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So, Little Man pants’d Wifey at the Library last night. It was hilarious. He then attempted to pants me. I had on a belt, and now I think Wifey has seen the error of her yoga pants ways.
See we were at the local library’s Family Story Time. This is an event that occurs pretty much every week. We do not go so much though. It happens at 7 at night on Wednesdays, and with Little Man’s breathing treatment and bath, a 7 o’clock event is sometimes a bit on the late side for a tired and cranky Little Man. Anyway… we were actually at the Family Story Time last night and Little Man was running around like he was insane in the membrane, insane in the brain. Let me define “running around.” “Running around” in this instance was Little Man sobbing on my lap because we were making him go to Family Story Time. It took him about 15 minutes to calm down and think about interacting with the other kids there. Mainly it took a song with an inordinate amount of jumping to take place. Let’s just say, “He likes the jumping.”
So the next to last song of the Family Story Time is the “Silly Dance Contest.” This is a song done by some nameless shmuck that I am sure I could find out with just a little bit of Internet digging if I cared. Alas and alack, I care not. So the “Silly Dance Contest” is on and Little Man is shaking his money maker. His groove thing is moving, but now he wants to take it up a level. Taking it up a level, I guess, requires a dance partner. His momma would have to do. He reaches over to Wifey grabs both hips and attempts to pull himself up. He did not ascend the sheer cliff of Wifey as much as pants her.
Wifey lets out a startled yelp as her trousers were traveling floorward, and Little Man is just grinning and shaking his body like he just dont care; i said to, be a freakazoid if you dare … Anyway…Since his momma was not participating in the whole dancing thing, he turned his attention to ascending Mt. SRH. My belt kept my pants on, while the little one was climbing me and I was giggling at Wifey’s misfortune. So the “Silly Dance Contest” song ended and everyone started gathering their things together. Turns out Wifey’s things were her sense of self-worth and dignity. As far as a “Silly Dance Contest” can go, I think she had to at least have placed.
On a side note: I am the MacGyver of mouse traps. It seems that an old Cottonelle bag, some Aveeno Oatmeal Bath and a dirty diaper is an effective impromptu mousetrap. If I had to use duck tape and a Swiss Army knife, I am sure the theme music would have been playing in the background.
To recap
People at the library were treated to Wifey’s undies
They were clean at least
We tagged one mouse last night
Little Man thinks that a silly dance involves his momma’s pants hitting the floor
So do I
For those of you who remember the show, it was never a good thing to be MacGyver’s friend
This post was brought to you by Cypress Hill’s “Insane in the Membrane,” Midnight Star’s “Freakazoid,” and the number 7
See we were at the local library’s Family Story Time. This is an event that occurs pretty much every week. We do not go so much though. It happens at 7 at night on Wednesdays, and with Little Man’s breathing treatment and bath, a 7 o’clock event is sometimes a bit on the late side for a tired and cranky Little Man. Anyway… we were actually at the Family Story Time last night and Little Man was running around like he was insane in the membrane, insane in the brain. Let me define “running around.” “Running around” in this instance was Little Man sobbing on my lap because we were making him go to Family Story Time. It took him about 15 minutes to calm down and think about interacting with the other kids there. Mainly it took a song with an inordinate amount of jumping to take place. Let’s just say, “He likes the jumping.”
So the next to last song of the Family Story Time is the “Silly Dance Contest.” This is a song done by some nameless shmuck that I am sure I could find out with just a little bit of Internet digging if I cared. Alas and alack, I care not. So the “Silly Dance Contest” is on and Little Man is shaking his money maker. His groove thing is moving, but now he wants to take it up a level. Taking it up a level, I guess, requires a dance partner. His momma would have to do. He reaches over to Wifey grabs both hips and attempts to pull himself up. He did not ascend the sheer cliff of Wifey as much as pants her.
Wifey lets out a startled yelp as her trousers were traveling floorward, and Little Man is just grinning and shaking his body like he just dont care; i said to, be a freakazoid if you dare … Anyway…Since his momma was not participating in the whole dancing thing, he turned his attention to ascending Mt. SRH. My belt kept my pants on, while the little one was climbing me and I was giggling at Wifey’s misfortune. So the “Silly Dance Contest” song ended and everyone started gathering their things together. Turns out Wifey’s things were her sense of self-worth and dignity. As far as a “Silly Dance Contest” can go, I think she had to at least have placed.
On a side note: I am the MacGyver of mouse traps. It seems that an old Cottonelle bag, some Aveeno Oatmeal Bath and a dirty diaper is an effective impromptu mousetrap. If I had to use duck tape and a Swiss Army knife, I am sure the theme music would have been playing in the background.
To recap
People at the library were treated to Wifey’s undies
They were clean at least
We tagged one mouse last night
Little Man thinks that a silly dance involves his momma’s pants hitting the floor
So do I
For those of you who remember the show, it was never a good thing to be MacGyver’s friend
This post was brought to you by Cypress Hill’s “Insane in the Membrane,” Midnight Star’s “Freakazoid,” and the number 7
5 Comments:
Although it was my humiliation chronicalled in your entry today, I have to admit that I laughed quite a bit. It occurs to me that some may not feel comfortable publicly commenting on my de-pantsing as I have received a couple of personal emails from people who read your blog and wanted to point their fingers at me and laugh at my pain. They just wanted to do it privately it seems.
So here is my response:
Dear friends of SRH's blog, please feel free to comment on the fact that my two-year old has now shown all our neighborhood friends, just what junk momma has in the trunk. As my loving husband has already "laid bare my shame", so i'm fine being the "butt" of your jokes, too.
Just for everyone's clarification, Wifey was not nuded in the Library. At most she showed everyone a cheek. Her underwear was clean and tastefully proper with no holes in it. All in all, everyone at the library should be glad that Little Man pantsed her, and not me, for I cannot gaurantee the same quality of under-garments.
Thank you, now back to your regularly scheduled comments...
So...Are you guys going back next week then??
pantsd
I'll have to add that to my repertoire. 'Sounds like a fun time.
But why number 7?
NYM:
Actually, it was the last Family Story Time of the season, so, no we will not be there this week.
Peefer:
Glad to add to the vocabulary, and 7 'cause I like it
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