Ailing Wednesday

I am at home with the sick Little Man today. Nothing is majorly wrong this time. This one seems like it is a pretty typical illness. Other than being really head congested and mildly fevered (really mild), Little Man seems to be his normal rambunctious self. He is making messes and running around. Of course, instead of it being a continuous blur of motion this seems to be more in fits and starts. He runs around for a few minutes and then has to take a break… you know, like a normal human.

I just wish I had more PTO (Paid Time Off for those of you with less acronymy bnefits packages) in my bank so that taking a day with him didn’t cut my PTO by 10%. That is an expensive day off. I had been working for a day off this week, but it was supposed to be Friday. Now my PTO bank is all shot to Hell. Oh well. Thems the break when you have a little one in the house. Wifey will be taking the day off tomorrow if the little one is still ailing, while I go in and get caught up with work as best I can.

Not much else to talk about really. In fact, if I don’t get off the computer soon, Little Man is going to force me into watching trains on YouTube whether he is having a breathy or not.

Cheers!

To recap:
Man I need some caffeine
We don’t have any in the house
If Little Man is up to it, we might get some furnace filters today
And some sort of caffeinated soft drink
So far this has not triggered any asthma stuff
But it is only a matter of time
How’s that for a happy outlook on life
Actually, we are surprised that it has not progressed as of yet
Turns out Little Man likes a vegan lasagna
We doctored up the vegan lasagna with some pork sausage
He can have anything vegan, we typically add meat though
Because, at our core, Casa De SRH is a house of carnivores
Great, now I’m hungry
Why am I still typing?
Oh, yeah, so I don’t have to play trains with a sick, cranky, willful kid

20 Questions Tuesday: 31 - 80's Music

Ah, sweet memories. Yesterday’s post made me think that I should do a 20 Questions revolving around 80’s music. I love me some 80’s music, but who doesn’t like 80’s music. Anyway… Thanks this week to Lsig, JW, ACW, Lord Pithy, and Wifey for questions today.

On to the questions!

1 Two bands enter, one band leaves...who've you got in a Bangles vs. The Go-Gos cage match?
Go-Gos all the way. The Bangles were never a punk band. ‘Nuff said…. Although, I am pretty sure that Joan Jett could have taken out all 9 of them single handedly (and by that I mean with one hand tied behind her back). She is some ass bad stuff!

2 Was Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet" album really as good as I remember it being?
No, no it was not. I never understood the mass appeal of this album or of the band. They were okay, but never that good.

3 Does anyone rival Lionel Richie as the preeminent baladeer of the 80s?
I don’t think so, but Mr. Richie is not someone that I am abundantly knowledgeable about so I will turn this question over to Wifey for final answer. Wifey?

That’s an interesting question. I will firstly admit my bias in that I am a huge Lionel Richie fan; therefore, my stance is that no one ever, in the history of the world is as good at balladeering as Mr. Richie.

That being said, Kenny Rogers did give him a run for his money. If you’ll recall , Lionel wrote Kenny’s big hit, “Lady” and they went on to collaborate a bit.

So in fact, Lionel was responsible for Kenny’s success as a soft sounds crooner, thereby remaining the penultimate love song maverick of the decade.

Thank you, Wifey.

4 The 80s was the era of Michael Jackson as an actual pop musician. What the heck happened?
The whole of the Jackson family is damaged goods. Many people forget that Latoya is also part of the fam. Who knew that MJ was destined to go nuts? I certainly didn’t.

5 So, Madonna. What accounts for her transformation from 80s pop-tart to enduring musical icon? Why her and not...a dozen other chicks from back then?
Madonna, above all else, is a brilliant business person/marketer. She was able to capitalize on trends and re-invent herself in the most opportune moments. She was able to take the slightly passé trends of the avant guard and turn them into pop culture trends for the masses (Like Vogue). Other female musicians of the era, were not as savvy as Madonna and relied almost solely on their musical talents. Many of them still have quite a following and many of them are still producing very high quality music, but none of them became as iconic.

6 Did video REALLY kill the radio star?
Sadly, yes, the Buggles were on to something. Radio was always the medium for talent. It did not matter what that talent looked like. Even today, many a DJ is not a pretty face. Videos almost required the talent to look good too. There are boat lodes of not pretty talented people out there who just aren’t pretty. They will be relegated to the land of “studio singers.”

7 Who's hotter? the go-go's Belinda Carlisle, or the Bangles' Susanna Hoffs?
I am a Belinda fan although Hoffs ain’t no slouch.

8 Who was your favorite "Big Hair Metal" band? (Not that it makes any difference, cuz RATT was the GREATEST!!!)
I could go Round and Round about this all day with many different people. I am going to go with Anthrax.

9 How on earth did Menudo warrant their television program's airing here in the states?
I don’t know. I could see their show making it here today because there is more recognition amongst the TV scheduling people that there is more than a white demographic, but in the 80’s , I just don’t get it.

10 Where is Thomas Dolby?
Looking at his site? I would say California.

11 Why are the 80's the decade of the greatest music known to man?
This is a question that I often ask myself when I can’t sleep. What people think of when they think of 80’s music is the fun associated with that music. People also only remember the good music from the 80’s as well. There was some crap made in the 80’s, but nostalgia stations don’t play that crap.

12 What happened to Tawny Kitaen? She had sooo much promise (especially as the Future Mrs ACW)?
She’s in rehab…

13 Besides Men at Work - what other group are you embarrassed to have enjoyed? Loverboy? Duran Duran? Wham!? Missing Persons? Bow Wow Wow? Dio? Judas Priest? Cyndi Lauper? Christopher Cross? Flock of Seagulls? Human League? Cars? J. Geils Band? White Snake? White Lion? Great White? OMD? The Smiths? Husker Du?...
I think I have to go with Billy Idol. I love me some Vital Idol!

14 Do you have fond memories of going to the corner music store, browsing the rows upon rows of album, looking for the special import (you know the one with the colored vinyl)? Ah, Heaven...
I remember going to Turtles Records and Tapes with my brother while my mom did some at the Woolco and leafing through the 45’s. The first 45 he bought with his own money was Queen’s Another one Bites the Dust. We listened to that song over and over and over again. Good times indeed.

15 Describe the setting (where you were, who you were with, how many law enforcement officers were curently looking for you), the first time you heard "It's Raining Men."
I was sitting in a car with my brother, my uncle and 2 dozen puppies. We had just killed a snoring security guard so the puppies could have something to eat. It was a seven state manhunt involving the FBI, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, and Connecticut.

16 Tiiiiiiiiiiiiin roof?
Rusted

17 Aside from Swing, has there ever been a decade of happier music than the 80s?
I really don’t think so.

18 Describe your ideal 80s cover. (For instance, Anna Nicole singing "Take On Me.")
Hmmmm… I would love to hear the Cure’s Killing an Arab done by the newly re-united Rage Against the Machine. It is a political enough song that it could be in the realm of possibility. The absolutely ludicrous cover would be RATM covering the B-52’s Rock Lobster. Can you imagine Zach de la Rocha belting out:

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Oh that is the stuff dreams are made of.

