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Okay, I am not much for giving advice to other parents. I mean, really, if you have kids, you have enough people telling you how to parent. Your parents chime in every now and again, co-workers with kids, (surprisingly enough) co-workers without kids, total strangers, doctors, social workers, children’s services workers, etc… You know, people who should mind their own business and let you parent how you wish. That being said, I feel it is my duty to inform other parents of Wifey and my parental discovery of last night. Keep in my, I am in no way telling anyone what to do. I am merely imparting knowledge gained through adversity. Adversity one hopes you, other parent, will not have to experience. I am altruistic like that.
When attempting to cut your child’s hair for the first time on your own, do not:
Number 1: make the attempt when one or more parents are fending off a migraine
Number 2: make the attempt when one or more parents are having gall bladder issues
Number 3: make the attempt when one or more parents have not eaten recently
Number 4: make the attempt when the child is nearing the end of his day without a nap
Number 5: make the attempt within view of anything more enjoyable than sitting and getting his hair cut by his parents
Number 6: make the attempt while blocking the view of the Library’s copy of Blues Clues on the TV.
Last night we broke all 6 of those.
I was hungry and fending off a migraine, while Wifey was hungry and dealing with gall bladder issues. I accidentally nicked Little Man’s ear with some scissors. He cried… a bunch. He cried a bunch more than it hurt because it was close to bed-time, he didn’t have a nap, the train table was still within his sight (but waaaay over there in the other room), and Papa was too opaque thus blocking Blues Clues.
The whole hair-cutting experiment had to be halted while Little Man calmed himself with some passenger train action on the train table. By the end of the fiasco it looked like he had been mauled by a little tiny bear. The side of his head was all bloodied, there were tears streaming down his face, and 2 patches of hair that clearly had not been cut yet. He was in the living room holding tufts of newly shorn locks in his hands saying, “Want hair back on head…” He really looked pretty rough. The ear stopped bleeding before bath-time, and the final 2 areas were taken care of in his bath. We felt vindicated.. headachey, bellyachey and vindicated when he liked how it looked when he saw himself in the mirror.
All in all, I have to say that his hair looks pretty good… now. I still would wait until more favorable conditions before making the attempt again.
Just a friendly bit of advice from me to you.
To recap:
Need to get to the grocery tonight
I also need my hairs cut
It seems that my hairs cutter is unavailable due to birth of his first child
Congrats JW! Get pics up soon!
Looks like I will be scruffy a while longer
Speaking of scruffy, I need me some new pants
Heck, I probably need some new shirts
I am a disheveled unkempt shaggy headed blogger
Really, It is not pretty
Oh, yeah, make sure you kid goes to the bathroom before mauling his hair
Have a great weekend everyone
When attempting to cut your child’s hair for the first time on your own, do not:
Number 1: make the attempt when one or more parents are fending off a migraine
Number 2: make the attempt when one or more parents are having gall bladder issues
Number 3: make the attempt when one or more parents have not eaten recently
Number 4: make the attempt when the child is nearing the end of his day without a nap
Number 5: make the attempt within view of anything more enjoyable than sitting and getting his hair cut by his parents
Number 6: make the attempt while blocking the view of the Library’s copy of Blues Clues on the TV.
Last night we broke all 6 of those.
I was hungry and fending off a migraine, while Wifey was hungry and dealing with gall bladder issues. I accidentally nicked Little Man’s ear with some scissors. He cried… a bunch. He cried a bunch more than it hurt because it was close to bed-time, he didn’t have a nap, the train table was still within his sight (but waaaay over there in the other room), and Papa was too opaque thus blocking Blues Clues.
The whole hair-cutting experiment had to be halted while Little Man calmed himself with some passenger train action on the train table. By the end of the fiasco it looked like he had been mauled by a little tiny bear. The side of his head was all bloodied, there were tears streaming down his face, and 2 patches of hair that clearly had not been cut yet. He was in the living room holding tufts of newly shorn locks in his hands saying, “Want hair back on head…” He really looked pretty rough. The ear stopped bleeding before bath-time, and the final 2 areas were taken care of in his bath. We felt vindicated.. headachey, bellyachey and vindicated when he liked how it looked when he saw himself in the mirror.
All in all, I have to say that his hair looks pretty good… now. I still would wait until more favorable conditions before making the attempt again.
Just a friendly bit of advice from me to you.
To recap:
Need to get to the grocery tonight
I also need my hairs cut
It seems that my hairs cutter is unavailable due to birth of his first child
Congrats JW! Get pics up soon!
Looks like I will be scruffy a while longer
Speaking of scruffy, I need me some new pants
Heck, I probably need some new shirts
I am a disheveled unkempt shaggy headed blogger
Really, It is not pretty
Oh, yeah, make sure you kid goes to the bathroom before mauling his hair
Have a great weekend everyone
Labels: Little Man
3 Comments:
At the risk of offering unwanted advice, may I ask why oh WHY do you heterosexuals insist on trying to cut your offsprings' hair? I'm not out there trying to make babies. Stay in your own yard, dammit.
I haven't cut my son's hair for six months. He can't see, and is starting to bump into walls, but the alternative is ... you know ... cutting his hair. And we don't want to go there.
anon:
We "heteros" are cheap.
Peefer:
I completely understand. We were tempted to start locking his hair, but dreads on a less than 4 year old tend to be frowned upon in Central Ohio. Puritans! The lot of them!
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