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Wednesday is like the continental divide of the work week. Everything on the calendar to the left of Wednesday flows into the unhappy category of “beginning of the week” while everything to the right of Wednesday flows into the “end of the week.” Typically, right about now I want my week to flow inexorably to the weekend. That is the typical, but this weekend is anything but typical. This is a weekend that involves… my parents.
Let me state something to just set up the background information. I love my parents. My parents are good people. My parents are doing the best they can in this world with the tools that they have. My parents have a bunch to offer.
Okay now that I have given the background information, here are some other facts about my parents. They are not happy people, for whatever reason they have never learned how to be happy. I have my theories about this, but that is a post for another day. Due to this lack of happiness (I wouldn’t go so far to say that they are always “unhappy.” Often… but not always) they tend to be not nice people. They tend to be very critical of others and very negative. Also, since they are not happy, they tend to not want to do things (there are other reasons for their lack of doing, but, again, a post for another day… maybe). This lack of doing things and this criticalness of others blend mercilessly into a cocktail of being critical of whoever and wherever they are visiting even if it doesn’t really make that much sense. In fact this lack of sense making criticalness is one of the main reasons that Wifey and I don’t like them around. They just don’t make any damn sense.
For example, in 2001 when they came to visit us in our fine little neighborhood of Clintonville, my mom asked (and asked in all seriousness), “This place isn’t named after Bill Clinton, is it? That man is a disgusting pig.” Regardless of one’s political leanings, this is a stupid question born of unhappiness. So this is what we have to look forward to this weekend as my parents pass through. There will be criticism of all. This criticism will be especially harsh if it the object of criticism is one they do not understand, and there are many things they do not understand.
To recap:
Blast from the past: “Are your hamburgers juicy?”
Everyone has embarrassing quotes from their parents
If I were the ruler of a nation it would be named Esoterica
My armed forces would be the Minutiae
There would be many laws of the land but most of them would be obscure
So far the votes for Thursday are:
Digital Thursday aka A: 5.5
Written Thursday aka B: .5
Theory Thursday aka C: 2
No Theme Thursday aka D: 3
With 11 votes tallied so far including the faux Little Man
The poll will be over at 7 pm EST tonight
I look forward to seeing what Thursday is picked
Let me state something to just set up the background information. I love my parents. My parents are good people. My parents are doing the best they can in this world with the tools that they have. My parents have a bunch to offer.
Okay now that I have given the background information, here are some other facts about my parents. They are not happy people, for whatever reason they have never learned how to be happy. I have my theories about this, but that is a post for another day. Due to this lack of happiness (I wouldn’t go so far to say that they are always “unhappy.” Often… but not always) they tend to be not nice people. They tend to be very critical of others and very negative. Also, since they are not happy, they tend to not want to do things (there are other reasons for their lack of doing, but, again, a post for another day… maybe). This lack of doing things and this criticalness of others blend mercilessly into a cocktail of being critical of whoever and wherever they are visiting even if it doesn’t really make that much sense. In fact this lack of sense making criticalness is one of the main reasons that Wifey and I don’t like them around. They just don’t make any damn sense.
For example, in 2001 when they came to visit us in our fine little neighborhood of Clintonville, my mom asked (and asked in all seriousness), “This place isn’t named after Bill Clinton, is it? That man is a disgusting pig.” Regardless of one’s political leanings, this is a stupid question born of unhappiness. So this is what we have to look forward to this weekend as my parents pass through. There will be criticism of all. This criticism will be especially harsh if it the object of criticism is one they do not understand, and there are many things they do not understand.
To recap:
Blast from the past: “Are your hamburgers juicy?”
Everyone has embarrassing quotes from their parents
If I were the ruler of a nation it would be named Esoterica
My armed forces would be the Minutiae
There would be many laws of the land but most of them would be obscure
So far the votes for Thursday are:
Digital Thursday aka A: 5.5
Written Thursday aka B: .5
Theory Thursday aka C: 2
No Theme Thursday aka D: 3
With 11 votes tallied so far including the faux Little Man
The poll will be over at 7 pm EST tonight
I look forward to seeing what Thursday is picked
Labels: Family
5 Comments:
if you need someone your parents can feel critical/judgemental of, i am happy to volunteer. nothing like a lesbian family with a messy house in a questionable neighborhood. we could even leave some cat feces on the floor if you think that would help. just trying to make myself useful. xo.
I realized at some point that my Mom equates criticizm with helping, so now I just wait for her to finish, and then respond with something like, "Can I get you a drink?"
Atmikha
M:
Thanks for volunteering. I don't think it will be necessary though.
Atmikha:
You might be on to something...
Wait, Clinton has his own town in OH?
Next you're gonna tell me there's a Reagansberg, WA.
Dustin:
No such place
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