Today I am writing a document. Okay, it is really more of a report than a document. Well, it is less of a report and more of a position paper. Now that you mention it, it is not so much of a position paper as an internal memorandum. If one pressed, I would probably prefer to call it a loose outline of a framework. If you want to call a spade a spade, it is a note. All truth be told, I scribbled some stuff on a post-it… in crayon… with my weak hand… by “hand” I technically mean my “left foot.”
Yes, I am quite the industrious employee. Will this blog suffer because I am pouring my writing energies into something else? You betcha! You see, I am, what they call cognitively challenged. To clarify; for this person, me, “cognitively challenged” means “lazy, easily distracted, and none too bright.” Hell, I just remembered that I hadn’t updated. And it is almost 3 pm here in cloudy Central Ohio.
Here are some sentences I have been told should not be on the well, post-it note
1. While in 2000, this was innovative and energetic; in 2006 it is trite and tired.
2. We create high quality graphics for our proposals, but embed them in a lifeless husk of paper.
3. Our third and final issue that will hamper our ability to move forward is our lack of willingness to change the status quo.
4. If we continue down this path of stagnation and complacency we will easily be left behind by our competitors.
5. Time is a factor because, currently, while using our “tried and true” methods we are typically getting everything final and ready the day of a meeting/presentation. Sometimes we even slip into the hour of the meeting/presentation for our final completion.
Wifey, felt I needed to soften the language somewhat. Go Figure
To recap:
I was supposed to have my employee review today, but much like every year, I have been bumped by a crisis involving the City of Cleveland and its crappy Interstate system
Little Man had a great day at work yesterday
His bosses seem to like having him “on the team”
Do they have to do payroll taxes for an un-paid minor intern?
Does this infringe on the child labor laws?
My muffler is not loud, but I paid for it like it is. Oh wait, that’s wifey’s muffler
Mt. Dew is the nectar of the gods – not that I’m drinking it, but I’m thinking about it
A whole bunch
Yes, I am quite the industrious employee. Will this blog suffer because I am pouring my writing energies into something else? You betcha! You see, I am, what they call cognitively challenged. To clarify; for this person, me, “cognitively challenged” means “lazy, easily distracted, and none too bright.” Hell, I just remembered that I hadn’t updated. And it is almost 3 pm here in cloudy Central Ohio.
Here are some sentences I have been told should not be on the well, post-it note
1. While in 2000, this was innovative and energetic; in 2006 it is trite and tired.
2. We create high quality graphics for our proposals, but embed them in a lifeless husk of paper.
3. Our third and final issue that will hamper our ability to move forward is our lack of willingness to change the status quo.
4. If we continue down this path of stagnation and complacency we will easily be left behind by our competitors.
5. Time is a factor because, currently, while using our “tried and true” methods we are typically getting everything final and ready the day of a meeting/presentation. Sometimes we even slip into the hour of the meeting/presentation for our final completion.
Wifey, felt I needed to soften the language somewhat. Go Figure
To recap:
I was supposed to have my employee review today, but much like every year, I have been bumped by a crisis involving the City of Cleveland and its crappy Interstate system
Little Man had a great day at work yesterday
His bosses seem to like having him “on the team”
Do they have to do payroll taxes for an un-paid minor intern?
Does this infringe on the child labor laws?
My muffler is not loud, but I paid for it like it is. Oh wait, that’s wifey’s muffler
Mt. Dew is the nectar of the gods – not that I’m drinking it, but I’m thinking about it
A whole bunch
6 Comments:
Little man is having a great day at work today also. You forgot to mention that he's a manager. Yes, he bosses & delegates well.
Mimma:
Well, I just assumed that everyone knew Little Man was going into a unpaid internship management position.
Dustin:
I have a bad relationship with the caffeine. Fully leaded Dew is now off my radar. I have been making do (get it?) with the caffeine free Dew. It is much like methadone...
Wow--I haven't had a MT Dew in years!!!
I traded in sugar and caffeine for straight alcohol years ago.
You used "lifeless husk" to describe Akron. Therefore, you can not use it again to describe paper. You're slipping...
NYM:
Alcohol and I do not really agree anymore. Alcohol is all, "Come out and party." and I all like, "Dude, give it a rest. I am tired." and alcohol is like, "Man, I don't even know who you are anymore." And I'm all like "zzzzzzzzzzzzz."
Kim:
Are you denying that Akron is a lifeless husk? cause it is.
I also noticed that you used the verb "to use" twice in 2 sentences. Who is slipping now?
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