New Year's Eve

It is New Year's Eve and we leave for Texas tomorrow morning at 6:45 am. There is sooooo much to do prior to us leaving on a jet plane.

To Recap:
To do list = very big
Time to complete To Do List = very short
Have a happy and safe New Year's
I will be taking a hiatus for a while
Mainly because I am out of town for a bit and then unavailable for the posting for a while
Cheers

20 Questions Tuesday: 123 - New Year's Resolutions

Well, the new year is almost upon us. 2008, we barely knew ye. Anyhoo… along with a new year come New Years resolutions. I resolve to answer these 20 Questions today.

Thanks this week go to the erstwhile deceased yet back from the grave Lord Pithy, Capt McArmypants, John P, and some other guy who time has forgotten.

On to the questions!


1. If you had the power to make a new year's resolution for someone else, how cool would that be?
It would not be all that cool, because there is no repercussions if New Year’s Resolutions do not come to fruition. People barely keep their won resolutions, much lesss the ones imposed upon them by others.

2. If you had the power to make a new year's resolution for someone else, who would it be for, and what would it be?
It would be for Little Man and it would revolve somehow around his ability to get to sleep.

3. 2009 is the Year of the Ox. What animal is more deserving?
I think the Llama wanted it more but lacked the talent.

4. Since this is just an aribitrary moment in the orbit of our planet about its primary, couldn't we start a movement to move the New Year to a warmer time of the year?
Got a frog in your pocket? Who is this “we” you speak of?

5. Will you be continuing your tradition of getting totally wasted and assaulting sidewalk benches this year?
For the 34th consecutive year I will be assaulting sidewalk benches in a totally trashed state… by proxy. When you see someone assaulting a sidewalk bench who is potentially wildly inebriated, they are my minions doing my bidding.

6. Does anybody actually keep those things?
Some people do, I have never met one of those people, but supposedly they exist.

7. NY Resolutions a bad thing? I mean doesn't breaking promises to yourself without consequences erode your likelihood of keeping future ones? Maybe people should be forced to bet on their resolutions in Vegas. I realize this would involve a very cost-intensive monitoring process, but I think this could totally revamp reality TV in a good way. "So Mr. Contestant no more drinking on weekdays huh? Well looks like somebody is going to lose their house now."
I am pretty sure they occasional drinking is not what made Mr Contestant lose his house in these troubled economic times, but I don’t find whimsy and flights of fancy to be a bad thing.

8. Shouldn't Boston just make Green Beer and dyeing the river part of every drunken holiday? I mean why just St. Patty's Day?....er got a little off topic there. I meant to say shouldn't Boston resolve to make Green Beer and a green river part of every drunk celebration?.......smoooooooth.
You are smooth. Umm… I thought it was Chicago that did that.

9. Any unique resolutions there for yourself?
Unique ones? Not especially. The time honored resolutions of getting in better shape, eating healthier, etc… but nothing significantly different.

10. Wouldn't yearly resolutions be more appropriate on your birthday?
Why would the populace of the world resolve to be a better place on my birthday? Was it that dark of a day? Really?

11. Have you ever been successful keeping a New Year’s resolution longer than say 3 weeks?
Yep, I think I made it to June with one resolution one year.

12. New Year’s resolutions: Aim high, sky is the limit or low-ball it to guarantee success?
Guarantee the success. There are enough things that I fail to do in my life. Why set myself up?

13. Is this the year to complete your plan for world domination? You know it should be easier now that there are online worlds to conquer.
There are people out there who eat sleep and drink my computer gaming hobby. I would have to pry the online worlds I so desire to rule out of there clammy ham-hock pale Cheetos dusted hands, and I don’t want to see their hands much less use prying implements on them.

14. Do coworkers annoy you with their resolutions? Do you annoy them with yours?
You could have stopped this question at “you.” The answer is “Yes” to the truncated question.

