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I am not sure why but for the past week and a half I have not been able to get to sleep at a reasonable time if I am supposed to work during regular business hours. Last night, even while being exhausted, I stared at the ceiling for at least an hour before I jumped on the PC to play some spider solitaire and online Sudoku. These mental pursuits tend to occupy my mind but do not suck me in and force me to use benchmarks as reasons to stop playing (a la World of Warcraft’s addicting “just one more level/quest/skill level/etc…” mode of play).
The bizarre thing is that my mind is not racing or flitting from subject to subject. I have to actually think up things to occupy my bored and un-sleeping mind. Sadly this usually takes the form of mental time calculations. I look at the clock and figure out how much sleep I would get if I went to sleep riiiiight now! Okay… now! That doesn’t help, but it seems to be where my mind gravitates, and since this noggin doesn’t seem to gravitate unless I ask it to, I usually stay in that space thinking that I will get 4 hours and 37 minutes of sleep if I fall asleep riiiiiiiight now! And really, base 60 math calculations are not really my forte, but it marginally passes the time.
I kind of do the same thing when I am working out on an elliptical machine as well. Except on the elliptical I make myself determine the fraction of time I have been on the damn machine and the fraction of the whole I have left to be on the damn machine. More than once I have thought to myself, "I am 8/15ths done which means that I only have 7/15th left but that means that in 2 minutes I will be at 3/5ths completed and only have 2/5ths to go. Yea! In 4 minutes I will be at…" As one can see, I absolutely hate exercising due to the fraction laden mental gymnastics I do. It is even worse when I up the time on the damnable machine to 45 minutes. Those fractions hurt my head… badly.
Anyway… 2 to 3 AM is when I have been getting to sleep, and I should be getting up by 6 AM. Clearly that has not consistently been the case. I have been able to pull it off occasionally, but this week has not be stellar is the way of getting up.
Oh well. I guess this is a round about way of telling everyone out there that I am rather tired.
To recap:
I need me some sleep
Badly
It is amazing how fast one can re-arrange one’s daily schedule when the alarm is going off
Alarm: I will just skip breakfast
Alarm: I don’t need to shave today
Alarm: I can shower tomorrow
Alarm: There’s some unfolded laundry on the couch, I could just grabs some clothes there
Alarm: I drive pretty fast…
Truth be told the second time the alarm goes off leads to this
Alarm: Wifey: Get out of bed! And stop waking me up!
Me: Sorry… then I turn the alarm off
Wifey is not happy in the morning
She is not a Neanderthal cave bear like a certain room-mate of mine the last year of undergrad But she is grumpy enough
I am not saying she doesn’t have a right to be grumpy either
If I didn’t have to get up and the alarm kept going off I would be grumpy too
Heck, I did have to get up and the alarm kept going off and I was grumpy
The bizarre thing is that my mind is not racing or flitting from subject to subject. I have to actually think up things to occupy my bored and un-sleeping mind. Sadly this usually takes the form of mental time calculations. I look at the clock and figure out how much sleep I would get if I went to sleep riiiiight now! Okay… now! That doesn’t help, but it seems to be where my mind gravitates, and since this noggin doesn’t seem to gravitate unless I ask it to, I usually stay in that space thinking that I will get 4 hours and 37 minutes of sleep if I fall asleep riiiiiiiight now! And really, base 60 math calculations are not really my forte, but it marginally passes the time.
I kind of do the same thing when I am working out on an elliptical machine as well. Except on the elliptical I make myself determine the fraction of time I have been on the damn machine and the fraction of the whole I have left to be on the damn machine. More than once I have thought to myself, "I am 8/15ths done which means that I only have 7/15th left but that means that in 2 minutes I will be at 3/5ths completed and only have 2/5ths to go. Yea! In 4 minutes I will be at…" As one can see, I absolutely hate exercising due to the fraction laden mental gymnastics I do. It is even worse when I up the time on the damnable machine to 45 minutes. Those fractions hurt my head… badly.
Anyway… 2 to 3 AM is when I have been getting to sleep, and I should be getting up by 6 AM. Clearly that has not consistently been the case. I have been able to pull it off occasionally, but this week has not be stellar is the way of getting up.
Oh well. I guess this is a round about way of telling everyone out there that I am rather tired.
To recap:
I need me some sleep
Badly
It is amazing how fast one can re-arrange one’s daily schedule when the alarm is going off
Alarm: I will just skip breakfast
Alarm: I don’t need to shave today
Alarm: I can shower tomorrow
Alarm: There’s some unfolded laundry on the couch, I could just grabs some clothes there
Alarm: I drive pretty fast…
Truth be told the second time the alarm goes off leads to this
Alarm: Wifey: Get out of bed! And stop waking me up!
Me: Sorry… then I turn the alarm off
Wifey is not happy in the morning
She is not a Neanderthal cave bear like a certain room-mate of mine the last year of undergrad But she is grumpy enough
I am not saying she doesn’t have a right to be grumpy either
If I didn’t have to get up and the alarm kept going off I would be grumpy too
Heck, I did have to get up and the alarm kept going off and I was grumpy
Labels: mad ramblings
3 Comments:
your ex-roomate in college sounds like a great guy. hawt even. i am sure that it was not nearly as bad as you made it sound. why is it so hard to fathom that some people thoroughly enjoy sleeping and deeply despise the world and anything associated with it when that slumber ends abruptly.
Uh...I tend to think it IS as bad as it sounds, or even worse. Isn't sleep deprivation on the list of approved torture techniques? I had this same kind of insomnia for about 9 years. Something about the chemical changes of pregnancy and years of staying up with sick kids. Seratonin depletion?
In the end, my MD put me on Effexor or Paxil, or something like that and after two weeks I was sleeping through the night! Then I got pregnant again and had to quit taking it.
Atmikha
Ksig:
ummmm... you were my roomate in college, and I believe, much to everyone else's lack of understanding, Lsig found (and till does find) you "hawt." Go fig. I completely understand the way someone could deeply despise the world when it makes one awake. I also know to stay a good distance away from one that feels this way about being torn from one's slumber.
Atmikha:
9 years of insomnia must have been rather difficult.
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