain tired
Have a great weekend, everyone
And stop talking about my hair, Tubby!

* In hindsight the phrasing should have been “scalp fleck stopping light-blue shampoo” (18 times and still fun) to clarify that “light-blue” modifies “shampoo” (19) and not scalp flecks. Umm... Shampoo (20)