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As of today, it has been 9 years of marital bliss for me and Wifey. Honestly, I did not think we would end up how we are today.
You see, the only marriage that I had seen was my parents’, but their marriage is one that lacks affection and seems to be driven mostly by obligation and sense of responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, there is love there, but I think the 2 people who fell in love are not the 2 people who are currently married in that relationship. Their days are spent in separate easy chairs watching TV, reading the paper, and doing crossword puzzles. They are generally unhappy people with really un-fulfilling lives.
I described this to Wifey a few weeks ago, and she asked me, “And you wanted to curse me with that existence by marrying me?” “In a word, ‘yes.’” Is how I answered. In truth, all I knew is that I wanted to spend as much time with her as I possibly could, and to me, that meant marriage, because, Sweet Mother of God and all that is Holy, my parents see each other all the frikking time. 9 years ago, I thought I would merely end up quietly growing old and bitter with her slowly shutting down my emotions all the while learning more and more how to tune out her constant diatribe of negativity being generated by my emotional un-availability and distance. That was the marriage model I could model my actions after. I was basically dooming our wonderful courtship to a decrepit shell of a relationship based on mutual apathy and our own over-wrought sense of obligation. In a sense, I figured that our relationship would die a slow horrible miserable death, a war of attrition, if you will.
I did not realize that my life could be so full. I did not know that I would be having so much fun. I did not know that I would still love her more everyday.
To recap:
9 years ago, I did not know I would be this happy
In fact, I thought I would be an empty empty soul going through the motions of marital existence
I am glad I was wrong
Oddly, we are not celebrating anything tonight
I am actually kind of not allowed to be in the house this evening
Seems she is having some kind of dinner meeting thingy for women only going on, and since I am not so womanly as to have ovaries, I am not invited
Oh, well, Little Man and I will celebrate the 9 years of his parent’s marriage without Wifey.
You see, the only marriage that I had seen was my parents’, but their marriage is one that lacks affection and seems to be driven mostly by obligation and sense of responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, there is love there, but I think the 2 people who fell in love are not the 2 people who are currently married in that relationship. Their days are spent in separate easy chairs watching TV, reading the paper, and doing crossword puzzles. They are generally unhappy people with really un-fulfilling lives.
I described this to Wifey a few weeks ago, and she asked me, “And you wanted to curse me with that existence by marrying me?” “In a word, ‘yes.’” Is how I answered. In truth, all I knew is that I wanted to spend as much time with her as I possibly could, and to me, that meant marriage, because, Sweet Mother of God and all that is Holy, my parents see each other all the frikking time. 9 years ago, I thought I would merely end up quietly growing old and bitter with her slowly shutting down my emotions all the while learning more and more how to tune out her constant diatribe of negativity being generated by my emotional un-availability and distance. That was the marriage model I could model my actions after. I was basically dooming our wonderful courtship to a decrepit shell of a relationship based on mutual apathy and our own over-wrought sense of obligation. In a sense, I figured that our relationship would die a slow horrible miserable death, a war of attrition, if you will.
I did not realize that my life could be so full. I did not know that I would be having so much fun. I did not know that I would still love her more everyday.
To recap:
9 years ago, I did not know I would be this happy
In fact, I thought I would be an empty empty soul going through the motions of marital existence
I am glad I was wrong
Oddly, we are not celebrating anything tonight
I am actually kind of not allowed to be in the house this evening
Seems she is having some kind of dinner meeting thingy for women only going on, and since I am not so womanly as to have ovaries, I am not invited
Oh, well, Little Man and I will celebrate the 9 years of his parent’s marriage without Wifey.
Labels: History of SRH, Wifey
10 Comments:
Congratulations!!
I think this means I owe someone a steak dinner...
Happy Anniv....but did you at least shave your legs this year?
lsig:
I heard the over/under was 10 years. Go figure.
Nancy:
I probably should have worn a full-gown. It was a formal occassion after all*...
for those confused, click here
Congrats! I bet you also never thought that your wife would contribute so much to helping you become a better person.
Wives are kinda weird that way, huh?
QUOTE: I thought I would merely end up quietly growing old and bitter with her slowly shutting down my emotions all the while learning more and more how to tune out her constant diatribe of negativity being generated by my emotional un-availability and distance. That was the marriage model I could model my actions after. I was basically dooming our wonderful courtship to a decrepit shell of a relationship based on mutual apathy and our own over-wrought sense of obligation. In a sense, I figured that our relationship would die a slow horrible miserable death, a war of attrition, if you will.
Wow, you should write fairy tales!
BTW, one more year and it's my turn, right?
JW:
Wifey has made me a much much better person.
Anon:
I do have a way with making the mundane seem fantastic. I still claim the right to be Wifey's consort for a good bit more.
Nadolny:
1. Thanks
2. I am quite matronly
3. Congrats yourself
4. I have heard that the lifeforce sucking takes place at whatever year of marriage + 1
I guess I'm kind of sorry I kicked you out of the house on our anniversary. But in your defense, you are too manly for a women's gathering because no matter how emotionally available and open you are, captain happy and the monument to balzac still makes you a man. And in my defense, it was a Wednesday night. We weren't going to do anything to celebrate on a week night anyway.
So, now that I'm done rationalizing my behavior, I'll just say, "Happy Anniversary" and I can't wait to celebrate this weekend.
Congratulations!
Wives, while mystifying -and perennially insane- are without doubt the best things to keep around. Left to our own devises men would still be living in the wilds, being chased about by Hippos and we all know how you feel about that . . .
Later!
Zany Mama:
I honestly have no problem with you having folk over last night. I had a great evening with Little Man. Too bad he reacted to dinner...
J.A.:
Damn hippos.....
Nadolny:
She does have a way of words about her.
Peefer:
I am sticking by my Years Married + 1 equation.
Peefer:
The "Misery loves company" sub-textual kind of congradualtions?
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