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It was a nice afternoon. It was Thursday afternoon of last week. Thursday 09 March 2006, to be exact. I had just picked up Little Man from Grandma D and Grandpa R’s house. He had a great day with them. He was very happy to see me, but he had a good nap and a good lunch. All in all, it was a good day with the surrogate grandparents. We saddled up for the medium sized trek home.
Pirky has finally done it. He knows this is my territory. I have had it for at least 3 seasons. If he comes into my territory one more time, there will be a reckoning. I did not work for all this to let it be taken by some young pup with no idea of how hard it is to manage this amount of territory.
The trip was going very typically. Little Man was exclaiming, “UP! DOWN!!” in his usual exuberance while we wnet over speed bumps heading out of the condo complex to the street. Again the drive was un-eventful. I chatted on the cell with Wifey whilst Little Man listened intently to Laurie Berkner. All in all it was an un-eventful trip to chez SRH.
What the Hell is Nedly’s deal?!? He has way too much territory all ready. I am just going to take a corner of his. He won’t even notice. He is getting fat and lazy with all his land. I need more land so I can sleep at night without being too hungry.
We went passed the Wendy’s on the way home. Little Man bellowed at the top of his lungs for “chiri.” It is the delicacy of choice for Little Man from Wendy’s. We already had dinner planned for the evening, so no chiri for the Little Man tonight. I explained this to him, and It made him sad.
Sweet Mother of Jeebus! Surely that isn’t Pirky coming into my land again. “PIRKY! Get the Hell off my property!” If I can chase him into the street, he will know just how mad I am at him encroaching like this.
“Bring it old man!” If I can make it to the street, the old codger won’t really hurt me.
So we had to wait at the light to turn right. Some jerk cut us off at the last second who was going to go straight. Jerk. The light changes and the jerk in front of finally gets his craptastic car out of my way so I can turn on the street I should have been able to turn on if Jerkey McJerk from Jerksville hadn’t cut me off. We went passed the K-Mart entrance, passed the medical imaging building’s entrance, and were right next to a local ball field park entrance when it happened.
I know I shouldn’t chase Pirky into the street, but he needs to know that he can’t just flounce around on my land.
Good Lord! Is Nedly actually chasing me into the street. Gods! That guy is nuts!
What the Hell is that big black thing…
What the Hell is that big black thing…
They just came out of no where. The large one was chasing the smaller one. I can only assume it was some sort of territorial dispute, or something to do with available mates. They just ran out into the street. I think I hit both of them at the same time with both front tires. I don’t even think they had time to scream.
I am become Shiva, destroyer of squirrels.
To recap:
On Saturday I tagged another one
I think it was a memorial service for Pirky and Nedly
In squirrel territorial disputes, no one wins
Well, technically an ’03 Black Jetta wins
Most of the “To Do” list from Thursday got “To Done”-ish
“Kill 3 squirrels with car” should have been on the list
I am remorseful
No, really
Pirky has finally done it. He knows this is my territory. I have had it for at least 3 seasons. If he comes into my territory one more time, there will be a reckoning. I did not work for all this to let it be taken by some young pup with no idea of how hard it is to manage this amount of territory.
The trip was going very typically. Little Man was exclaiming, “UP! DOWN!!” in his usual exuberance while we wnet over speed bumps heading out of the condo complex to the street. Again the drive was un-eventful. I chatted on the cell with Wifey whilst Little Man listened intently to Laurie Berkner. All in all it was an un-eventful trip to chez SRH.
What the Hell is Nedly’s deal?!? He has way too much territory all ready. I am just going to take a corner of his. He won’t even notice. He is getting fat and lazy with all his land. I need more land so I can sleep at night without being too hungry.
We went passed the Wendy’s on the way home. Little Man bellowed at the top of his lungs for “chiri.” It is the delicacy of choice for Little Man from Wendy’s. We already had dinner planned for the evening, so no chiri for the Little Man tonight. I explained this to him, and It made him sad.
Sweet Mother of Jeebus! Surely that isn’t Pirky coming into my land again. “PIRKY! Get the Hell off my property!” If I can chase him into the street, he will know just how mad I am at him encroaching like this.
“Bring it old man!” If I can make it to the street, the old codger won’t really hurt me.
So we had to wait at the light to turn right. Some jerk cut us off at the last second who was going to go straight. Jerk. The light changes and the jerk in front of finally gets his craptastic car out of my way so I can turn on the street I should have been able to turn on if Jerkey McJerk from Jerksville hadn’t cut me off. We went passed the K-Mart entrance, passed the medical imaging building’s entrance, and were right next to a local ball field park entrance when it happened.
I know I shouldn’t chase Pirky into the street, but he needs to know that he can’t just flounce around on my land.
Good Lord! Is Nedly actually chasing me into the street. Gods! That guy is nuts!
What the Hell is that big black thing…
What the Hell is that big black thing…
They just came out of no where. The large one was chasing the smaller one. I can only assume it was some sort of territorial dispute, or something to do with available mates. They just ran out into the street. I think I hit both of them at the same time with both front tires. I don’t even think they had time to scream.
I am become Shiva, destroyer of squirrels.
To recap:
On Saturday I tagged another one
I think it was a memorial service for Pirky and Nedly
In squirrel territorial disputes, no one wins
Well, technically an ’03 Black Jetta wins
Most of the “To Do” list from Thursday got “To Done”-ish
“Kill 3 squirrels with car” should have been on the list
I am remorseful
No, really
8 Comments:
but how did the Little Man react? He must've been scared at such a murderous turn of events
Little Man was unaware of the carnage taking place under the treads of my mighty Jetta. He was singing something about pretzels. I was the only one in the vehicle cringing after the "event."
To summerize: He was blissfully unaware.
For some stupid reason, my inquiring mind wants to know if Grandma D was ever a captain, so I can think of her as the owner of Captain D's. I have no idea why this popped into my head and even less idea why I am typing it down here.
Second, based on my observations of the ravine in our backyard and the bazillion squirrels and trees out there, I assume it is mating season for them (the squirrels, not the trees, although...). I only mention this because I really liked the background story interspersed in the blog, and I now wonder how interesting it would have been if the mating season angle had been pursued.
-Nadolny...
Nadolny:
Nope, Grandma D ha snever been the owner of a Captain D's. mmmmm hush puppies
I decided against the mating angle, just because it could be about mating by focusing on the territorial dsipute. More of a general conflict this way, plus I didn't want to think of the ones left behind after the Jetta of fate descended upon poor poor Nedly and Pirky.
i hit a cat once and thought i was going to puke...i can't imagine hitting squirrel after squirrel.
crap it musta been like playing some sort of sick twisted frogger there.
kimmyk:
I hit a dog one time, and it shook me up for a long time. Another time I was driving in the not-greatest neighborhood and a rotweiller (sp?)actually ran into my car door. It dented the door. I did not stop to see if the dog was okay.
Your post was really clever as it turned what could have been a tragic post about the death of 2 small squirrels into a cheerful celebration of their lives. Was there much damage done to your car?
CG:
For the record, it was one large squirrel and a not so large squirrel. No damage done to my car. It seems it was built for suirrel slaying.
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