15. Will you list for us the family’s resolutions?
I am not sure I could list for me the family’s resolutions.

16. Since people don’t ever keep resolutions, why don’t they resolve to do unhealthy things and then “fail” to follow through with those resolutions and thus become healthier?
Interesting questions. Basically you want people to trick themselves into better lifestyles. This might have some legs to it. That being said, there is a good possibility the resolution (for example) to eat at McDonald’s 3 times a week could actually happen.

17. This year I resolve to_________
Be more healthy. That is vague enough and easy enough considering just how unhealthy this year has been.

18. How did the idea of New Year’s Resolutions ever come to be?
You know what? This year I resolve to research into the phenomenon of New Year’s Resolutions and learn the intricacies of the practice’s history.

19. Do people ever create resolutions with the intention of breaking them (not so much like question 16, but out of self destructiveness)?
I think that is pretty self defeatist and I am not sure anyone would actively set themselves up for that kind of action. (Just an FYI, the answer to number 18? Yeah, I have no intention of following through with that one).

20. Is there a resolution you have for the blog?
Yes, I resolve that the blog, Under Construction, penned by yours truly, shall have more color commentary and less play by play.


To recap:
Q was not a good sleeper last night
Neither was I
The problem was that when I was capable of being a good sleeper, she was not
I am amazingly tired
The fam leaves for Dr B Dawg’s wedding on Thursday the 1st
His wedding isn’t until the 3rd
Little Man will be the ring bearer
Keep it secret! Keep it safe!
Listening to the broken melodies in my mind

4 Down

The Christmas Holiday was great. Little Man was out of his mind happy. Q was suitably impressed with the comings and goings. Wifey was pleased with the events and their happenings. Mim was excited by how much love and warmth there was around the household. I was grateful for all the thought and energy that had gone into the gifts that I received. We were all basking in the glow of Christmas love and affection.

It was amazing. By the end of Christmas Dinner, the house was not in bad shape. We had most (aside from 2 baking sheets) of the dishes clean. This includes the Christmas Eve meal dishes and the dishes necessary to make the feast that was Christmas Dinner. The recyclables had been gathered together and still take up waaaay too much of the office. Most everything was ready to be put away where its awayness belonged. All was pristine and well within festive Chez SRH.

Then the vomiting began. It has been an amazing weekend at Casa Del SRH. I did not realize just how bad it could get with 4 people ill at the same time. Wow… The fam is slowly recovering. It seems that Little Man had a bug of some sort on Tuesday of last week which got worse on Christmas Evening and then again Saturday morning. Friday and Saturday was all about Wifey and me being ill, and the entire time Q was fussy and difficult. We think Q was spared the brunt of it because Wifey was steadily feeding her antibodies and allowing her to leech any and all vitamins and minerals from her already depleted system. Go Wifey!

The fam is still a bit under the weather. Our bellies are all starting to be less ungracious to hosting more food.

Needless to say, it was a great holiday season.

To recap:
Saturday’s weather was beautiful
High of 67°F (19.4°C) in late December?
WTF?
Wifey and I both enjoyed it by staying inside and shivering under blankets and running to and from the bathroom
That’s how we roll in Casa Del SRH
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions will be about New Year’s Resolutions

'Twas the day before Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas, And all around the cubes
Not a creature was stirring, But PTO-less rubes.
The lights had been turned off by workers who were green
‘Causing the cubes to be bathed in the light blue of monitor sheen

The managers were celebrating with rummed egg nogs,
While dozens of workers realized they were no more than cogs.
And associates in their suits, and I in my business cas’
Had just settled into our bored routines at long last.

When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my Aeron Desk Chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I ambled without much haste,
And slowly I looked for more time to waste.

The lot was dreary, devoid of Christmas Cheer
Reminding me that I was stuck working here.
When, what to my wondering eyes should show near,
But the IT staff with crates and boxes of gear.

With a network admin atwitter and twitch,
I knew in a moment it was a server switch.
More boxes and cables off the truck came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name!

