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The big reason that visiting with family sucks is that no matter how emotionally healthy one is on their own, when placed into their family of origin dynamic, there is always some regressing. Always
Old survival methods kick in and healthy behavior goes flying out the window to be hastily replaced with "I just gotta get through this in one piece" behavior. For me (at its worst), this means a whole bunch of shutting down, to where the only feelings left are those of hunger and physical discomfort. Most likely I will just be a bit short with the ones I love the most and be entirely way to sensitive about what is going on around my little one. When I am around family and large crowds of marauding barbarians, I tend to get a little over-protective of the boy.
For the day after Turkey Day I will be seeing my parents, my brother, his 2 kids and his new wife. It will be a mildly enjoyable day, but more likely, chock full of apprehension and dread. My brother's kids are good kids, just amazingly neglected. One seems to have resignedly moved himself to the background, while the other has been doing everything he can to get noticed (good or bad). My brother is incredibly indecisive, and has a difficult time thinking for himself as well as making decisions. His wife is just now realizing what she has married into, so she often seems the deer in head-lights to some of my family's behavior. My parents are 2 dreadfully unhappy people. They are good people, but are just not nice people. Anything they do not understand is belittled, and they do not understand a whole bunch. Therefore, they do belittle a whole bunch. The easiest way for them to feel better about themselves is to tear down others.
Therefore it sucks and equates to Hell and/or Purgatory. Whether I visit them or they visit me.
Old survival methods kick in and healthy behavior goes flying out the window to be hastily replaced with "I just gotta get through this in one piece" behavior. For me (at its worst), this means a whole bunch of shutting down, to where the only feelings left are those of hunger and physical discomfort. Most likely I will just be a bit short with the ones I love the most and be entirely way to sensitive about what is going on around my little one. When I am around family and large crowds of marauding barbarians, I tend to get a little over-protective of the boy.
For the day after Turkey Day I will be seeing my parents, my brother, his 2 kids and his new wife. It will be a mildly enjoyable day, but more likely, chock full of apprehension and dread. My brother's kids are good kids, just amazingly neglected. One seems to have resignedly moved himself to the background, while the other has been doing everything he can to get noticed (good or bad). My brother is incredibly indecisive, and has a difficult time thinking for himself as well as making decisions. His wife is just now realizing what she has married into, so she often seems the deer in head-lights to some of my family's behavior. My parents are 2 dreadfully unhappy people. They are good people, but are just not nice people. Anything they do not understand is belittled, and they do not understand a whole bunch. Therefore, they do belittle a whole bunch. The easiest way for them to feel better about themselves is to tear down others.
Therefore it sucks and equates to Hell and/or Purgatory. Whether I visit them or they visit me.
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