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One thing that I often forget is the fact that Wifey and I are an inter-racial couple. There are many reasons for this memory lapse, the main reason being that in Columbus, we don’t get stared at like we are circus freak shows on display for our aberrant union. It is rare indeed when we go out for dinner and are the only inter-racial couple/family in whatever restaurant we happen to be going to. The other reasons tend to come from my own whacked out philosophy and weird ideas about humanity, but today I am not going to get into the race politics in the U.S. more than saying, sometimes racial stuff comes up with my family from time to time. Granted, I get to say all this from a really privileged point of view though, being an adult white male in the U.S. between the ages of 25 and 45, and since I am in the power majority of the US (I am “the Man,” so to speak) it is very beneficial for me to say I don’t feel like dealing with the race issue. That way I can hire another white guy and feel okay about it.
Anyway… all that crap being said, this weekend was one of those moments where our inter-racialality was brought into sharp focus. There are places in the world where my family does not feel safe (hello, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, etc…), and there are places where we just don’t feel comfortable. This weekend was one of those discomfort escapades.
Wifey and I went to a wonderful wedding this weekend. It was a nice low-key affair with some great music and sweet and sour meatballs. The event was about 2 hours to the southwest of Columbus. I won’t mention town names because I don’t want to start a blog of name-calling (unless it is about making fun of Alabama that is a different story all together.). After the wedding, Wifey and I decided that we were going to grab a bite to eat. We went to the local mall to find some food. With Wifey’s gall bladder issues and recent tumor discovery we have found that fast food is really difficult for her to stomach, so we eschewed the food court and went to one of the restaurants inside the mall. As we walked though the mall to find our restaurant, I started wondering if Wifey’s tumor was visible. People were just starting at the 2 of us like… like… like they could see Wifey’s more than golf ball sized tumor pulsing with purple light (I am not sure it pulses with purple light, but it makes it scarier in my mind’s eye, so I go with it). Wifey had to stare down a few people on the walk to the restaurant. It is funny, usually when people stare and we confront them with a return stare (Wifey is better at this than me), they usually look away pretty quickly. There is always at least one 65+ year old white guy who will just keep staring, so offended by our union that he cannot look away.
The wait was only 15 to 30 minutes, so we didn’t forego the mall eatery and just head to a Bob Evan’s (which was plan B, ‘cause we are “down on the farm,” yo!). We did decide to wait outside of the restaurant since that is where the empty benches were. It was alarming to see all the people come in and stare at us sharing a bench in the mall, and to realize that we were only 2 hrs away from home. Again, there were many a person caught staring at the spectacle of inter-racialocity. Our inter-racialness probably burned holes in their retinas and corrupted their very souls. I like to think we left that mall with many a person tainted by our un-recommended and looked down upon, yet legal, union.
To recap:
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about “letters”
Little Man likes wearing shorts
We found a new restaurant for him on Friday
He likes the steak nachos with black beans and no cheese, guacamole, or sour cream
Come on people! A white man with a biracial/black woman should not be considered so weird!
I have all sorts of rose thorns in my left hand
The right one just has scratches
I have to work out tonight
Yeeee-uck
Anyway… all that crap being said, this weekend was one of those moments where our inter-racialality was brought into sharp focus. There are places in the world where my family does not feel safe (hello, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, etc…), and there are places where we just don’t feel comfortable. This weekend was one of those discomfort escapades.
Wifey and I went to a wonderful wedding this weekend. It was a nice low-key affair with some great music and sweet and sour meatballs. The event was about 2 hours to the southwest of Columbus. I won’t mention town names because I don’t want to start a blog of name-calling (unless it is about making fun of Alabama that is a different story all together.). After the wedding, Wifey and I decided that we were going to grab a bite to eat. We went to the local mall to find some food. With Wifey’s gall bladder issues and recent tumor discovery we have found that fast food is really difficult for her to stomach, so we eschewed the food court and went to one of the restaurants inside the mall. As we walked though the mall to find our restaurant, I started wondering if Wifey’s tumor was visible. People were just starting at the 2 of us like… like… like they could see Wifey’s more than golf ball sized tumor pulsing with purple light (I am not sure it pulses with purple light, but it makes it scarier in my mind’s eye, so I go with it). Wifey had to stare down a few people on the walk to the restaurant. It is funny, usually when people stare and we confront them with a return stare (Wifey is better at this than me), they usually look away pretty quickly. There is always at least one 65+ year old white guy who will just keep staring, so offended by our union that he cannot look away.
The wait was only 15 to 30 minutes, so we didn’t forego the mall eatery and just head to a Bob Evan’s (which was plan B, ‘cause we are “down on the farm,” yo!). We did decide to wait outside of the restaurant since that is where the empty benches were. It was alarming to see all the people come in and stare at us sharing a bench in the mall, and to realize that we were only 2 hrs away from home. Again, there were many a person caught staring at the spectacle of inter-racialocity. Our inter-racialness probably burned holes in their retinas and corrupted their very souls. I like to think we left that mall with many a person tainted by our un-recommended and looked down upon, yet legal, union.
To recap:
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about “letters”
Little Man likes wearing shorts
We found a new restaurant for him on Friday
He likes the steak nachos with black beans and no cheese, guacamole, or sour cream
Come on people! A white man with a biracial/black woman should not be considered so weird!