“Now, 80211G! now, Servers! now, RAID and WAN!
On, Bluetooth! on, Cat 5! on, Switches and LAN!
To the network room! to the conduit in wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As individual pages of multiple copies do fly,
When admin assistants trip as they go by ,
So fly IT Techs with work to do,
Laden arms of cable and other gear too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in MY space,
The scraping and clicking of cables out of place
As I moseyed back to the place of my work
I saw the IT Tech unplugging my PC with a smirk.

He was dressed in a network humor shirt un-funny.
His hand was inside my desktop un-running.
A miasma of cables atop of my desk
And a gutted PC chassis laid out in a mess.

His eyes-how dead to the world I could not see
His complexion was wan as moon reflected on sea.
Stringy long hair and glasses to boot,
Un-dated? Un-washed? Those questions were moot.

The can of Red Bull held tight in his fist
And crumbs of past Fritos alit on his chest.
He had a broad girth and ill-fitting clothes
The rode up in places that should not be exposed

He was stuffy and standoffish, offensive and dreary
Talking to him while he worked made me feel weary
A dull unhappy look and curse of BSG “Frak!”
I was sure that my net access was not coming back.

He quizzed me on Stargate, while bent at his work,
And derided my sci-fi knowledge, the odious jerk!
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the nasal chimney it rose!

He wiped his finger on pants quite abhorrent,
And away he filed past me in a nerd huffy torrent.
I heard him exclaim under his breath as he passed,
“You should have saved early and often you pompous dumbass”

To recap:
No IT professionals were harmed in the bastardization of this poem
It is clearly forced in some areas, but what can you do?
Happy Holidays everyone
Especially the IT pros out there
Listening to the last dregs of the worker cogs get ready to go home for the holiday
This post is posthumously dedicated to Lord Pithy
Yes, posthumously... come up with a less grandiose name, Lord Pithy takes too long to type
Since I am not posting on Christmas
Have a great weekend as well

20 Questions Tuesday: 122 - Christmas Cards... The Revenge

Here it is:

Twas the 20 Questions before Christmas
And all through the blog
Not an author was posting
Drunk on Egg-Nog

Anyhoo… This post is the extension and, shall we say “culmination?” of last week’s 20 Questions Tuesday concerning Christmas Cards. Thanks this week go to John P, Nadolny, Atmikha, and Wifey.

Onto the questions:
1. What is your market share at this time vs. Hallmark?
I have 0 shares of Hallmark or against Hallmark.

2. What is the appropriate amount of time to keep a Christmas card before you can discard?
12 Days.

3. Is Little Man at the stage of signing his own name?
He loves to write his own name. It is pretty cool to watch

4. Do you have joint input with Tuesday for this year’s card or is it pretty much up to you as the designer?
There was more permission granted than input. She did get the editorial duties though to make sure that it looked correct, and she always retained veto power.

5. Will you be releasing a collector’s series of Christmas cards in the near future? Maybe a where’s Waldo type version?
Probably not. We have only been doing Christmas cards like this for about 5 years now. IT would be a pretty short book to say the least.

6. So e-cards or snail mail? (I know the lazy factor bends towards email)
Honestly, with how few people actually care about the physical manifestation of Christmas cards, we really feel that e-cards are the way to go. If more people treasured the gift of a physical card we might be more inclined to print them out and mail them, but in our small survey of friends and family, no one kept Christmas cards, even the ones that they found clever or especially poingiant.

7. Do you think e-cards are more impersonal?
I think e-cards are no more impersonal than physical cards that do not have a personal note scrawled in them. E-cards are no more impersonal than any mass copied Christmas letter stuffed into mass produced cards.

8. Holiday letters. TMI? Anyone you'd like a little more info from?
I think holiday letters can be lots of fun. They either need to be general enough to be mildly informative or focused on a single detail enough to be entertaining. I think they become a bit cumbersome when they lie betwixt those two categories. There are always people that I want to have more info about… but there are some I want no info about at all.

9. How many realllly late xmas cards do you get?
About 5 or 6.

10. At what point should folks say, well crap, I missed this year, no reason to send them out now?
As long as they acknowledge how late the card is, they could send it in July for all I care. Christmas cards are a simple way of showing others that you are still alive.

