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My sunglasses broke this morning, and I have very photosensitive eyes. Bright sunlight hurts me, much like a vampire. Well not like a vampire hurts me. Vampires hurt me by never acknowledging me in public. I know you can see me Nosferatu, why won’t you wave back?!?! Why?!?!? It’s the garlic, isn’t it? Well, Count, it just so happens that I like white pizzas every now and again. I can’t help it if the base of that is olive oil and garlic. It is not my fault that you are mortally weakened by the pungent bulb. (tee hee, I said, “pungent bulb”) Ahem… where was I. Oh yes, broken sunglasses.
Anyway… this morning after cleaning off and digging out Wifey’s car, I reached into my pocket to get out my sunglasses and heard a small ‘tick.”
No, not that Tick. A small ‘tick’ that could only be due to the rim of my sunglasses snapping and letting the lens fall free into my pocket. I don’t really know when exactly my eyes became the wussiest eyes on the face of the planet, but, in truth, they are. They have been this way at least since college. Yep, since college, I have put on sunglasses the moment I step out of a door into the big wide world. I kind of feel naked without them. Naked and blind. At the same time.
I know that my eyes should be able to handle the big bright world without the aid of dimming spectacles, but for some reason I have lost that ability. I also am aware of my propensity for losing and breaking sunglasses. I lose and/or break sunglasses at an alarming rate. At one point in time I used to purchase more expensive glasses, but due to my amazing ability I found that cheaper glasses made more fiscally responsible sense. Instead of the Sunglass Hut and Oakley’s, now it is Target or a grocery store and no memorable brand name. The sad thing is that the ability of the glasses to filter the UV and shade my delicate lace-like eyes is about the same.
I usually have an extra pair in my car just for this kind of “emergency.” Alas and alack, Little Man appropriated the glasses as a train table decoration about a month ago. Seeing as how I have kept my most recent pair of glasses for 8 whole months, I guess I got cocky and didn’t think I needed the extra. How wrong I was. How how wrong… Now I am snow-blind and fighting off a headache induced by the brightness of the sun and snow.
To recap:
SPOOOOOOOOON!
I am not sure if anything momentous will be occurring this weekend
I really feel like I am whining just to be whiny today
That and I am lacking a certain ability to filter UV rays from my delicate delicate eyes
Shading the sun from my eyes with my hands doesn’t work that great
And people think I am saluting them
Mockingly
Actually, people think I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
People are rarely correct
But sometimes they are
This is one of those rare timed that they are correct
I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
Tons really
I miss The Tick Cartoon
I need to get it on DVD
Have a great weekend everyone
Anyway… this morning after cleaning off and digging out Wifey’s car, I reached into my pocket to get out my sunglasses and heard a small ‘tick.”
No, not that Tick. A small ‘tick’ that could only be due to the rim of my sunglasses snapping and letting the lens fall free into my pocket. I don’t really know when exactly my eyes became the wussiest eyes on the face of the planet, but, in truth, they are. They have been this way at least since college. Yep, since college, I have put on sunglasses the moment I step out of a door into the big wide world. I kind of feel naked without them. Naked and blind. At the same time.I know that my eyes should be able to handle the big bright world without the aid of dimming spectacles, but for some reason I have lost that ability. I also am aware of my propensity for losing and breaking sunglasses. I lose and/or break sunglasses at an alarming rate. At one point in time I used to purchase more expensive glasses, but due to my amazing ability I found that cheaper glasses made more fiscally responsible sense. Instead of the Sunglass Hut and Oakley’s, now it is Target or a grocery store and no memorable brand name. The sad thing is that the ability of the glasses to filter the UV and shade my delicate lace-like eyes is about the same.
I usually have an extra pair in my car just for this kind of “emergency.” Alas and alack, Little Man appropriated the glasses as a train table decoration about a month ago. Seeing as how I have kept my most recent pair of glasses for 8 whole months, I guess I got cocky and didn’t think I needed the extra. How wrong I was. How how wrong… Now I am snow-blind and fighting off a headache induced by the brightness of the sun and snow.
To recap:
SPOOOOOOOOON!
I am not sure if anything momentous will be occurring this weekendI really feel like I am whining just to be whiny today
That and I am lacking a certain ability to filter UV rays from my delicate delicate eyes
Shading the sun from my eyes with my hands doesn’t work that great
And people think I am saluting them
Mockingly
Actually, people think I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
People are rarely correct
But sometimes they are
This is one of those rare timed that they are correct
I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
Tons really
I miss The Tick Cartoon
I need to get it on DVD
Have a great weekend everyone
Labels: mad ramblings
6 Comments:
And here all this time I thought you were wearing those glasses because you were just trying to be cool. Oh how wrong I was. I take back all the "look at mister I am wearing sunglasses because I am better than everyone else" comments. :)
Naked and blind. Yeah, I have that fantasy sometimes too. Does Mr. Salty show up to rescue you, too?
I believe you specified a 'small tick.' That is certainly NOT a small Tick.
Sometime I'll post some of the photos from a COSI Halloween party about 8 years ago, when my friends and I went as a Tick ensemble. Bruce's Tick outfit was truly magnificent. (I was an Idea Man.)
Jgoenar:
Yep,I was wearing them because I have crappy eyes. They are 20/20, but can't handle light.
Anon:
Ummmm... Nope. No Mr. Salty. Thank goodness no Mr. Salty.
B:
I love me some Tick costumes.
OK, I'll look around for them. Good grief, has it already been 9+ years since that happened? I guess so -- it was my second October in Columbus, which would have been 1997. Holy crap, how does time go so fast? The fetus in Amy's (our "Arthur") belly is now an 8-year-old girl.
My wife and I went to that Halloween with some friends. Your costume was better than ours. We were a leprauchaun (me) and a rainbow (them).
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