I have all sorts of rose thorns in my left hand
The right one just has scratches
I have to work out tonight
Yeeee-uck
Labels: Family, History of SRH, mad ramblings, Wifey
14 Comments:
Boy, that must be tough -- not to mention frustrating in the 21st freakin' century. The worst we have to deal with is people wondering whether combining an English/Scottish guy and an Irish/German woman counts as Batting the Northwestern Europe Cycle.
(Hmmm . . . no, French. We need French. And some Welsh wouldn't hurt.)
What, no violent response or flippping of birds from you????? (sigh)Must say: I'm a bit disappointed, sir!
Ya know what though? You just go on "tainting" the hell out of their tiny little pea-brains and enjoying the hell out of it.
Might wanna reconsider moving up here to Jersey though. You wouldn't even get a second glance hereabout. Nothing personal, but a lot of them Red State folks scare the crap outta me . . .
Later!
You should each wear t-shirts with arrows pointing to each other while it reads "and yes, i have sex with him/her" just to see a few of 'those' people pass out.
It should be 'those' people that get stared at. You are the normal ones in my mind.
I have many many many friends in inter-racial marriages, families...no difference to me.
But, you are likely weird for other reasons. Right?
hi s. :)
so maybe it's just that you're both so incredibly HOTT that people can't help but look. you know, because of the HOTTNESS. that's why they stare at T extra long. b/c of her intense hott-ness.
well, i'd like to think that was why they were staring.
*sigh*
B:
This experience doesn't even hit the tip of the "tough" iceberg. This weekend just reminded me of how relatively progresive Columbus is compared to other cities in Ohio.
J.A.Coppinger:
In the city we were in the local constabulary has a penchant for beating up on people with brown skin. I would rather not incite an incident and watch my wife get the beat down by the po-po, the five-oh, johhny law, the fuzz.
Nancy:
It is good idea, but there is one problem with it.
1. No one would believe that Hawt Wifey and I would have any sort of sexual relations.
For different reasons. The gawkers wouldn't think a nice white man like myself would be willing to publicly announce my daliance with someone lacking in the whiteness department. The people who did not have an issue with an inter-racial union wouldn't believe that the Hawtness that is Wifey would deign to touch me.
Karen:
Welcome to the old blogarooney.
I know the stare of the oglers, for Wifey, she is Hawt due to her hawtness. Alas and alack their stares this weekend were not of the ogling kind.
Wait a second, did I just say that I wanted people to ogle my wife?
This makes me angry, SRH. It really does. I have had a few issues like this myself. My husband is of Maltese descent. You wouldn't believe some of the obvious looks and outright hassles we had to deal with after 9/11. We haven't been to an airport since and I get a little nervous when he comes with me to the courthouse on business. He was refused entry once because he wasn't carrying his birth certificate. He has had his pockets searched and been questioned for having fingernail clippers on his keyring. He was waiting for me and our daughters one time at the Tennessee Aquarium and someone called security. For quite a while I was worried when he had to go out into town without his obviosly white and all-American wife. He's not a terrorist for God's sake! He's from Detroit!!
i don't *think* you were saying that you *wanted* them to ogle her, but that you acknowledge that she WILL be ogled, due to her hottness. it's just a fact, and you seem to have accepted it.
yeah, i realize it wasn't the reason they were ogling... and that makes me sad. it has got to be awfully maddening.
Lynn:
911 is a whole different ball of wax. I really feel for anyone with Middle Eastern features in America today. I think that people easily forget that of the top 3 terrorist attack on US soil, one was perpetrated by a blond haired blue-eyed self described fundamentalist Christian from the middle of the US.
Also, I wouldn't announce too loudly that your husband is from Detroit. I mean, come on, its Detroit. Nobody likes Detroit.
Man, that is so 20th century. Growing up out in the Hawaiian countryside I was always stared at, or surruptitiously brushed up against (do they want to touch us for luck, or to find out if white skin has a different consistency?). On the relatively rare occasion when my whole family went to a restaurant (there are 10 of us) people would actually get up and move. We make them nervous, especially the old people.
If a boy like you, with your party balloon coloured hair ever went to the Philippines, or anywhere in Asia actually, you would really learn the meaning of the word "Freak," and everyone would feel sorry for your beautiful wife,inadvertently being trapped into a marriage with a soulless Demon.
Screw 'em.
Interestingly, I was in a city a mere couple hours outside of Columbus with my then-boyfriend and they will also stare at a white man/half-Asian woman couple as well. I wonder how they reacted when Jungle Fever came out?
Karen:
Don't know how you snuck in there, but whatever.
Yes, I have definitely come to accept a certain amount of wife ogling. Heck, sometimes, I even ogle her.
Zulhai:
I would love if those who thought they were "normal" could be placed in a situation where they would not be the "norm." That is the first time I have been referred to as a "souless demon." Sadly, I do not think it will be my last.
Allrileyedup:
Pretty much it is staring if it is White + anything else. Kind of sad really.
Damn, missed a day, but I still want to comment here. First off, Karen's comment was my first thought (wifey IS hawt). Second, I am definitely interpretting your comments as permission to oggle wifey (thank you very much! Now I can take our hot platonic relationship to the next level: hot platonic stalking). And third, at least it's it technically legal for you and wife to sit on a bench and hold hands. My partner and I could still be drug behind a pickup truck and left to die on a fence.
Anon:
I wanted to make sure that I made the distinction about legal v illegal. It really pisses me the fuck off that you are denied that right, but that is a story for another time.
I am slightly disturbed that you wish to platonically stalk Wifey. I don't blame you, but I still find it mildly disturbing.
i don't think people were staring because of the inter-racial thing...
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