Spork

I truly think that the most under-used of all plastic utensils is the spork. Sure it is a hybrid of the spoon and the fork, but it does its job and it does it effectively. It is not meant to be used to eat soup or cereal. It is not intended to stab a steak, it is meant for the spiking scoop necessary for coleslaw and other saucy side dishes. The spork is a perfect for purely utilitarian reasons. It is not pretty. There is nothing flashy about it. It has no pretensions. But, the spork has its reasons for existing: gloppy food and the need for something to stab and scoop it effectively and efficiently.

The issue is that these brave eating utensils are getting harder and harder to come by due to the monopoly imposed by the Trinary utensil system. Ah the monopoly of the fork, knife, and ever-present spoon. The Eating Triad. So where in the cosmos of the national American foodscape can one bank on the usage of the adorable spork? The only national chain I have found is Taco Bell. Kentucky Fried Chicken used to be the home of the spork, but that weak place caved into the pressure of using forks “like the rest of modern society.” Hey, KFC, what are you saying about Taco Bell? Huh? There is word on the street of Sonic using the lovable spork, but is Sonic truly a “national” fast food chain? I mean really, there are like 3 of the places.

To recap:
Why won’t the fast food industry show the spork some love?
It is perfect for them
Work was insane today
There is word out there of other hybrid utensils called the foon and the knork
What the hell is a foon?
What the hell is a knork?