19 Who was hotter and wore trash better: Pat Benatar in "We Are Young" or Cyndi Lauper in "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"?
Benatar wore it better, because that was not her “typical” look.

20. Did anyone every actually “park on the dance floor” or was Midnight Star simply making a pre-emptive public service announcement?
I believe, as this picture illustrates, someone, indeed, did park on the dance floor. Oddly enough, if my eyes do not decieve me, it was Midnight Star.


To recap:
I am jonesing for some 80’s music now
What’s you favorite color, baby?
Living Colour!
Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know what the city is getting
The crème de la crème of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner
Anything U2
Actually, RATM covering some U2 would be nice as well
I have Johnny Cash’s version of U2’s One, that is a pretty good cover too
Johnny Cash would not be good at a Cover 2 though
That’s a zone defense for American football, and well, Johnny Cash is dead

Go away, and don't come 'round here no more

It was a lark, I tell you, a lark. I never thought that it would end up how it did. It was good clean fun, just plain silliness really. I remember it as if it were yesterday… Okay, it was really only 2 weeks ago, but, wow, what a two weeks.

I had just picked up Little Man from G-ma D and G-pa R. He was getting settled into his car seat and getting ready for the journey home. Part of this ritual (other than me strapping into his five point harness of doom) is for Little Man to choose his music for the trip home. Well, this specific afternoon/early evening he chose the Bear in the Big Blue House CD. Not my favorite choice, but definitely not the worse thing he has made me endure. Anyway, to put Bear in, I had to take out the CD I had guiltily been listening to.

What that?
Oh, this is just the CD I was listening to when I was on my way here.
First Bear, then that.
Let me get this straight, since your use of articles, pronouns, adjectives, and adverbs is somewhat suspect. You want to listen to this CD after the theme song from Bear is over.
Uh-huh
Okay…

So, oddly enough, the theme song ends with the line, “So let’s begin.” The irony is not lost on me. No siree, it is not lost on me at all. Anyway… after Bear shuts his proverbial “yap” Little Man pipes up asking for “other CD.” Here we go, the mistake has been made, I slowly put the CD in and traveling as I know it changed forever at that point.

A little backstory: This “other” CD is the greatest hits from a band whose cassette was the first I ever purchased with my own money. This cassette was the cassette I wore out while reading countless comic books. This band is the band I listened to when I was reading my first real books. This band helped me through many a slow chapter of required novels with thick language and slower pacing for my English classes in middle school, junior high, and high school. There is a huge nostalgia reason for me to listen to this CD. Okay, back to the story.

The first drum beats and first notes from the saxophone hit and Little Man get a light in his eye that I have never seen before. The chorus plays, because most of the song is the chorus and he is repeating the lyrics as best he can. He is enthralled. He is absolutely loving this song. It is like coming home for him. He is wrapping himself in this song like it is a warm blanket. The song ends with plaintive lyrical hook that appears though out the song , and all I hear from Little Man is “Again! Again!”

Now whenever he gets in my car, and sometime before we get to my car he is asking for Who Can It Be Now by Men at Work. He is not soo keen on Down Under or It’s a Mistake and rarely listens to Be Good Johnny, but he goes nuts for Who Can it be Now.

To recap:
We painted the bed room this weekend
Now we need to move furniture back in
Next month I am trying out Diesel and Dust or Blue Sky Mining with Little Man
I would love to hear him singing Dreamworld
Then I will buy him a skinny tie and some parachute pants
Not sure what the 20 Questions topic will be for tomorrow yet, I will figure on out though
Before tomorrow
Probably immediately after I post this, um… post
I am real good with words

Dentistry

So, I went to the dentist today. It was time for my 6 month check-up. The appointments only come around twice a year, so I really don’t feel like I can be a “no-show.” I am not sure where my over-inflated sense of responsibility regarding dental professionals’ time arises from, but, clearly, it seems that I have some issues there. Not so with cable guys. I would make them wait for me if it weren’t in their power to leave and say I wasn’t there.

Anyway… I had my semi-annual dental appraisal and cleaning today. Turns out my teeth would be worth more if they were either whiter or were petrified sharks teeth. Anyway… the hygienist (her name I think was “Peppy”) mentioned that I had Tartar on 1or 2 of my teeth, and proceeded to tell me about her vacation last week whilst scraping and poking around in my mouth. It was really pleasant. I was not aware that Peppy’s mother did not like pancakes prior to this trip to the dentist, but as it turns out… Anyway… everything was going along swimmingly. Peppy was done with my cleaning and went to get the sign off by the Dentist.

Get this, my dentist wants me to floss more. What is up with that?!?! I almost politely explained that since I have a dental hygienist clean my teeth every 6 months, I felt that flossing was one of the time consuming things that might be able to be dropped while Little Man’s breathing was for shit. I nearly continued to explain that giving breathing treatments every 4 hours to a 3.6 year old doesn’t really leave that much quality time for me and my teeth. Then I would have continued by mentioning to her that while I was not able to do as much flossing as she would have liked (I think the acceptable amount of flossing for dentists is 2 hours a day of careful and methodical flossing with gilded silk ribbons), I was still able to keep cavities from forming and even not have any gingivitis going on. But before I could launch into my tirade against her dental advice, I remembered that she had tooth drills, and prudently decided to keep my mouth shut.

To recap:
I can’t believe it is only Thursday
It feels like Baldenday to me
You know the day after Emdleday
The 11 th day of the week
You know…
Man, it seems like this has been looooooong week
And it is only Thursday
I could floss every hour on the hour and my dentist would recommend that I floss more
Isn't it their job to clean my teeth anyway?
Road crews don't ask me to fill in potholes for them
I should have eaten a doughnut right before getting my teeth cleaned out if spite
Instead I ate a doughnut right before getting my teeth cleaned out of hunger
I think they should be glad it was not a broccoli filled doughnut
I think I should be happy it was not a broccoli filled doughnut
Instead of being “eaten” it would still be a neglected doughnut on a table that no one would eat
Like a Boston Cream doughnut
Those are horrible
Vanilla Cream FTW! Baby!
I could go on for days about doughnuts
‘Cause I love me some doughnuts
But I won’t
Have a great weekend everyone

Lessons

Today while going from the car to G-ma D's and G-pa R's Little Man learned himself a lesson. As I was getting him out of the car and putting his Little Man feet on the ground, I remarked, "Be careful, Little Man, it is slippery."

To which he responded with infinite incredulity, "It not slippery."

I retorted thusly, "Yes, it is you need to be careful, so hold my hand."

Again , I was met with belligerent skepticism laced with thinly veiled contempt, "No, it not slippery."

