Transcription

Here is an email conversation between Dr B-Dawg, myself, and a third party who wants to remain nameless due to the graphic nature of this conversation. The conversation was spurred by the un-timely death of David Carradine.

The conversation for a set of emails was simply entitled "David Carradine:"
Dr B Dawg:
Let us bow our heads in a moment of silence. The only thing i heard about his death is that they found his body in a bangkok hotel. At least he went out the way you'd expect him too. no doubt filled to the top with thai hookers and opium.

SRH:
They found a "chord around his neck and body" Autoerotic-asphyxiation anyone?

3rd Party Who Wants to Remain Nameless:
Here here. As of himself in death as he was in life. .....sigh. Hopefully this will spur Hollywood to do the much needed Kung Fu remake.

DBD:
I’m going to buy a poster of him this evening and add it to my special shrine room.

SRH:
You have too many rooms

3PWWRN:
I had the same thought. He clearly pulled a Bob Crane.

DBD:
So off the top of my head, to rank the autoerotic-asphyxiation club members: 1. David Carradine 2. Bob Crane 3. Michael Hutchens

3PWWRN:
Wow that is a pretty high caliber list, that may be the most rarified air Karate Dave ever got to breathe in his whole life.

SRH:
I think you should add Val Kilmer to that list... eventually

3PWWRN:
Apparently he [Val Kilmer] lives like 2 miles from this building. Now that I think about it I can't image why I have not set aside a weekend to stalk and strangle him to death and make it look like AEA. I mean who DOESN'T think he will be on this list soon enough. No alibi required. What?.....HE SHOULD PAY FOR BATMAN FOREVER!!!! .... it is about balance really.

DBD:
I have to disagree with that one, a woman [Val Kilmer] would never let that happen to her.

SRH:
Oooooh burn!

3PWWRN:
Fair enough

So who should play Kwai Chang Caine for the remake. I recommend some one who looks even less Asian than David Carradine, as it will send a strong message to China that we don't need them!!

DBD:
Christian Bale will do it. He’ll do anything.

SRH:
Sean William Scott

DBD:
That is brilliant.

SRH:
Be like The Bullet Proof Monk in the old west

3PWWRN:
You bill it like that and I don't see how you could lose.

SRH:
I am nothing if not market savvy.

DBD:
The Rock could be his master.

SRH:
You are genius. Let’s be clear though, the Rock is everyone's master. Can you smell what I’m cookin’?

3PWWRN:
Spoken like two people who have not seen the new Race to Witch Mountain. Can YOU smell what I’m cookin’? Scorpion King RoCKs!!!

SRH:
Why in god's name would you see Race to Witch Mountain?

3PWWRN:
uhhh... The Rock. duh!

DBD:
"Let’s be clear though, the Rock is everyone's master"--SRH He didn't have a choice.

3PWWRN:
So rarified air then? News sites confirm it [auto-erotic asphyxiation]!

DBD:
That is why you should always have a safe word. It is interesting that Fox News went with “penis” and the AP report used “genitals.” That makes his funeral a fun event now right. It is hard to weep for someone after that. Unless it is from laughter.

SRH:
Yet the laughter weeping is easy.

3PWWRN:
In this case it is more than easy it is almost uncontrollable.

SRH:
I heard the laughter is funnier if you choke yourself while laughing.

The conversation went on a bit after this, but it was mainly about them allowing me to format this and post it.

To recap:
What a way to go
Friday was National Doughnut Day
Here is the evidence of Little Man partaking in the festivities
20 Question Tuesday is up tomorrow
Listening to Little Man watch some Penguins of Madagascar on the DVR

20 Questions Tuesday: 137 - Q is Turning 1

Here it is. My second kid’s birthday week. Yikes. She is going to be 1 in 2 days. AAACK

Today’s 20 Questions is about this momentous occasion. Thanks this week go to ACW, Capt. McArmypants, Riley, Dr B-Dawg, and Some Other Guy. On to the questions!


1. The kid’s school year has passed by so quickly – much quicker than usual. Do you think it might have something to do with the other distractions we have in our lives (work, activities, news stories etc)?
I think it has to do with pure percentages. One year to me is only about 2.86% of my life where when I was 10 it was 10% or a whapping 20% when I was 5 or 100% when I was 1. As I get older, the perception of time speeds up.

2. It’s amazing how the kids can get older and you don’t – isn’t it?
It is a pretty interesting phenomenon at that.

3. “What a difference a day makes” – lame slogan or what?
I am intrigued… I will go with the "or what?"

