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Okay, I don’t quite understand this necessity of Wifey. I understand that when she gets a culinary craving, and I mean serious, get out of her way craving, that she must sate that craving rather quickly. I also understand that I am often the beneficiary of her impromptu baking flurries. She will get a craving and suddenly need, NEED I tell you, brownies, cookies, fudge, etc… That evening, whatever evening it is, she will bake ferociously (sometimes into the wee hours of the morning) until her baked goods are completed and cooling on a rack somewhere.
Side Note: I feel it necessary that everyone know the Wifey does not tend to have these craving terribly often. Maybe once every 2 or 3 months… at most. It is probably much less often than that, if I really think about it.
Anyway… to the point of this post. Why in the name of Ba’al, the pre-operative transgender god/dess*, does Wifey insist on putting nuts in everything she bakes. Walnuts, almonds, pecans, peanuts, etc… in fudge, brownies, and cookies. Nary a damn baked good comes out of our oven that she has prepared that does not have some nut (“nut” not Nut, the Egyptian Goddess of the Sky) embedded within its baked goodness.
Now, I am not here to just rant against adding hard shelled seeds to bakes goods. I am ranting about adding hard shelled seeds to ALL her baked goods. Baked goods do not always need a nut in them. Cookies don’t have to contain a walnut piece or almond sliver before that are considered a cookie. Heck, she even wants white cake to be frikkin’ “White ALMOND Cake.” Lay off the nuts, Wifey! Wait, that was phrased poorly. Let me try again. Ummm… nope, there really isn’t a good way to phrase that one. Just disregard this post entirely. This post is over, folks! Just, move along. Move along…
To recap:
I have a splitting headache
Looks like Fluffy the Pine Marten has decided to take residence in my skull again
We determined that last night’s brownies were the last nutty baked goods that she will be producing in our kitchen due to Little Man’s allergies
When he wasn’t all over the place, it was not so bad to get some walnut dust and scrapings on the counter
Now, it could be a problem
Pancakes and sausage for dinner
Everyone have a good weekend
*note: A friend of mine figures that Ba’al is out there just waiting for someone to recognize him/her as a god, but then, when hears how he is being referenced, the god/dess is distraught about his/her characterization. It is just a little trick we like to play on the Babylonian Mythos. It is the equivalent of a prank call on a diety.
Side Note: I feel it necessary that everyone know the Wifey does not tend to have these craving terribly often. Maybe once every 2 or 3 months… at most. It is probably much less often than that, if I really think about it.
Anyway… to the point of this post. Why in the name of Ba’al, the pre-operative transgender god/dess*, does Wifey insist on putting nuts in everything she bakes. Walnuts, almonds, pecans, peanuts, etc… in fudge, brownies, and cookies. Nary a damn baked good comes out of our oven that she has prepared that does not have some nut (“nut” not Nut, the Egyptian Goddess of the Sky) embedded within its baked goodness.
Now, I am not here to just rant against adding hard shelled seeds to bakes goods. I am ranting about adding hard shelled seeds to ALL her baked goods. Baked goods do not always need a nut in them. Cookies don’t have to contain a walnut piece or almond sliver before that are considered a cookie. Heck, she even wants white cake to be frikkin’ “White ALMOND Cake.” Lay off the nuts, Wifey! Wait, that was phrased poorly. Let me try again. Ummm… nope, there really isn’t a good way to phrase that one. Just disregard this post entirely. This post is over, folks! Just, move along. Move along…
To recap:
I have a splitting headache
Looks like Fluffy the Pine Marten has decided to take residence in my skull again
We determined that last night’s brownies were the last nutty baked goods that she will be producing in our kitchen due to Little Man’s allergies
When he wasn’t all over the place, it was not so bad to get some walnut dust and scrapings on the counter
Now, it could be a problem
Pancakes and sausage for dinner
Everyone have a good weekend
*note: A friend of mine figures that Ba’al is out there just waiting for someone to recognize him/her as a god, but then, when hears how he is being referenced, the god/dess is distraught about his/her characterization. It is just a little trick we like to play on the Babylonian Mythos. It is the equivalent of a prank call on a diety.
Labels: History of SRH, mad ramblings, Pine Marten in tha House, Wifey
8 Comments:
There is not a baked good around that a nut doesn't improve.
What've you got against nuts? Nuts are high in protein and fiber. Some nuts (almonds & hazelnuts to be exact)have high levels of Vitamin E. They also contain iron and calcium. In fact, 120 almonds have about as much calcium as a 8 oz. glass of milk and are much tastier!
Nuts rule. Bake on, wifey! Oh, except for the little man problem. Can't hurt little man.
I can completely understand the craving thing. My weakness is the chili dog. Once, or twice a year, I must have chili dogs for breakfast lunch and dinner until an entire package of turkey franks, a whole white onion, a bag of cheddar, and a bag of whole wheat buns ceases to exist. These cravings can also take hold at any time, and must be dealt with. I have found myself up making a crock pot of chili as late as 2a.m., because when I gots ta have me some chili dogs, I GOTS ta have me some chili dogs man!!!
By the way, I am quite impressed by the fact that you were able to work baking and egyptian mythology into the same blog mere words from each other.
By the way again, BREAKFAST DINNER RULES!!!
LMFAO @ "Lay off the nuts, Wifey"!!
You are doomed, oh so doomed.
And I always put nuts in my salads. So there.
I love breakfast for dinner.
i dont like nuts in my brownies. that's nasty.
Shouldn't brownies with nuts be called boy scouts?
Mom:
I did not say that nuts were not good, or even that they shouldn't be in baked goods. I stated that they should not be in ALL baked goods.
JW:
Luckily my cravings tend to be cheap frozen pizzas. Sure a trip to trhe store may be in order, but after that, no time at all till I am consuming cheap pizza bliss
As to the breakfast for dinner, since Little Man is still allergic to eggs, we miss them greatly.
Nancy:
Oh, so doomed.
KimmyK:
Truth be told these brownies are absolutely amazing, even with the nuts.
Anon:
No, that would be Cub Scouts or Weblos. Girl Scouts with nuts are Boy Scouts.
We get impulse-pastries around these parts sometimes too, though they are always female (i.e., nut-free). Our salads are often manly, though.
Ironically (and probably fortunately), little H rarely gets his sticky mitts on any of the goodies. He doesn't really get ("get" in the sense of both "understand" and "acquire") sugar-packed treats. His cookies are usually somewhat bland affairs from Trader Joe's, both for his health and to keep us from filching them. No Oreo would be safe in our house, but TJ's alphabet cookies? Bring 'em on.
B:
All the sudden Little Man decided that yesterday he was going to eat the cupcake. We have offered him cupcakes (sans allergens) to him for the last 2 years, and he would never touch them. All of a sudden, yesterday all he is talking about is the cup ckaes we made for him for his Mimma's birthday. Then he actuallt ATE it! H might just be biding his time.
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