I riposted with an invitation for an experiment. "Little Man, why don't you just hold my hand and take 2 steps forward." For I had noticed the bane of many a driver's existence and many a walker's sore bum. I had espied a patch of the dreaded black ice on the parking lot.

Intrigued, Little Man tentatively took my hand and took 2 confident steps forward. Soon my holding his hand was the only reason he was still upright. The look I got was very memorable. It was a look of comprehension beyond mere understanding. It was a look of someone who has just had their world turned on end. It was a look that spoke volumes and yet the look really only said something simple. He then said more out of awe than respect, "It IS slippery."

He grasped my hand firmly and together we walked into G-ma D's and G-pa R's house cautiously.

To Recap:
At least for a period of, at most, 5 minutes some of the rules Little Man once thought arbitrary seemed reasonable
Deadline for some work shifted
I have tons to do and no time to do it
It is going to be a long night
I am sure by the time I was back in my car heading to work, Little Man forgot that I had been right about something... for once
Deadline is 9:30 am tomorrow and I have a good bit of work left
Cheers!

20 Questions: 30 - Exercise

Today’s 20 Questions revolve around the idea of exercise. Thanks this week go to Belsum, JACoppinger, the Em, ZingerZapper, Atmikha, and JW.

Disclaimer: Exercising is an absolute necessity for me. My joints necessitate a certain level of maintenance. I have a degenerative condition on my left knee that activates when I am woefully out of shape. This injury is due to my left leg overcompensating for my right leg’s crappy assed knee. I have hyper-extended the right knee on multiple occasions. I have strained the medial-collateral ligaments on my left knee. The degenerative condition on my left knee was stated to me as “patella-femoral agitation,” where basically my left knee-cap slams into my femur when I straighten my leg (unless I have been strengthening my leg, so it won’t occur: ergo the exercising). I have a bad ankle and a worse ankle. I can dislocate my right shoulder at Will (Will hates this). My elbows have a bit of hyper flexion. Finally, I am generally one of the poppiest, creakiest, crunchiest people I have ever met. Maintenance exercise is an absolute must for me, and at the tender age of 32, I really need to start paying serious attention to my skeletal/muscular health issues.

All that being said, I absolutely hate exercising. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I have mentioned before, and I will again. I. Hate. Exercising.

To the questions!

1 Does Tetris count as exercise?
Sadly, for some it is their only form of exercise. Does it elevate the heart-rate? Yes, as the levels fly by and the game speeds up there is definitely a bump in the heart rate. Does it keep the heart-rate elevated for more than 15 minutes? If one is very good at it, then “yes.”

2 What time of your life were you in the best shape and why?
It is a tie between High School and College. In HS I was in better cardio-vascular fitness due to HS Soccer, but in college a combination between the Club fencing team at Kent State and the group of guys I was lifting with, I was in better strength conditioning shape.

3 Health clubs vs home gyms vs exercise DVDs?
This is a matter of personal preference. I think I would like an exercise room in the house of my dreams, because I don’t really like people when I am exercising. As it is, a health club/gym seems to be the best bet for me. Exercise DVD’s are too easy to stop.

4 What’s your favorite aerobic activity that you’re totally embarrassed to admit you even know about?
That I know about? hmmmm… as long as we all understand that it is not something I have done, but that I merely know of its existence. I would have to say the “exerslide” or “bodyslide.” The fun of Olympic speed skating in your living room!

5 How come extreme runners always die of heart attacks?
That is a really good question. I think it has to do with the fact that they can wax eloquent about their “runner’s high” and “how good running makes them feel.” They tend to like running and they also tend to tell others how much it helps their life. Basically it is a Karma thing. I hate exercising, and that hate will sustain me for a long bile filled life. Stupid happy runners!

6 Did the devil invent sit-ups?
Yes. Sit-ups are the exercise of the The Dark One. Old Scratch likes crunches. Lucifer is known for his six-pack. Mephistopheles has a washboard. El Diabloà El Abdominal. I abhor ab workouts. Can’t stand them. All incarnations. All of them. Hate them.

7 Large women in spandex at the gym – your opinion?
Large anyone in spandex anywhere is really a no-no. Spandex as an outer covering for anyone is a questionable offense.

8 No pain no gain, or: “screw it, I’m watchin’ the tube!”
I am not much for pain. If it hurts whilst doing it, it stops getting done. Sadly, this does not apply to pain 30 minutes post exercising, and especially does not apply to pain 2 days after exercising. I do love me some tube watching though…

9 Weights or Cardio?
I do both. At least 30 minutes of cardio and then I head to the weights. The light weights, I just ran for 30 minutes people. Give me a break.

10 Stupidest exercise machine on the planet?
The exercise gliders/rockers/riders that hit the market in the mid 90’s. Those things are horrid. You cannot sit your way to a better health. I don’t think anyone is making them anymore, but you can find them at thrift stores and ebay aplenty (“just like new!”). I remember the commercials though… Bunch of in-shape women dry-humping exercise equipment. Oddly, when I worked at NordicTrack, we never sold one of their rocker machines to a guy. Were they mis-marketed or was it marketing genius?

11 Do you think it's possible for the people who really hate to work out to ever find a way to get in shape that they like?
I do believe there are exercises out there for everyone. Alas and alack, I have not found mine, unless World or Warcraft is considered “exercise.”

12 Why do you hate working out so much? Maybe it will explain why I hate it so much.
I hate working out because I find that I feel like I should be doing something better with my time. You know, like rearranging my sock drawer. I am not able to remove myself from the task at hand when I am exercising. When I am on the elliptical, I am acutely aware of time passing rather slowly. People who enjoy exercise, often lose themselves in the exercise and are surprised when they are finished. I have not found an exercise where I could do that. Exercise should be like a good movie. It should transport you away from your life for a short amount of time. If the exercise you are doing does not “take you away” it is more of a laborious chore than a past-time.

13 If you could repeatedly run over (on the bike) or stampede (while on the eliptical) any person’s body parts who would they be and what body part would you choose?
Sadly exercise bikes and ellipticals don’t move, so the person and their body parts could easily get away.

14 Do you glimpse at other fitness addicts (much like yourself) and compare your muscles?
Number 1: I am not an addict. I really could walk away from exercise really easily.
Number 2: I don’t compare myself to anyone whilst at the gym. I am incomparable.

15 Whatever happened to those gorgeous spandex, thong unitards? Man, they should bring those back. Nothing inspires like shiny fat rolls.
For laughs, you should do a Google image search on “unitard.”

16 If you were a knight, how would you train, and for how long every day?
I would do the elliptical with my cuirass, greaves, gauntlets, bevor, and sallet for at least 1 hour a day, then I would swing cinder blocks around on chains for another 30 minutes. Then I would spar with a dragon. Who wouldn’t want to spar with a dragon? If I were a knight that would be my job, so it could take up most of the day. No sit-ups though…

17 Why can't achieving and maintaining a "socially acceptable" body type-according to Men's Health, and Cosmopolitan magazines be easier?
Because our society is set up for convenience, and convenience is easy. Exercise, on the other hand, is not easy.

