printer document station

Whilst pondering the intricacies and delights folded within the mantle of vanilla cream of a vanilla bean cheesecake, it came to me that I should probably be paying better attention to the claxon call warnings coming from the printer document station that I was idly waiting upon. It seems that if there were 10 places within a printer document station that a paper might (how do you kids say it these days? Get…) jammed this over-achieving printer document station had discovered at least 2 more.

Whence the printer stopped beeping incessantly, I opened hidden compartment upon hidden compartment, turning handles and sliding drawers merrily collecting paper as I went. Tra la Tra la. After stacking the eighth piece of mangled paper from the guts of the printer document station, I asked myself in a surprisingly outside voice, “Sweet Jeebus, can there be any more of this paper jammed (as the kids these days say) in this god forsaken printer document station?” Alas an answer from the heavens was not forthcoming. An answer from a co-worker who is clearly a ninja due to his soft footfalls and silent ability to creep up on me up while my elbows are within a printer's document station's guts was forthcoming.

“I know, this thing has been jamming all day long.”
“Not like Bob Marley though, right?”
“Who”
Damned kids! ... was that out loud? No? Good “Oh, a musician from the days of yore.”
“You’re weird, dude.”
“Wow, they said ‘dude’ when I was a kid”
“I’m getting out of here, dude, and calling IT before you break something. You freak.”

I set back to the task at hand. Un-jamming the printer document station. I was now up to 10 sheets of paper from 8 different locations. There were 3 doors open, five drawers exposed, and still 2 more jams to go. Finally moving onto the last trouble spot as indicated on the little screen embedded on the face of the printer document station, I knew I had only moments (hours) before the IT clean-up squad made me quit the quest. One final plastic tray and the day would be mine!

The last jam area on the printer document station was the gigantic paper drawer feed mechanism. The printer document station tried to stuff 5 pages through the feed mechanism simultaneously. For those of you out there in cyberland who don’t know what that means, it means… it means that… well, it means that the printer document station will go down with a paper jam issue.

To recap:
We fly out Friday morning
Little Man is excited to go
Gorgeous weather today
It is time to go home
Mimma is spending the evening with Little Man to get her fix before her weeklong withdrawal
That means Wifey and I will have a “date”
That means I need to get the heck out of dodge
Listening to Disconnect by the Rollins Band off of Weight