Funky

So the house is on the market and we have averaged about 1 showing every 2 days since we have listed the house. We average about 1 showing every 2 days, but in reality (or realty: oh, God, I am sooooo punny) it is more like every third day 2 people walk through our house. Again an odd sensation knowing that people you do not know are rummaging through your cupboards.

Since our realtor is such a good realtor, she gives us feedback on what the prospective buyers’ agents tell her. Okay, maybe that is typical realtor behavior, but whatever, she’s a good realtor, damnit! Anyway… the feedback typically comes back like, reasonably priced, showed well, 3rd bedroom too small, too many bodies in the basement, etc… So far the potential buyers haven’t given us an offer, but we will get one. The oddest bit of feedback we have gotten so far is from one of the showings we had on Saturday. Their realtor gave this feedback to our realtor: “The basement and attic are funky.”

I am not sure exactly what that means. Now, in some circles “funky” means stinks like sweaty socks and bad shoes. Our attic doesn’t stink. At it’s worst, the attic smells like stale and stuffy air, but that is more of an ambiance and not so much of a smell. Whilst we were becatted, our basement might occasionally make it into the realm of “funky” due to the litter boxes and my general laziness associated with cleaning them. Now, though, the basement only has that vaguely earthy smell that most basements have. So, we think we can safely remove odoriffic from the meaning of “The basement and attic are funky.”

Next there is the psychedelic meaning of “funky.” Our basement and our attic do not even remotely possess attributes that lend themselves to be “funky.” There are no beaded curtains, no lava lamps, no disco balls, and no garish colors on the walls. As far as attics and basements go, they are rather un-psychedelic. The closest we come to psychedelicism is the attic’s paint color. We painted the trim white, but the walls and ceiling are granny-smith-apple green. Whimsical, sure, but not “funky.” Let me put it to you this way, George Clinton would not deign to get high in our attic, and that man would smoke a bowl in any place that was even remotely funky.

Honestly, we are at a loss. We can remedy some comments. If we get too many more “the 3rd bedroom is too small” comments we can put a single bed in there, and people can see that a bed actually fits in the space. But there is not a way to un-funkify a space that is non-funky in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, we do not intend to act on every comment back from other agents, but if we are consistently hearing the same thing as a negative, we are going to try and remedy that.

I think the buyer just didn’t want our house and made something up. Ummm, the basement and attic are funky. Yeah, that's it. Funky.

To Recap:
Oh, No, No, No, Don’t Funk with my Heart…
Didn't think I had any Black Eyed Peas quotes, did you?
We have a showing for realtors tomorrow
Whoopeee!
Left-overs for dinner tonight
I had to mow the grass in drizzly rain yesterday afternoon
That sucked
The Caffeine Free Mountain Dew (my methadone) is no longer working as intended
I have to go to Cincinnati on Thursday
Almost as yuck as Cleveland
But not quite