18 Why is it necessary for women to spend more time on their appearance going to exercise than their actual workout (That is, if they're really working out to begin with) -courtesy of the lovely wife
Honestly, I don’t understand that either, but I am partnered up and have been for a long time. After college, there are few places that people can really meet these days. I would assume that people who are getting all duded up for the gym are going for mate finding as well as exercise.

19 Why do I want to eat EVERYTHING that's HORRIBLE for me AFTER a workout?
Because you have earned it! What is the point of exercising if not to allow oneself to indulge in fatty goodness?

20 Worse form of torture to you during gym class- the wall peg things you had to pull yourself up with, or the rope that hung from the ceiling?
I was never able to do either, so I hated them both. Hated.

To recap:
I am sore today
Badly sore
Okay, not that bad, but I am still sore
Maybe I will do some sit-ups tonight
Maybe I won’t
Yeah, I won’t
Thinking about sit-ups is enough
Good thinking, Papa! (I love getting validation from a 3.6 year old)
Speaking of in-shape women dry-humping exercise equipment (Question 10), isn’t that what guys loved about ESPN 2 in the mornings in the ‘90’s?
I could watch a replay of Sportcenter, or I could watch these women exercise... hmmmm
What to do? What to do?
R.I.P. Maggie Moo’s in Columbus
Hippos reek from the odor of fear and the stink of destiny

Just a recap

Straight to the recap today

To recap:
Penguins make me laugh
But not penguins with forced Jamaican accents
It is because they waddle
Waddle is a fun word to say
Waddle Waddle Waddle Waddle Waddle Waddle Waddle
It is actually kind of fun to type
Yes, I typed it out all 7 times
Waffle is similar, yet not as fun to say
I define “type” in the above sentence as “ctrl + v”
It gets me through the night
To get through the knight, you need a lance
Sure there are other piercing weapons of the Middle Ages, but a lance would do
Or maybe a pike
Yes, a pike Okay, a different pike Not that pike either There’re the pikes I’m talking about
Pointy sticks
Skewers
Skewers Skewers Skewers Skewers Skewers Skewers Skewers
Another fun word
Oddly “sewers” isn’t as fun
Can’t tell if it is the connotation, denotation, or extension
Probably the connotation
We had our first day in 4 weeks of only 2 rescue breathing treatments yesterday
There was much rejoicing
Much rejoicing indeed
Lunch was unsatisfying
I am hungry already, and it has only been 90 minutes since I ate
Looks like there are some chips in my future
Mmmm chips
I couldn’t come up with a topic today
Especially since I already wasted my Vampire Bear post
Little Man had a play date with Benny this weekend
I swear those 2 kids are hopped up on goofballs when they are together
We have to slow Little Man down to make sure that he is able to breath
We are 2 steps closer to complete potty training
If we knew how much further it was to complete potty training that might actually mean something
I have to work out tonight
Have to, for maintenance purposes
I am not looking forward to that
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about exercising

My eyes

My sunglasses broke this morning, and I have very photosensitive eyes. Bright sunlight hurts me, much like a vampire. Well not like a vampire hurts me. Vampires hurt me by never acknowledging me in public. I know you can see me Nosferatu, why won’t you wave back?!?! Why?!?!? It’s the garlic, isn’t it? Well, Count, it just so happens that I like white pizzas every now and again. I can’t help it if the base of that is olive oil and garlic. It is not my fault that you are mortally weakened by the pungent bulb. (tee hee, I said, “pungent bulb”) Ahem… where was I. Oh yes, broken sunglasses.

Anyway… this morning after cleaning off and digging out Wifey’s car, I reached into my pocket to get out my sunglasses and heard a small ‘tick.”
No, not that Tick. A small ‘tick’ that could only be due to the rim of my sunglasses snapping and letting the lens fall free into my pocket. I don’t really know when exactly my eyes became the wussiest eyes on the face of the planet, but, in truth, they are. They have been this way at least since college. Yep, since college, I have put on sunglasses the moment I step out of a door into the big wide world. I kind of feel naked without them. Naked and blind. At the same time.

I know that my eyes should be able to handle the big bright world without the aid of dimming spectacles, but for some reason I have lost that ability. I also am aware of my propensity for losing and breaking sunglasses. I lose and/or break sunglasses at an alarming rate. At one point in time I used to purchase more expensive glasses, but due to my amazing ability I found that cheaper glasses made more fiscally responsible sense. Instead of the Sunglass Hut and Oakley’s, now it is Target or a grocery store and no memorable brand name. The sad thing is that the ability of the glasses to filter the UV and shade my delicate lace-like eyes is about the same.

I usually have an extra pair in my car just for this kind of “emergency.” Alas and alack, Little Man appropriated the glasses as a train table decoration about a month ago. Seeing as how I have kept my most recent pair of glasses for 8 whole months, I guess I got cocky and didn’t think I needed the extra. How wrong I was. How how wrong… Now I am snow-blind and fighting off a headache induced by the brightness of the sun and snow.

To recap:
SPOOOOOOOOON! I am not sure if anything momentous will be occurring this weekend
I really feel like I am whining just to be whiny today
That and I am lacking a certain ability to filter UV rays from my delicate delicate eyes
Shading the sun from my eyes with my hands doesn’t work that great
And people think I am saluting them
Mockingly
Actually, people think I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
People are rarely correct
But sometimes they are
This is one of those rare timed that they are correct
I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
Tons really
I miss The Tick Cartoon
I need to get it on DVD
Have a great weekend everyone

Name your price

It seems that bribery works. I am not a big fan of the process for moral reasons, but it seems that it works and therefore is a viable solution to some of our more entrenched Little Man behaviors.

Case in Point, the first: Little Man’s potty training.
So far Little Man has been fine about peeing in the potty. He especially enjoys when Papa and Little Man pee at the same time. Bonding at its finest. The potty training issue that we have been fighting against is pooping on the potty. He has adamantly been against pooping in the potty for the past 6 months. Wifey and I don’t know exactly what that is all about, but we have been wiping poo off his 3.5 year old butt for far too long. Enter the bribery. Turns out that Little Man, who will not listen to reason, he determined on his own, what his price is. He named it and we haggled, and now we pay him to poop on the potty. “His price?” you ask. Well, other than answering, “None of your Damn business,” or “Get yer own kid to bribe,” and also in realizing that I have started this line of thinking, I really should answer with “Special root-beer.” That is right. Little Man will excrete solid waste on a proper toilet receptacle for a shorty (8 oz) A&W Root-beer.