11. Do you prefer photos or artwork?
Depends on the photographer and/or the artist. For example our card this year was photography and art, at the same time.

12. Tastefully displayed, or hastily piled?
A little of Column A and a little of Column B

13. Should people who send Thanksgiving Cards be punished?
Nope, I think they should be commended.

14. Are holidays like Valentine's Day, and Secretary's Day invented by Hallmark?
Valentine’s Day: No
Secretary’s Day/Boss’s Day/Sweetest’s Day/etc…: Yes

15. Newsletters: Yes? No? No (but secretly yes)?
Why not? (Secretly, I especially love the self-delusional newsletters.)

16. Christmas cards - do you even care? I mean, you're a boy...I'm the one who reads the ones who come in...I'm the one who makes you design one each year for our family...I'm the one who is apparently a little bitter...
I don’t care too much, no. See how much I love you?

17. Garfield Christmas cards: is Garfield in a Santa hat any funnier?
Is he eating lasagna?

18. Do you send any Christmas cards for obligation not for love? Who to? Why?
Yes, to many of the fam, because they are fam.

19. Tell me about the Christmas "letter" folks - are they trying to update us or brag on their fat cat lives?
I think they are most likely bragging… but I have seen their kids and they are not that cute and their cats are not that funny either. Bunch of blowhards, the lot of them

20. Is there anything you wish you had done differently for the Christmas Card 2008?
Yes, the gutters between the images are a bit wide, and I think I would have liked to splice the pics into the text a bit more and make it a bit more storylike.


To Recap:
Not nearly as cold today
Left overs for dinner tonight
Because tomorrow starts the Christmas Feasting 08
Any preferences on the capitalization of the word “recap?”
To recap:
Or
To Recap:
Which do you like?
Probably should have asked before year 3+ of blogging
I have 2 things left to get for a stocking
Some people have suggested a severed human foot
For the irony… of course
I am also afraid they may have a few extra laying about
Tomorrow will be the Christmas Eve blogging service
I hope you are not afraid of candles or Stille Nacht
Listening to Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

2 Things

In a feeble attempt to not haphazardly post when I feel like it, I have decided to post my typical Monday Morning Musings in my very typical 2Things fashion except I have 4 things….

Thing the First: It is difficult to plan meals out prior to the holiday feasting that takes place for the Christmas Holiday. It is both difficult and necessary. Wednesday and Thursday’s meals are already accounted for, but tonight and Tuesday need some thought. The issue is that we don’t want anything that might potentially interfere with the gastronomic success of the holiday mealings, but we don’t want to attempt a survival quest of merely bread and water either. It is a delicate balance… a delicate balance indeed. So for dinner tonight… something that doesn’t completely suck, yet isn’t too good. Sounds almost like a lunch at Arby’s…

Thing the Second: The e-cards are away! Many of fine reader has received their email card as of last night. So far I have only had 2 bounce back but that was before we lost…

Thing the Third: …our Time Warner cable bundle. Yes, we are without cable, internet, or phones. The bundle package is nice when things are going well, but when they go bad, they really go bad. Wifey is stuck at home with a little girl who is a bit snotty and a stir crazy 5 year old boy with now Diego… Sometimes, going to work is not so bad.

Thing the Fourth: Holy Shit! It was cold last night and this morning!

To recap:
Sweet Jimminy Christmas Cakes on a pine box, it was cold this morning
Did I mention cold?
I go home in a few minutes
A home with a sick infant
A home with a hyper 5 year old
Yippee?
I have re-initialized the iPod
But I have not completely reloaded the music on it
Therefore I am not listening to anything

Digital Thursday (Happy Holidays Edition)

The idea behind this year’s Christmas Card had to revolve around the concept of “four.” The SRH clan grew to that quaternary number this year and the card needed to reflect that. Since Wifey deep-sixed the idea of “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalyspe” a search for other four motifs was in order. We thought about the 4 humors (blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm), the cardinal directions, classical elements (fire, air, water, and earth), seasons, card suits, the Beatles (who would want to be Ringo?), etc… We setteled on The Fantastic Four.