4. NO STRAWBERRIES!!?
’Tis true, she is allergic to strawberries now.

5. What about blackberries?
Haven’t tried them yet. We are avoiding most multi-seeded fruits right now due to the strawberry thing.

6. Talkin yet? Any first words? Likely candidates for first words?
Tonight she said “mama” much to the delight of a certain mama.

7. What would she want as a birthday present if she could talk?
She is into taking things out of one container and putting them in another container. So two wide mouth jars and a collection of something she cannot choke on. But that is what i am getting her, so you are on your own.

8. What is the biggest personality difference between her and Little Man?
She is way more independent. Way. More.

9. Do you get annoyed at how often people say things like “Oh, wow, is she already hitting the big day??? Where does the time go?”
It is a bit annoying, just because it reminds me of the events that are never going to happen again.

10. Biggest difference between her first year and Little Man's first year?
We have another child to deal with as well. When you only have one, you can sleep when they do in the early days.

11. Any expectations of her second year?
I have decided to not expect anything, except to have a job. I will have a job, Damnit!

12. Do you plan on getting a present for Little Man on her birthday so he doesn't feel jealous/left out?
He is super excited for it to be HER birthday. I think he might get a bit flummoxed if we tried to give him anything significant. That being said, I think we are going to try and give him his favorite foods in celebration of her birthday.

13. Did you know June 4th is also Old Maid's Day? What do you make of that?
Well, Q can be pissed at the OB-GYN who scheduled her birth then.

14. How many different of sizes of clothes does a 0 to 1 year-old pass through?
Typical kids will go through 4 to 7 different sizes. Q went through premie, newborn, 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, and is in 9-12. Most kids are larger than Q and would also be in the 12-18’s but most likely skip the premie.

15. How disappointed is Q by the fact that she has not seen the advent of the flying car in her lifetime?
She has a lot of lifetime left and is not giving up hope. She is just sooo naive.

16. Are you surprised by Q's aforementioned high expectations of how fast technological innovations should be occurring, despite being only one year old? That is a lot pressure your daughter is putting on society already. I don't want to tell you how to raise your child, but you might want to work on that. Seriously.
If you don’t push society it will only stagnate. You should be happy that she is un-happy with the status quo. If we have taught her anything it is to keep the fork out of her eye, but if we teach her something else, it will be that the status should not be quo.

17. So, why didn't we let the car companies fail?
Because so many ancillary industries depended on their existence.

18. What do you see in the upcoming year for the family?
Lots and lots of poopy diapers.

19. Explain 1 in set theory.
This is from my faulty memory of a class I did not get a stellar grade in. Well, it all goes back to the null set. The set that has no members. 0 is described as the null set and 1 would be the power set of the null set which is the null set and a set containing the null set. Therefore a set that contains the null set and another member ergo 1. QED. It is a bit circular, but much of set theory is.

20. Sheesh! I was kidding. You are a freak. I weep for your children.
I weep for them when they have friends over. So will they...


To recap:
1 on Thursday
Wifey’s Mom gets some surgery tomorrow, so positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated
Nothing scary, but necessary
I have some work to get done before a meeting tomorrow
It might get me some contract work, so’s I got’s to get
Listening to The Beast and the Dragon, Adored by Spoon

3 Things

There are 3 things to go over today.

Thing the First:
Q is turning 1 on Thursday. It seems like just yesterday that I got to meet Q, so how can it be that she will be a whole year old on this Thursday? People who have mentioned how fast one’s perception of time increases when they have more than one child are woefully inadequate at the description of the bending of space and time around multiple children. It is hard to concept that Little Man has been around long enough for us to pay off a 30 month loan much less that the new kid in the house has been here long enough for her lease to go month-to-month.

Thing the Second:
Did I mention that my second child has been in this world a year on Thursday? I mean really, it was just a few days ago that she started to like me. How can she be a year old? Seriously. How could there have been duration of 289,898,835,498,720,000 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the cesium 133 atom? “How?” I ask you?

Thing the Third:
No, Seriously. The girl is going to be 1 in less than 3 days. WTF? I have a near 6 year old and a near 1 year old. What is up with that?!?!? If it were not for the calendar we would be celebrating her 100 days of being in Casa del SRH. Sure she would be mighty advanced for a 3.5 month old, but that is the amount of time that she has been here. So shut up.

To recap:
Time is a fickle harlot
Q took her first steps on Friday
Pretty advanced for a 3.5 month old
She is also on the verge of speaking rather coherently
20 Questions Tuesday will be about the passing of a year
Listening to Little Man whine about not getting to watch Youtube vids