Turns out he would most likely sell us to street thugs for some root-beer from a can. It is good to know he has a price. It is better to know what that price is, so we can top it…

Case in Point, the second: Little Man’s sleeping situation
We are co-sleepers. This was not a decision that we entered into thinking that we wanted to be closer to our little one and help him feel safe and secure in his slumbering. This sleeping arrangement was a decision made purely out of necessity. I shall explain. Back in the wee Little Man days when we were just the typical happy-go-lucky parents of a typical little boy, we were on the path top sleeping freedom. We were reading the No Cry Sleep Solution book and implementing its ideas as we started to move the boy into his own sleeping quarters. We just are not “cry it out” people. Nothing against people who use that solution, it just was not for us. Some people like vanilla ice cream, some French vanilla ice cream, and some people like vanilla bean ice cream. mmmmm ice cream.... where was I? Oh yes, he was at about 6 hours of sleep on his own at night and then the rest of the night in our bed. It was working. His stays in his own bed were lengthening and the time that he was not in our bed allowed for some wonderous slumber.

Then the food allergies really hit. He was scratching himself awake at night due to the rashes and eczema reactions from his food allergies (we think the itchiness was mainly soy and the eczema was the egg). For 3 months we slept, Wifey on one side and me on the other holding his little arms down so he couldn’t scratch himself awake at night. It was horrible… just plain horrible. We finally figured out all that he was allergic to and he was not itchy, but the damage had been done. We left one of the developmental stages where he would easily transition to another bed.

We started the transition process again, but this time it was halted due to his asthma kicking in. When you have to give breathing treatments every 4 hours for nearly a year, you just put the kid in your bed and sleep as best you can, when you can. When we were finally on a pretty good maintenance routine with his asthma and food allergies, he had hit the terrible 2’s and the effin’ 3’s, that was not the time to introduce a new sleep pattern. Now, I recognize that some of these are rationalizations, and some are real reasons, but the end effect is that his bed is currently butted up against ours and we all sleep (to steal a phrase) like a pride of lions.

Which leads me to the next bribery. It seems that Little Man is enamored with a loft style bed… with a slide! There is a light at the end of the family bed tunnel and it is a loft with a slide. He likes the mission style loft in black (Twin Junior Loft with slide in the Mission style in black... Boy's got taste). Not our choice in color, but if it gets him out of our bed it could be pink with yellow polka dots. If Little Man can sleep in his bed on his own for a while (Wifey and I have not discussed the time frame yet) we will order the loft. He is on board with that.

To recap:
Took an hour to dig out and get the car moving today
Yeeee-uck
Happy Valentine’s Day to all who celebrate
Happy Single Awareness Day to those who celebrate
VD and SAD, that is just pitiful
Bribery could definitely pay off
Goodness Gracious! I hope so
Not much more to recap
Not sure what is for dinner tonight

20 Questions Tuesday: 29 - Valentine's Day

Ah, Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and I am stunned at the amount of people on the questioning list who sent in questions. Since Valentine’s Day is such a singular event, I am not going to push this topic on to 2 weeks, so instead of answering every question I got (51 questions in total), I am just going to answer 20 of them that pique my curiosity. I will also answer the few common questions that everyone seemed to ask. These questions are:

What was your worst Valentine’s Day/Valentine’s Day gift? Pretty much any of the Valentine’s Days when I was in High School would suffice. I was unpaired and lonely and acutely aware of that loneliness because I was an angsty teen at the time. As far as gifts go, I have never really gotten a Valentine’s Day gift so “no gift” would be my answer.

What was your best Valentine’s Day/Valentine’s Day gift? 11 years ago was the best. Wifey and I had gotten engaged the previous week, and that Valentine’s Day was just special and nice. As far as gifts, it was 11 years ago as well, when Future Wifey said, “You know, the engagement is more special than this holiday, let’s not celebrate Valentine’s Day and remember the engagement instead.” In one fell swoop, I no longer had to think about Valentine’s Day. Yippee! Love you, Wifey!

Is Valentine’s Day a “real” holiday or just one manufactured by Hallmark? Valentine’s Day is a real “event.” I hesitate to call it a holiday because no one observes it by not doing stuff. There is some actual history to it, but I think a bunch of the history ascribed to the day is more lore and legend than actual historic fact.

Valentine’s Vs Sweetest Day? I had honestly not heard of Sweetest Day until I moved to Ohio in 1992. Never. Heard. Of. It. Sweetest Day is the definition of a “Hallmark” holiday, because it was manufactured. I hate the mere existence of Sweetest Day.

Today’s Questions are from (in order of receipt): Lord Pithy, Lsig, Peefer, The Em, ZingerZapper, Dr Civil, Bomber, Info Diva, Allrileyedup, JW, and Atmikha. If I did not answer a question you asked, I apologize, but paring down the questions to a measly 20 was difficult. To the questions!

1 What the hell does my husband really want for VD? Are silk boxers ever an appropriate gift?
I think, based on a conversation with you this morning, he wants you to stay away fro Valentine’s Day. Silk boxers are always appropriate. Always! They just make it nice to walk around. In fact when I wore silk boxers, I would walk around a lot, for the sheer umm… enjoyment of them.

2 Why does it amuse me so much to refer to the day as VD?
Because it is tragically funny. I think VD actually made the medical community change Venereal Disease into Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s)

3 Nougat or nut-filled? White, milk, or dark? Chocolate, that is. What's your favorite Valentine's day confection?
Nougat, White Chocolate, I am not terribly partial to any day specific confection.

4 How many times can the average person see the same, stupid Valentine's-themed jewelry store commercial and not kill someone?
437 ... I am at 267

5 Is there any implication to the fact that we give our loved ones bits of chocolate in a box shaped (symbolically, anyway) like an internal organ for this holiday? And why does a Valentine's heart look nothing like a real heart?
People like treats, ergo the chocolates. The heart shape is more aesthetically pleasing than an actual heart shape. I mean, really, how do you put lace on the aorta?

6 If you were Cupid, where precisely would you aim your arrow? And why?
For lust? A kill shot to the inner thigh, hoping to nick the femoral artery.
For love? A kill shot to the Carotid Artery.
I think the reasoning is self-evident

7 You are a woman. (Go with me for a moment.) Did you appreciate your gift of lingerie?
I am not sure I like where this question is going. I am not some cheap floozy whose physical affections can be purchased with some frilly lacy undergarment… although, they do make me feel pretty…

8 I love the new anti-V-day parties and such that are happening in recent years for the singles. What's your take on it?
Ah, Single’s Awareness Day. I think it is a great idea. Those sad sad un-coupled masses trying to take control of the singular loney existence

9 What's your favorite love song?
"Tainted Love", by Soft Cell. Sure it wasn’t originally done by Soft Cell, but their cover is easily the best

10 What do you do on a VD date when your date spends 85% of the time talking about his dead mother and how he was forced to fly to England to bury her and he is still bearing the cost of the funeral? You know, they weren’t that close…(blah, blah, blah)
a. End the date on the sentence, “My dead mother…”
b. Refuse to return his calls even after he tells you what a great time he had
c. Tell him at the door that you hope his mother haunts him in his dreams
d. Marry him
Definitely A

11 I recently read that men spend on average 17 million dollars on VD, while women spend half of that amount. Is it because men are trying to make up for the other 364 days in one fell swoop, trying to get a little loving later on, or sincerely want to show their partner how much they love them with a big, honking diamond? Just curious.
Sorry, I stopped reading after “VD.” Men spent $17 million on Venereal Disease? I’m sorry what was the question again? Oh, yes…I think if a singular honking huge gift such as a diamond didn’t work to get men laid, they would not continue that attempt.