The card was done in Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. The primary image work being done in Photoshop with the typography and final design layout in Illustrator. I have not changed the names on this to protect the innocent.

It took about 1 hour to do the Mr Fantastic piece. Of all of them it took the least work. I had to modify my shirt to look like a FF costume and then make a bendy neck. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy.

The Human Torch was next. That piece took about 2 hours to get together. The final file had over 10 layers with multiple effects and transparencies. Even though it took a fair amount of time and effort, it was still pretty straight forward as far as what needed to be done.

Next up was the Thing. This one took some smurfing out. What I wanted to see in the final version was pretty clear, but what steps were necessary to get there was a different story all together. This one took about 2 hours as well.

The final image to be worked on was Wifey’s Invisible Girl…. What do you do to depict someone as being invisible? This one took about 3 hours mainly because many paths taken did not lead anywhere but ruin.

The typography and design work was 2 more hours. All in all, this card is the culmination of 10 hours of diligent work.Click to embiggen

Accompanying the card will a one page letter updating folk on the family. Many of you intrepid readers will be receiving this email, so please act surprised when you click on the image.

To recap:
Nearly done with the Christmas shopping
I have not re-initialized the iPod yet
The company Christmas party is happening this afternoon
I am not going
Not sure what will be for dinner tonight
I have learned not to predict
If you would like a copy of the email and card, please email me from the contact information on my profile page
Listening to people chat at work
Have a great weekend everyone

Would you like to come up for a recap?

Just a recap today…

To recap:
The card is done and ready for Digital Thursday
My intention is to have the card emailed out prior to posting
Again, if you are interested in getting a card and I do not have your email
Send an email to me using the contact information supplied by my profile page
Taiwan is an independent country that is completely separate from China
I know this because as a kid my GI Joe action figures has “Made in Taiwan” stamped on their asses
Not “made in China” like some of my other toys
This blog is now illegal in China
Yet, soon to be wildly popular in Taiwan
I also had toys that said they were made in Hong Kong…
I miss the idea of Hong Kong
I think the British miss “their” Hong Kong” as well
My iPod randomly reset itself today
That makes me not so happy
I have slept a pretty good amount (for me) over the last few days
Why am I soooo tired then?
No Sausage Barley soup yesterday
Prolly none tonight as well
Little Man has discovered white chicken chili
It was a good discovery for him
I think that will be dinner for the evening
Bleck! I am not a fan of chili of any format
Mainly because I am not a big fan of bean based dishes
I do like green beans, however
Little Man, on the other hand, seems to be rather enamored of the slow cooked bean based slurries
I should write for a food magazine
Nothing says appetizing like “slurry”
Nothing
Did I mention that my iPod randomly reset itself?
That is annoying, to say the least
Now I am listening to my meager 8 gigs of music on the PC
Of course that music is old and decrepit
Much like my knees
And, sadly, my ankles
I am looking forward to the reactions to the Holiday/Christmas card tomorrow
It really should be enjoyable
By enjoyable I mean not for Q or Little Man
Wifey and I love them though
They have also been given the blessing of Lord Pithy
Listening to Never Never Gonna Give You Up covered by Cake

20 Questions Tuesday 121: Christmas Cards

In many ways the Christmas Card is a yearly reminder that someone is not dead yet.


Everyday for about a week, the family has been getting Christmas Cards in our daily mail. It is a nice change from the bills and spam mail that we are used to, and it leads into the 2 week topic concerning Christmas Cards.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Dr B Dawg, All Rileyed Up, Sparky, and Belsum for the questions.

On to the Questions:
1. Do you feel like you "owe" someone a card next year if they send one to you?
Sadly, sometimes I do feel as if I owe someone a card that they do not really want. Other times I think, “Well that loser just wasted some postage.

