Snicker-snack

So we found the absolute best toy ever for Little Man this weekend. It was purely by accident, and could no way have been concepted as a toy for him. Yet, he made it his own anyway. That is the way of children.

Wifey found some wrapping paper (not a Rapping Paper, or scholarly article in a recognized academic journal whose subject matter happens to be about the music commonly referred to as “Rap.”) on sale at Target (you always have to pay full-price for a “Rapping Paper,” them bitches never go on sale). It was a whopping $0.69 a roll. We constantly go broke saving money. It is bright and colorful, and has about seven colors associated with it. So by “bright and colorful” I really mean “really” bright and “very” colorful. We are very economically minded, so she only bought 2.

Little Man decided that 1 of the 2 tubes of wrapping paper was his. He started running around the house with it. Mooing into the tube and then giggling. He was doing this really odd thing where he placed the tube vertically along the door jamb and slid it up as far as he could and then giggled. He would slide it along the floor… and then giggle. Playing with wrapping paper seems to induce giggles. I am not sure if everyone out there was aware of that fact.

I do believe the tube became the rod of his station for a while. He would carry the thing around in the crook of his arm as he ordered Wifey and I around for his juice boxes and cornch. He was very regal indeed. All he needed was his ermine cape draped elegantly over his shoulders. The rod of his station quickly became his vorpal blade since he soon devolved into the swinging the tube around. He connected with Papa a few times… and giggled. It turns out I am his Jabberwocky.

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

To recap:
Boy, Lewis Carroll was a freak.
Wrapping paper = giggles
This weather is making a mockery of my sinuses
“I’m your Jabberwocky” is not a good ice breaker
I would much rather be the walrus to his carpenter
Ooh, I am all literary today
I can guaran-damn-tee you that tomorrow, I will have no literary allusions
Snicker-snack
I think that is how I will end most of my conversations
“So, I need you to change this line weight and play with the color saturation on this choropleth category. Snicker-snack!”