12 What was the most appropriate message on the little heart shaped candies? The most inappropriate?
You decide which is which

13 If you were to give out drugstore "themed" cheapy Valentines to your coworkers (like all the kids do - you know Sponge Bob, Cars, etc.) - what character/cartoon would you choose?
Law & Order SVU Valentines!

14 If you were forced to watch a chick flick romantic comedy on Valentine's Day (so not your genre!), what movie would you choose?
Shaun of the Dead. Hey, it is classified as a "romantic comedy."

15 My married friends don't celebrate Valentine's Day anymore, but they did when they dated. What's up with that?
Married people are dead inside…so so dead…

16 Valentine’s Day Clichés: I was at the Mall on Saturday and I saw men with glazed over expressions at the jewery counters looking for engagement rings. Should guys use Valentine's Day to pop the big question or not? By the way, giving a woman flowers and chocolate. Cheesy or traditional? Who actually gives or wants to receive the oversize stuffed animals of fluffy white bears holding a red heart-shaped pillow?
I think the Valentine’s Day/New Years/Christmas proposals are a bit too cliché. There is no originality in them at all.
Flowers and chocolate are a cheesy gift.
I have no idea about the teddy bear and pillow thing.

17 If cupid is a boy, then why do people freak out at you if you dress your baby son up as cupid for pictures?
I don’t know, but people thought I was weird last year for having this up on my computer.

18 Do you think Valentine's Day is a good day for internet couples to meet for the first time?
I think picking a day with less expectations and seasonal weight would be a better choice. There are just too many strings attached to the idea of Valentine’s Day to make it the first physical meeting – in my non-internet dating opinion.

19 Are you a fuddy-duddy who claims that Valentine's day is just a commercial ploy to get people to spend $, or are you the type that uses the day to celebrate the person you love just a little more than you usually do?
I am quite the fuddy duddy on this one, but I do not think it is a commercial ploy as much as I think it is a day that holds no significance to me or Wifey.

20 Does your Valentine like funny wife cards, dirty wife cards, or does she like the mushy, gooey, sentimental wife cards that make you want to throw up in your mouth?
She likes the mushy cards. I don’t get it, but those are the ones she likes

To Recap:
The roads are really crappy today
I will probably be leaving work early today
Around 4-ish
Tacos for dinner
Wifey and I had to go to the grocery store last night
I was surprised at how many college students were there buying beer
Then I remembered (what I could) my collegiate years
Snow, beer and college mix well
I could have omitted snow in that last line

conspiracy of flab

It seems that things are not aligning properly for me to get into a routine for exercise. Between various family illnesses, scheduling conflicts, weather issues, apathy, and a general lack of motivation, the gym just has not been in my weekly routine. Here is how it is supposed to work. Monday and Wednesday evenings, I am supposed to go work out after work. I am supposed to get at least 30 minutes on the elliptical machine and then do some lifting. These in week workouts are supposed to be capped off with my exercising on Saturday morning.

That has not happened since the second week in December. Since that fateful week I have averaged about 2 exercise sessions every 3 weeks. Sure that sounds bad, but what sounds worse is that I have only gone to the gym 6 times in the last 8 weeks. Not really a stellar record for someone who (at least marginally) wants to be remotely healthy.

There have been some legitimate reasons for not exercising. Firstly, the sinus infection is definitely one of them. I have been recovering from the infection for the past week and a half, and suffering from it for 2 weeks before that.

Secondly, Wifey’s gallbladder issue is another reason that the elliptical has not be moving because of me. Sure it is not really my illness to claim, but when one’s partner is in the throws of gall bladder induced pain, one does not foist the kid on her and go lift some weights. I know it hurts to move, babe, and it is hard for you to interact with Little Man, but I just gots to gets my butt in shape. Just suck it up and parent the little bugger on your own for a while. Sheesh! Yeah, I wouldn’t be here today if that was uttered or even thought. (She can tell when I am thinking things…. It is very eerie.)

Thirdly, Little Man’s breathing being compromised does not help. I do not really feel much like an attentive parent if I choose to exercise instead of getting the “we’re-going-to-thehospital-at-any-moment-bag ready. For those who are interested, the bag consists of a portable DVD player, a smorgasbord of DVD’s, Little Man snacks, changes of clothes, etc…

Tonight, I was going to get myself all sweaty and start the process of getting sore, but Wifey and I have committed to make sandwiches for Little Man’s pre-school fund-raiser. No exercising there. This list of reasons doesn’t even touch my general apathy for working out. I hate it. HATE. IT. I really cannot stand it. It truly is my own private hell. I only do it so my health will be better. It is the equivalent of taking really nasty tasting medicine for 45 minutes. I try as hard as I can not to interact with anyone there because I loathe being there so much. There is a good chance that my response to anyone there would be a snarl and possibly a bite.

I hate the in-shape people there because they are in shape and clearly enjoying there exercise routine. I hate the out-of-shape people there because they are in my way. I hate the perky people who work there because they clearly don’t understand how horrid the place they work in is. All in all, exercising is not my favorite thing.

Update on the breathing: Little Man is doing better, but nearly where we would like his breathing to be by the end of a full course of Orapred. Really, he should be doing fine by now, but that just is not the case. He is doing okay. Not doing “great,” just “okay.” Whatever was causing so much breathing issues seems to be on the retreat. It has not left the field of battle, as of yet, but it seems to be withdrawing. Wifey and I definitely think it is due to the anti-biotic, but we would like it to be getting better faster, Damnit!

To recap:
I forgot my lunch today
I am hungry
I will scrounge up something for lunch
A late lunch mind you
But a lunch none-the-less
Wifey is getting a surgical consult on the bladder of gall, at the moment
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions will be about Valentine’s Day
Hopefully I will be in a better mood then

2 things

Firstly, Little Man’s breathing is better. It is not where we want it to be, but it is better. Thanks to all the positive thoughts sent our way.

Secondly, Honestly, I don’t have a “Secondly.” I am pretty drained from the roller coaster event from yesterday. Breathing issues are difficult to deal with, because, well, by our definition life requires respiration of some form. So I leave you with this image instead of some inane ramblings on my part.

Someone once asked me what animal was the scariest. Well, I will tell you again, and this time I will back it up with a terrifying image.

