the Blogaversary numbered 4

For the blogaversary, here are the first sentences to some of my 818 posts. Here is almost all of year 1.

I just want to get this thing started, more to come later.
I didn’t know the devil wore white cotton socks.
I do not understand the Discovery Channel anymore.
I am soooo happy that the end of the political commercials is upon us.
I have absolutely nothing to write about today.
At least I wish something witty would come this way.
I am so flipping tired. Asthma is a horrible horrible thing.
In yesterday’s entry I made fun of Alabamians.
They say that some of one’s best friends are made during college, and they are right, whomever “they” are.
The big reason that visiting with family sucks is that no matter how emotionally healthy one is on their own, when placed into their family of origin dynamic, there is always some regressing.
I am always amazed by the horrible glut of post Thanksgiving deterious.
I so do not want to be at work today.
So, I have been working rather diligently today to get tons of work accomplished, and therefore, almost forgot to “blog” away.
“How’s your workload right now?”
There is not much going on different today.
Okay, here is the problem, “Healthy Request lunches are typically tasty frozen lunches, but their proportion size is either for a 7 year old girl or a European.”
Typically we have to open my parent’s gifts to us weeks prior to Christmas so as not to ruin the day of Christmas for me or my wife.
Okay, I get it now, Garfield is a fat cat.
Remember tales of people getting drunk at parties and telling off bosses, or employee hook-ups that used to supposedly happen during the company holiday festivities?
Yesterday it snowed.
It is a tradition for my wife and I to exchange letters to each other for Christmas.
I think the best actor of all time is easily Michael Caine.
Ah, the New Year’s tradition that everyone dreads.
Oddly enough, there is no difference today than there really was on Friday.
It has been a wild past 3 days.
I am sure the kicking will come soon.
Cheese is a crutch for most mediocre cooking.
I never truly thought that I was wicked, but it turns out that I most likely am.
For some this is a holiday, for others, like myself, it is a Monday.
Have you ever had one of those headaches that feel like tiny elves are trying to dig out of you skull using dull and inappropriate digging equipment?
This blog would be much more memorable if I had an exciting life, but I do not.
Little Man is doing better today.
My dentist is a great dentist, I just think they are a bit overzealous or something.
Right off the bat, I want to let everyone know out there in cyber land know that I have good clean teeth.
Cleaning up just doesn’t mean as much as it used to.
So, in a conversation that I had with a friend earlier this morning, he came up with one of the worst names I have ever heard.
I thought of a topic yesterday afternoon, and them promptly forgot it.
I cannot stand the word “ointment” written or spoken, but especially spoken.
Lately, there just have not been the “opportunities” to spout out tons of vitriolic prose due to a single occurrence.
Everybody feels better when they are making fun of someone.
The word “Wednesday” is derived from Nordic words meaning “Wodan’s Day” or the day named after the King of the Norse gods.
Okay, since I have a 1.583333 year old, I have the wonderful pleasure of watching young children’s programming.
I am completely out of it today.
How’s that for a title?
Caesar was an idiot.
It is true: I hate people.
Top o’tha morning to ya, and all that crap.
I guess that makes me a kind of ass.
So much of my life is wasted watching “progress bars” in computer programs.
Not sure if everyone out there in cyberland even knows about the joys that are grape sodas.
Okay, 3 things to cover today.
My, my, my, it is an absolutely gorgeous day outside.
I am not known for being a maven of style and trendiness but I think I have a lock on some trends.
It does not seem to get any easier.
Anotrher day, another dollar… hopefully at least.
Turns out the little one is a bit grumpy today.
Again, I am going for totally non-Joycian stream of consciousness baby!
I have been asked a few times by people who read this diatribe of mine, “Hey, where do you come up with this insightfully witty claptrap you call your blog?”
To quote the Tick (did I mention I loved cartoons), “The problem with sanity, is that it is a one trick pony. Now with insanity, the sky is the limit.”
I should have gotten my lazy butt out of bed on Monday.
So, we confirmed it over the weekend.
The floodgates have opened.
When one is heavily sleep deprived one notices that it really is the little things that can really piss you off.
There are a myriad of things that one should never admit to another human being.
Other than assistant crack whore, I cannot think of a job that gets less respect than a substitute teacher (well maybe a social worker).
I got my driver’s license renewed this morning.
Little one did not sleep well last night.
The little one has to have sticky sweet secretion glands near the palms of his hands.
On the way to lunch yesterday (Mmmmmm Arby’s) the driver of the car I was in mentioned that the hippopotamus does not have any natural enemies.
Nothing makes oneself feel better about oneself than surrounding oneself with people worse off than oneself.
There are many things one should not do in a men’s restroom.
Sew, Eye was challenged today too right inn as many homophones as Aye could.
Insomnia sucks.
I abhor going to the dentist.
Dear Sir, I realize the discomfort that the dried mucous membrane in one’s nostrils can cause, for I too have dried snot in my nasal passage.
Allergies suck.
Time got away from me today.
How was my weekend?
Due to Spammy McSpamson from Spammiesburough, KY, I have changed the setting on my blog for comments.
So I noticed over the weekend that the Columbus Zoo is devoid of hippos.
Okay, so the “birdy” finger on my right hand has a hangnail issue.
Okay, I have much to chat about today, so I would like it if you guys kept quiet and tlistened throughout the entirety of my post.
Turns out that the professional parents do not like me.
It is about time someone wiped the smile off of Jokey Smurf’s face.
Thank the gods for whoever in my section decided to cut the muzak cables in my area of this infernal building.
I offer my apologies to the cat on Crestview Road Friday evening.
Ah, the blogaversary, excuse me, the first annual blogaversary.

To recap
That was a recap
Sheesh, what do you people want from me?