2. If a card includes pictures of someone's children, do you feel guilty throwing them away?
If I have had very little exposure to said children or if I am not close with the parents who sent the card, it doesn’t bother me overmuch. I still will most likely throw the pics away, but I will feel sad about it.

3. Do you do something specific and/or decorative with the cards you receive?
We make the mantle of or fireplace become the Holiday Mantle of Shame where people can see and ridicule all the poor saps who know us. Of course, this means they are in our house and therefore should be the target for even more ridicule and potentially even scorn.

4. It's cool that you design your own card each year, don't get me wrong, but why do you feel compelled to do it?
I love playing with Photoshop and it is a skill that I feel I am fairly good with that my job does not call on very often. So I typically enjoy the process of making a card. In my opinion it makes the card seem a bit more like it is from our family.

5. How many cards to you typically send?
In the years past it has been between 30 and 50, but really Wify is the one with this information. I make the crads, she sends them.

6. What is the family phrase for smiling on cue for the Christmas picture?
Well, Little Man is partial to “Money” and I find saying “Egg-nog” pretty frikkin hilarious, but tradition calls for “Cheese” for the entire family.

7. Did your family ever do the family portrait card or is it a new tradition for you?
My family growing up was never very good with cards. I can remember only 1 or 2 years that we actually sent cards out, so the annual process of card sending is new to me since the marriage.

8. Have you ever thought of dressing up as reindeer for the photo?
Nope, that is too expected

9. Will this year's version play A Charlie Brown Christmas?
Nope, Unless you would like to play A Charlie Brown Christmas upon receiving the card.

10. What font will you be using? Lucinda calligraphy, helvetica
This year’s card used Ananda, Comic Sans MS, and Fantique Four.

11. How many people on your Christmas card list?
On the list? Probably about 75. We cull the before we send cards out. This year, I think more people will get the cards though.

12. Do you keep a few extra lying around in case you receive cards from people you didn't initially send one to?
Typically, no. We usually have just enough for our rather tight list.

13. What is your opinion on cards that play music when you open them?
I dislike musical cards. I guess I feel like cards should be an intimate exchange between the sender and the receiver, when music plays anyone within earshot can participate.

14. What is the best use for old Christmas cards?
Kindling

15. What, no Hanukkah or kwanza cards?
Not from our household. We have a hard enough time preparing for a single day celebration. Those 2 festivals are multi-day affairs. I don’t have the stamina for multi-day holiday fetes .

16. What do you think about going paperless and sending e-cards to save trees?
Funny you should ask. This year we decided to go paperless (as much as possible… some of the relatives don’t have the email). This was a conscious decision that we made in October. No one really keeps Christmas cards and if you would like ours on your mantle, you can print it out on your own. Preventative procrastination or environmental activism? You be the judge

17. I didn’t send cards last year. Did anybody notice?
I surely didn’t…

18. Do you stop sending cards to people if they don’t send one back to you? How long do you wait before cutting them off?
It depends on the person. I do not believe we have ever gotten a Christmas Card from Capt McArmypants, but he is a guy and single and, well, he would never send anyone a card, so we send him cards regardless every year. Now some of the acquaintances that we kinda would like to send cards if we have enough get 2 years.

19. Christmas letters: a great way to catch up or annoying bragging and filler?
It really depends on if any information is really imparted by the letter. If it is not silly and funny and/or doesn’t get us caught up with a family in a touching way, it is useless to us and should be destroyed for wasting our valuable time.

20. How long do you display photo cards on your fridge (or mantle or bulletin board or wherever) before taking them down for the year?
They stay up until, at most, Martin Luther King Jr Day. They usually get pitched when the decorations get put away though.


To recap:
The card is almost done
Wifey needs to write up some text and then we are sending these bad boys out
If anyone whom I do not already pester for 20 questions would like a card, please email me through the contact information on my profile
It is no skin off our backs if you get our e-card
I think it is sausage barley soup tonight
Mmmmm sausage barley soup
Has anyone else wanted to break out into some Michael Jackson signature moves for no apparent reason in the hall of where they work?
Not that I have or anything…
Listening to With or Without You by U2
Goodness I am old

3 Things

There are basically 3 things to chat about after this weekend…umm ended. I give them to you with no conscious bias.