I am afraid of Vampire Bears

To recap:
Each time I look at the post, I cringe
In fear and in shame
Both about equal
I need some sleep
Who isn’t afraid of Vampire Bears?
I mean really?
Some people are afraid of vampires
Some are afeared of bears
Me? I like to consider myself the more sane of those 2 groups for I am afraid of the combination
It is like a fear combo
You know where fries and a drink cost less
But I am not afraid of this Vampire Bear
That would be just plain silly

Honestly, I didn't watch any of the videos because they are blocked where I am

I could be incredibly frightened of that Vampire Bear and just not know it

I find it disturbing that someone blogs/vlogs by the name "Vampire Bear"
I really am just rambling now, aren’t I?
Have a great weekend

Comprimised part 2: the revenge

Update: 2:00pm

After the visit to El Doctore, we are now on a anti-biotic as well as an oral steroid. Even though Little Man is coughing a ton at the moment, it seems that there is still some really good air exchange going on in his little lungs. So at least we got that going for us.

Since the cough does not seem to respond to breathing treatments he has given us another course of action. We are attempting to treat the symptoms. Little Man seems to like hot lemonade with some honey in it. He doesn't know about the honey, so everyone, shut yer flappin' yaps.

To recap:
He is blissfully unaware of the honey he is consuming
So far he has not minded the anti-biotic
At least not nearly as much as he minded the Orapred
Today is Wifey and my anniversary of getting engaged
11 years ago I asked her to marry me and she accepted
SUCKER!
I definitely won out on that one
I am going to go se if he wants some more warm lemonade
With honey

Comprimised

Little Man's breathing seems to have finally realized how crappy the weather is. Ergo, I am at home with his coughing self today. So far we are doing breathing treatments around every 3 hours, he is on Orapred, and he is still coughing. I think that very little of the coughing is the typical phlegmy cough that everyone has this time of year, but 19 of every 20 coughs is definitely the asthma-non-productive-dry-cough that we know so well.

We are really not that sure as to what to do. He is not responding great to the breathing treatments and o far I am unimpressed with the Orapred results. Usually that stuff knocks the cough on its ass, but... right now, the cough seems to be winning. I will be making an appointment with El Doctore soon, but his office isn't open yet, so I will have to wait a bit for that.

Needless to say (and yet still being said) I do not like this cough one bit.

To recap
Grandma D and Grandpa R are going to think they did something wrong
It is how they roll
It is picturesque as Hell out there
The roads are atrocious though
Soccer: US v Mexico tonight on ESPN2 at 9pm EST
I will be very interested to see this team play
Little Man's breathing is definitely compromised
Great a full day of Go, Diego, Go! and playing trains
Hopefully I will have a better report about his breathing tomorrow

20 Questions Tuesday: 28 - the 2nd Style Edition

For some reason the people I canvas for questions really seemed to like asking me about style. Why? I am not too sure. Anyway, today’s installment of 20 Questions Tuesday is brought to you by: Belsum, Toadman, Atmikha, and Dr B-Dawg

On to the questions!

1. "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" with Robin Leach: good memories or 80s dreck?
Why does this have to be an “either/or?” I submit to you, fair readers, that these 2 categories of “good memories” and “80’s drek” (nice frelling use of the word “drek” by the way) are not mutually exclusive categories. Something can be both a good memory and 80’s drek at the same time. For your consideration I give you “The A-Team.” So to answer Question 1, I say “Both!”

2. What are your feelings on the newest Bravo show to use the Project Runway format: Top Designer?
I have not watched it, so I can’t really give much of an educated opinion about it… but that has never stopped me before. Therefore, I say that I am tired of these shoestring budget reality TV shows. I understand that production budgets are not terribly huge, but I would rather the mega conglomerate media corporations reduce the sheer number of stations that they won and make better overall programming. Instead of weak crap 90% of the time on 140 channels, I would much rather deal with weak crap 60% of the time on 80 channels.

3. On “trend” versus “stylish:” can you successfully explain the difference?
I think it is easiest to distinguish between the 2 by defining how the 2 intersect. Stylish typically has some trendy elements to it, but has a more timeless quality to it. If something/someone is truly stylish, they transcend the trend at the moment. Trends tend to be more ephemeral and cheap. Style can be made from trends, but tend to have more of a timeless quality about it.

4. Do you pay any attention to clothing/grooming styles and if so, what are your sources?
Sadly, I do not pay that much attention to clothing/grooming styles, but I am always happy when cargo pants come back into style.

5. Space leather or clingy pajamas: which future clothing style do you prefer?
Space leather. The pajamas really did not seem all that utilitarian. Even in the future, people still need pockets

6. What's with the giant sunglasses already!?
I have no idea! I don’t get it, I just don’t get it. I would understand more if this was not a fashion trend that hadn’t already been thoroughly explored. This is not new territory people.

7. Would you rather wear a dress made of condoms, or cardboard?
Cardboard

8. What does it mean to be "cool" nowadays anyway?
You are asking the wrong guy. I guess “cool” for me is more of a state of mind than anything else.

9. Why do so many people use the word "random" these days? Is that a new style?
Random is the new eclectic. Both, in my opinion, are crap (or drek, if you prefer). What it says to me is that the person who defines their sense of style as “Random” or “Eclectic” has not thought much about what their sense of style actually is.

10. Why can't we bring back the 70s?
People are too fat now. 70’s style only really seems to work with skinny skinny folk

11. What is the difference between style and affectation?
Style is an ascot (not really), affectation is holding you pinky out whilst taking a drink

12. If you were asked to represent your state at a national conference, how would you communicate "Ohio style?"
Well, that varies from region to region in Ohio itself. Ohio is kind of a crossroads. In the northeast (Cleveland area) you are dealing with the Western edges of the rustbelt. Southeast Ohio is in Appalachia. Southwest Ohio is pretty much an extension of Kentucky. Northwest Ohio is basically Michigan. Sadly, all that leaves is Central Ohio, but Central Ohio is only one area. But I will give it a go, today’s style is basically bundled up for warmth.

13. Whose style do you admire and aspire to?
This is a very interesting question. I do not really have a style icon that I follow. There are people out there that I think are quite stylish, but I do not look to them for my style direction. I guess I am a style maverick. I do my own thang!

14. In engineering, the term "Elegance" to describe a process with the least possible number of steps. How are you elegant?
I have 2 steps. Tres elegant, n'est pas?

15. What are the key elements of the SRH style?
A wink and a nod

16. What has been you're all time favorite fad - and did you wear it?Z Cavaricci’s. The narrow high waist with the flaring pant that you had to peg. You had to wear a super skinny braided leather belt with them that was 4 sizes too long. Oh, that was one of the best fads ever. Sadly, I succumbed to this fad, but luckily the picture references from the time seem to have gone missing.

