Such bitter bitter people

Many of the people I work with call today “Single’s Awareness Day” due to the emphasis on relationships placed on today. These people, of course, are simply un-coupled and un-couplable the lot of them, oh yeah, and bitter. Yes, indeed, they are bitter. Not like dark chocolate bitter either. It is the angry kind of bitter that makes woodchucks fret and scurry about doing decidedly non-woodchuck-like things. Sometimes they refer to today as “that fucking holiday in Feburary.” Yes, they mispronounce it/mis-spell it, but that is because they are bitter. I did mention bitter, right?

Anyway, love and angst is in the air around here. The people in the office who are paired up with mates are all aglow with felling of love and contentment, whilst the singulars are all angry and bitter with their gnashing of their collective teeth. The office smells like a grocery store florist shop. Okay that was a bit harsh, it smells like a grocery store flower shøppë. See, it is much more sophisticated. Everything is more sophisticated with umlauts and that Scandinavian “ø” thingy. The rose scents are all combating each other for supremacy and no one is winning. It is a stalemate of odors. Coupled people are eating chocolates out of their heart shaped boxes (not the Nirvana kind, ewww) and chatting of dates planned for this evening. The un-coupled are going to go drown their sorrows at seedy dive bars this evening lamenting their lack of play. All in all, it is what we would call a typical Tuesday evening around here.

I will be picking up Little Man from the caregivers whilst Wifey goes and teaches an Ashtanga yoga class for some business as a perk for their employees. (That’s right, merely being in a room with my wife is considered a perk by local businesses. Beat that! Boo-yah!) All in all, we are quite the romantics, I can’t actually think of any sort of Valentine’s Day celebrations that we have ever done. Wifey, do you remember any? We tend to celebrate our engagement anniversary instead, since it means something more personal to us. As all of you know, that was last week.

To recap:
All of you uncoupled folk out there are clearly doing something wrong, clearly
No really, it is clear
Amazingly clear
It hurts my eyes due to the amount of clarity
It was not insane luck and blind fortune that brought Wifey and I together
No really
Okay, maybe a bit of luck and a smidgen of good fortune
Fine, it was pure luck and gobs of good fortune
That being said, it is hard work by both of us that keeps us together
Little Man might have a train problem
I am just saying