Thing the First:
I need to start exercising again. No only am I exponentially expanding at the moment, but my knees are getting rather loose. I have noticed during the “Q-Why-Won’t-You-Go-To-Sleep?” dance that both of my knees are all over the place (and not in a good way). It is time for me to start carving out time to go and sweat like I haven’t in a long while. I am not happy with this, but I knew that this time would come again. If I could only find some exercise that I actually liked.

Thing the Second:
It is both a good and bad thing having a grocery store just down the street from your abode. It is good because if you need one or two ingredients to finish up a recipe you don’t have to travel far. It is bad, on the other hand, because it is very easy to just jump down to the grocery store without planning a weekly meal schedule.

Between Wifey and myself, our family averages 1.5 trips to the grocery store a day. That’s right we go to the store more than once daily. When we plan out a menu for the week and go for one big trip per week we have found that we have more time to do other things that need doing, and don’t spend nearly as much. We keep saying that making weekly comprehensive grocery store trips is imperative and we need to just “do it,” but we constantly find ourselves not. That is something that needs to change.

Thing the Third:
The Christmas Card is well underway this year. In fact, it will be the subject of this week’s digital Thursday. I started work on it last night around 10pm and before I knew it, the clock had moved forward to 1:30 am. So much for good sleep. In the end, I think the card will be well worth it. Alas and alack, poor readers you shall have to wait until Thursday to peruse the holiday card for ’08.

To recap:
One thing that buying vast amounts of Christmas presents has taught me is that I eat out for lunch entirely too much
Re: Exercising: I am afraid I might have to start doing ab workouts as well
I hate ab workouts
Is there a stronger word than “hate?”
If so, that is what I do concerning ab workouts
Any guesses as to the subject matter of this year’s Christmas cards?
No guessing if you have had a peek
I will give you a hint, all four of us are in it
Individually
20 Questions Tuesday is tomorrow
Can you feel the excitement?
Listening to You’re So Damn Hot by OK Go.

Digital Thursday

Digital Thursday has come again and I have very little to show for it. Actually all I have are the digital tutorials I have been doing within Photoshop to share.

The first is a denim texture built from scratch. Openned up a blank document and used filters and effects as well as the dodge and burn tools to get the final effect.

The second is a rust texture, which I have heard from others is “OK” but lacking in the flakiness that rust typically has. I told them to make their own rust texture and leave me alone. They did… and now I am lonely.

The issue that I have had so far with the Photoshop tutorials is that they are very good at giving step by step instructions as to how one accomplishes the very specific result that the tutorial is designed to create, but the techniques defined are difficult to translate into non-denim making reasons (for example). Don’t get me wrong, it did teach me a bit about the dodge and burn tools, but other than that it was pretty much just about the denim.

The bed-time ritual tonight will most likely involve a movie night for the boy. Wifey is working until around 8 tonight and Little Man and Q will be left to my inadequacies. Goody for them. I really have not learned how to juggle the attention between the 2 kids as of yet. It seems so far that as I focus on one the other needs attention. It is a tough act, and I do not feel it is okay to say to either kid, “Suck it up, buttercup” just yet. Although, Little Man has done his share of sucking it up.

To recap:
Luckily there is food to be eaten at the house
Because I would like dinner
Yes, dinner sounds nice
Something with leftover brats or maybe a cheap pizza
Prolly the former
There is a better chance of being able to eat a leftover brat and rice or something than the chance of wolfing down a frozen ‘za
Did you see that? I just coined a new slang term for pizza
I am soooo street
Wait, the “soooo” cancelled out the streetness of “’za,” didn’t it?
And by “streetness” I do mean suburban middle class middle aged white guy version of street
Listening to Wallflowers by MC Frontalot
Have a great weekend everyone

No overlap

So… all the stuff that needed to get done yesterday is, well, done. That unfortunately leaves me with nothing productive to do at work. Some might think that this would lead to mischief and mayhem, but some don’t realize just how lazy I am. Mischief takes planning and mayhem takes effort. On the days that I have one, the other is missing. On the days that I have both, there is other stuff that must be done. It is the way of life.

