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Since my falling out with organized Churches in 1996, I have not been exactly keen on the whole Christianity thang. Therefore I have been pleasantly boycotting organized Christianity for the better part of 11 years now. The 4 years previous, I just didn’t go that often, but now it is a full on boycott, and let me tell you, Christianity has truly been feeling the weight behind my boycott. I think it will cave soon. Don’t hate the playah, people. Hate the Game.
Well, in my aversion to churchihood, I have not really been leading Little Man down the path of Christendom. That is to say that I have not really informed him of any dogmatic tradition. This is a point of consternation with Wifey. She feels that Little Man should get a solid grounding in religion and spirituality, and I feel that would only put Little Man in contact with people who use religion as a crutch to feel better about themselves because they aren’t doomed to Hell like those poor bastards that don’t think just like they do and goose-step to the same tune… (editor’s note: Umm… We had to truncate the last rant back to only a few lines. 3 paragraphs of vitriol was deemed to be a bit much. Needless to say, it seems the author has some un-resolved Christianity issues. Thanks – the management)
To make a long story short, because of Little Man’s lack of Christianic exposure, he calls the son of God, “G.” Yep, Jesus has been truncated to “G.” This is something I can completely get behind. It makes prayer much more street. In fact, I would love to see more doctrine modernized to take in the flavor of “G.”
Sermon on the Mount (or the B-attitudes): G was all like,
“Listen Bitches. Props to the Juiceless, for they will get the keys.
“Shout out to the Sad, comfort’s on the way.”
“Shout out to the Meek. BOO! Mother Fucker! Just kiddin’ You guys are gonna do alright…”
To recap:
Wow, Little Man misses Momma in the mornings
So do I, but he gets a bit frustrated at Papa’s morning ineptitude
I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?
That is a rhetorical question
I don’t want your answers
I already know what they are going to be
20 Questions Tuesday will be all about “Time” tomorrow
“Tomorrow” is a human construct that will never actually occur
Words associated with the future sense of time are logically confusing
Well, in my aversion to churchihood, I have not really been leading Little Man down the path of Christendom. That is to say that I have not really informed him of any dogmatic tradition. This is a point of consternation with Wifey. She feels that Little Man should get a solid grounding in religion and spirituality, and I feel that would only put Little Man in contact with people who use religion as a crutch to feel better about themselves because they aren’t doomed to Hell like those poor bastards that don’t think just like they do and goose-step to the same tune… (editor’s note: Umm… We had to truncate the last rant back to only a few lines. 3 paragraphs of vitriol was deemed to be a bit much. Needless to say, it seems the author has some un-resolved Christianity issues. Thanks – the management)
To make a long story short, because of Little Man’s lack of Christianic exposure, he calls the son of God, “G.” Yep, Jesus has been truncated to “G.” This is something I can completely get behind. It makes prayer much more street. In fact, I would love to see more doctrine modernized to take in the flavor of “G.”
Sermon on the Mount (or the B-attitudes): G was all like,
“Listen Bitches. Props to the Juiceless, for they will get the keys.
“Shout out to the Sad, comfort’s on the way.”
“Shout out to the Meek. BOO! Mother Fucker! Just kiddin’ You guys are gonna do alright…”
To recap:
Wow, Little Man misses Momma in the mornings
So do I, but he gets a bit frustrated at Papa’s morning ineptitude
I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?
That is a rhetorical question
I don’t want your answers
I already know what they are going to be
20 Questions Tuesday will be all about “Time” tomorrow
“Tomorrow” is a human construct that will never actually occur
Words associated with the future sense of time are logically confusing
Labels: Little Man, mad ramblings
5 Comments:
You're not going to hell. At least not because of THIS blog.
I'm sure that somewhere in your authority hating mind you understand that true Christianity has nothing to do with churchiness. Go take a walk and celebrate the Lord.
Done proselytizing.
Love ya!
Sounds like someone has been reading to Little Man from the Da Jesus Book.
As church and the like, I go every Sunday...but just for the muffins. :)
Mom:
If I were a serf (or any other kind of vassal), I would love to take a walk celebrating the Lord.
Dustin:
at least you aren't there to listen to the sanctimonious (editor's note: We are sorry to interrupt this comment, but really it is just another rant)... mmmm muffins
I don't believe in organized religion either. Kirk knows the name "Jesus" purely due to Depeche Mode. Sometimes I wonder if he needs the congregational aspect of youth group and whatnot but we'll go to the Unitarians instead of Christians when it comes to that.
Belsum:
We went for the whole UU angle, but the local congregation is not that celebratory or even accepting of children. Our congregation seemed to be there for the intellectual exercise of being spiritual.
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