17. Although this doesn't deter me, but it has been pointed out a few times to me: why does black, gray and brown clothing clash?
I think a bunch of this has to do with the flavors of black, gray, and brown. First of all there is no true black in clothing, so black is always tinted with some other hue. Grays can be cool grays (blue tinted) or warm grays (brown tinted). Browns are also tint towards a cooler and warmer set. The problem with mixing these colors is that very often you end up wearing a yellow tinted brown with a blue tinted gray and a red tinted black. Very very rarely will yellow, blue and red go together in a fashionable combination.

18. Why is the waist of men's clothes measured in single inches, yet the length of the pants are measured in even increments of inches?
That’s easy. You only have one waist while you have 2 legs, duh!

19. What do you think is the reason for the obtuse system used for the sizes of women's clothes?
I have no idea what the hell that Machiavellian system of numbers is based on, or how to navigate through it. It is illogical, irrational, and completely arbitrary.

20. Do the Scots make wool so itchy just to demonstrate how tough they are?
Scots don’t make the wool itchy, sheep make the wool itchy. I can only guess that the sheep make the wool itchy for the Scots past, present, and future, shalle we say, "transgressions."

To recap:
Looks like I will be making Orange Rice for Little Man tonight
It has been an entire week since we last made it
By “we” I do mean the royal plural
It has been an entire week since the realm and I last made the Rice of Orange
Yes, yes that sounds more regal
Somebody gets root beer for pooping on the potty -
It’s not me
No pre-school for Little Man today
It is too cold for the pre-schoolers
Little Man looks mighty cute in his cold weather gear
Heck, Little Man would look mighty cute in a burlap sack
I need a haircut
Unfortunately, my selfish hairstylist went and had a baby
Diet Mt. Dew makes me feel less guiltyThat’s why I got fully leaded all sugar filled Mt Dew
I like the guilt

Confessions

I have a problem. It is an egregious problem. A problem that left unchecked could lead me and my family to financial ruin. I am not afraid to admit this problem in a public forum. There are no support groups for this problem. I am out on my own with this one, and the only person who can save me from myself is myself. It is a horrible cross to bear! So I will make my statement here for all to see. But I must confess… Here it goes.

(This is kind of like taxi cab confessions without the bad camera angles and, well, interesting confessions.)

I like eating lunch out.

There I said it! I am a lunch-out-a-holic, and I am all out of lunch-out-a-hol! It is out in the open now. Maybe that can start me down the road to healing. Acceptance is the first step right?

It really is a problem. I am going out to lunch about 9 times a week. I know some of you out there are trying to figure out the mental gymnastics associated with eating more lunch than there are lunches to be had, but stop your rationality and come with me here. Anyway… here is the deal. I love me some lunch out. Absolutely love it. There are a couple of good reasons for this as well as a couple really crappy ones.

The Good Reasons:
1. Gets me out of the office. I need to vacate the premises to reconnect with the “I’m not at work” me. It is a physical and mental necessity… plain and simple

2. Promotes coworker bonding. I do not have many opportunities to really bond with co-workers in a non-project oriented manner. It allows me to get to know these people around me on a more personal level since I am not willing to meet with these kooks outside of office hours.

The Bad Reasons:
1. It is a stupid expensive habit. $5 here and $6.40 there adds up after a while. With 9 lunches a week at an average of $6.00 a whack we are looking down the barrel of a $2,808 annual habit.

2. The food is crappy and bad for you. Sweet Sliding Barn Doors! McDonald’s is starting to print the “nutritional” information for their products on their re-vamped packaging. Let’s just say that I was disturbed. Disturbed greatly. I don’t eat at the Golden Arches every day, but the competitors aren’t any healthier. This has got to be hell on my body. I can’t keep shoving this crap in my body and consider myself even remotely healthy.

3. I need to be waaay more thoughtful about getting ready for work if I am to have lunch plans ready the night before.

4. Frozen meals typically suck. They tend to feel too small. Sure their portions are most likely more than a healthy human “needs”, but I want more. I don’t want to be hungry again 3 hours after eating lunch. This doesn’t even get into the lack of flavor typically associated with meals from the freezer. Bland, too small lunches do not a good meal make.

Well, it looks like I need to turn over a new leaf and bring my lunch to work. Wasting almost $3k a year on lunches is a bit much to ask of our funding. I mean, really, I could use the $ 216 a month on hookers and blow. The financial ramifications of my lunch-out-a-holism aside, I think the crap lunches are also contributing to my general sense of malaise and tubby feelings as of late. Maybe if I only go out to lunch twice a week…

To recap:
It is cold as a witch’s tit in a brass bra out there
And believe me, that’s cold
I had to jump start my car today
When I went to start my car this morning it was 1° F
That is -17.22 °C
That is 255.9278 K
I had meatballs for lunch today
They were tasty
Paella tomorrow
Hopefully, tonight’s and tomorrow’s meals will supply the rest of the week’s lunchtimes
I was going to tie my problem into the 12 steps associated with Alcoholics Anonymous, but it seems that some of that looks kind of “hooey-ish” to me
A bit too religious for my blood
Honestly, that kind of “higher power” this and “higher power” that would drive me to drink
But it works for some folk
So who am I to judge
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday is the 2nd Style Edition

Nap?!?

So I am home this afternoon with Little Man. This is a planned homestay, so no diatribe against the caregivers this time. This one I completely scheduled and expected. I just hope that Little Man wants to take an inordinately long nap today, because his papa needs the sleep. Badly.

Steve:

Joe:

Little Man is currently forcing me to watch Blue’s Clues. I have nothing against the show, but I have to know how Steve or Joe made it to adulthood being so completely unaware of their surroundings. Sweet goose down quilts! those 2 couldn’t find their hand in a bag if their hands were in bags. –Wow, that metaphor didn’t work at all- Anyway, it goes to the overall topic or questions regarding awareness and children’s shows. I think the characters on kids' shows have gotten rather complacent in their situational vigilance. I mean, come on, they rely on toddlers and little kids to find everything for them. I swear to pizza on a stick, if Blue’s paw print were an angry venomous snake, there would be 2 less children’s TV hosts around.

Oh, and Dora, Swiper is behind the bush. He is always behind the bush, every single time. Behind the bush. Every time. Why don’t you check there prior to enlisting the aid of my train distracted child. Send your weird footwear-challenged primate to look behind the bush, if Swiper isn’t there, then ask my 3.5 year old if he’s seen him. My child is not your lookout. I don’t want you priming the pump for him to be “the lookout” when people he is loosely acquainted with want to knock over a convenience mart and need another set of eyes.

Where was I? hmmmm Oh yes, not much to say today.

To recap:
I am napping in 20 minutes
Please, please, please let me nap in 20 minutes
Okay, Blogger is being all wonky
I will try publishing again after the nap
Please, please, please let there be a nap
I will publish this after the nap
Have a great weekend

Update: it was a glorious nap. I feel much better. Now we are giving him a breathy. Aaaaah nap. Now I know I won't get to sleep tonight