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Okay, so I had this big old idea about how I was going to do a "Blog of the Beast" when my counter hit 666, but it is already at 671! Well, summadabitch! Now I have to think about a new blog topic. Damn this blog and its popularity!!!! Why do I have to be such a popular blogger, why?!?!?!? It makes me want to curse, Flintstone style... "Rassin' Frasssin' Rickin' Rackin'!!!!
Anyway... Now I have to come up with a new topic, and I am the suckiest suck that has ever sucked a suck when it comes to getting topics on a daily (or near daily) basis. It really is amazing that I have hit more than the number of the beast, seeing how weak my topics have become. I mean really, all I really jabber about is how Wheezy McAsthma is doing and bitch about working with engineers. I have not had a "I hate people" post or a "Boot on my head" post in a while.
Turns out my officemates are quite the little piggies. In fact, I have to say, "oink, oink" as a shout out to the office folk. So, what leads me to say that the coworkers are porcine? Well, it is quite simple, actually. One of my intrepid cartographers has taken it upon herself to bring in baked goods for the office on a regular basis. It turns out that today she brought in an apple pie... excuse me, a Dutch apple pie. It was gone in 4 minutes. "4 minutes", you ask? "Yes, 4 minutes," I respond. My office mates seem to be a cross between vultures and pigs. (Vultigs?) The email announcing said apple pie was broadcast, and before the electrons stopped flowing from the email, there was a line of people waiting to partake of the confection.
Side note: while I make fun of the officemates, I was 3rd in line. I cannot believe that 2 of the bastiges got ahead of me. Back to the story at hand.
Anyway... this, sadly enough, is not the fastest a pie has been taken off of the office's hands. I believe that was 2 minutes, but that pie was pre-sliced, it deserves a different metric. Anyway... the fact is that yours truly brought in a plate of brownies only 1 hr earlier. Food had already been in the office and the line that wanted pie, was the very same line that wanted brownies, myself included:(.
So to recap: I missed the post of the beast. I am dreadfully popular, Dammit! Flintstone cursing is old school! My bologna doesn't have a first name, it is meat for Chissakes!!! Topics are still not easy to come by. My officemates are little piggy vultures.
Anyway... Now I have to come up with a new topic, and I am the suckiest suck that has ever sucked a suck when it comes to getting topics on a daily (or near daily) basis. It really is amazing that I have hit more than the number of the beast, seeing how weak my topics have become. I mean really, all I really jabber about is how Wheezy McAsthma is doing and bitch about working with engineers. I have not had a "I hate people" post or a "Boot on my head" post in a while.
Turns out my officemates are quite the little piggies. In fact, I have to say, "oink, oink" as a shout out to the office folk. So, what leads me to say that the coworkers are porcine? Well, it is quite simple, actually. One of my intrepid cartographers has taken it upon herself to bring in baked goods for the office on a regular basis. It turns out that today she brought in an apple pie... excuse me, a Dutch apple pie. It was gone in 4 minutes. "4 minutes", you ask? "Yes, 4 minutes," I respond. My office mates seem to be a cross between vultures and pigs. (Vultigs?) The email announcing said apple pie was broadcast, and before the electrons stopped flowing from the email, there was a line of people waiting to partake of the confection.
Side note: while I make fun of the officemates, I was 3rd in line. I cannot believe that 2 of the bastiges got ahead of me. Back to the story at hand.
Anyway... this, sadly enough, is not the fastest a pie has been taken off of the office's hands. I believe that was 2 minutes, but that pie was pre-sliced, it deserves a different metric. Anyway... the fact is that yours truly brought in a plate of brownies only 1 hr earlier. Food had already been in the office and the line that wanted pie, was the very same line that wanted brownies, myself included:(.
So to recap: I missed the post of the beast. I am dreadfully popular, Dammit! Flintstone cursing is old school! My bologna doesn't have a first name, it is meat for Chissakes!!! Topics are still not easy to come by. My officemates are little piggy vultures.
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