Now I am sitting at my desk with very little to do and even less motivation to get it done. In many ways it has become a contest between my lack of motivation and the few tasks that need to be accomplished. This particular competition is scored much like golf.

I think the biggest problem with the tasks that I have waiting for me is that they are supposedly skill building, but they are about building skills that should remain dormant and unexplored. Database management systems? Yeee-uck… CADD software training? That is not my cup-o-tea. If the personal skill set building revolved around color theory or zombie slaying I would do the exercises twice. I guess that is one of the biggest issues I have with the working world. The skills that work would like me to build do not cross-over with the skills I would like to build for myself. Work tends to reward those that help the collective abilities of the company while I am more interested in how to level up my hunter in World of Warcraft (turns out it is bby playing more, btw.) This disconnect between the skills that I want to hone and the ones that my work would like me to build make me question if I am in the correct field.

Then again I wonder what field is there in the Columbus, Ohio area that I could dial into with my not-so-great comic book drawing skills, mediocre video gaming skilz, and amazing map making abilities. Methinks that vocation does nigh existe.

To recap:
I think I slept wrong last night
My neck hurts today
The crew made a big mistake not offering Sigi what he wanted
I guess I can find some new Photoshop tutorials
I made some denim the other day
Digital denim
Issues gleaned from that tutorial?
Dodge and burn
Dodge and burn, baby
Listening to Pool Party by the Aquabats!
You don’t even know, dude
There’s gonna be food and girls
And more food
And Mike Tarrudo’s coming

20 Questions Tuesday: 120 - Holiday Season

Since the holiday season is upon us, it only seems appropriate that I give some 20 Question Tuesday time to the topic of the Holidays. This week’s thanks go out to John P, Capt. McArmypants, Mr X, and Nobody Squared.

So without further ado, here come the questions:

1. What holidays do the hippopotami celebrate? Probably something centered on rivers and the water I’m sure.
It is not so much of a “holiday” as just a happy day for the hippopotami, but the first day of flooding is always a nice day for them. That is the day that all their vast amounts of excrement gets washed waaaay downstream by the floodwaters.

2. Are there any atypical holidays you and yours celebrate? Arbor Day, etc.
Yep, Loving Day. It is June 12th, and it is very important, and it is one way to educate people about marriage rights and how much inequity is systematic but changeable.

3. Who in the family is the worst about snooping around for presents?
Probably me, but that is only because Little Man hasn’t figured out how to be truly devious yet… he is getting there though.

4. Are you a holiday decorations fanatic, middle of the road, or low key?
We are pretty middle of the ground when it comes to holiday décor. We used to go hog wild for the Christmas Season, but the pitter-patter of little feet will change those habits really fast.

5. What was with the Thanksgiving Day parade? I haven’t watched in a while but it seemed like one big long commercial for the sponsors.
Well, I assume that is the only way it can survive. It is one of the few events broadcast by multiple companies that does not involve politics in some way shape or form. I am certain the only way it has survived for as long as it has in our fickle cultural landscape is due to its advertising.

6. If you could create your own holiday what would it be and what would the celebrations entail? (would bacon be involved?)
SRH Day? Hmmmm… It would need to be a federal holiday to keep me from going to work that day and I am certain that festivities would involve doughnuts, bacon, ranch dressing, and root beer, but not all in one sitting.

7. Christmas lights are my favorite Christmas "bell & whistle", it totally sets me in a Christmas mood. What thing is your favorite Christmas "bell & whistle"?
I think when I hear Jingle Bells the first time of the season. This year Little Man sang it to me to ring in the Christmas Season. Then I sang it with him. Then I told him to be quiet and go to bed.

8. Holidays seem more lack luster and less meaningful than they did "back in my day". I mean it seems that people are just insular, ungrateful and rude all year now, I could have sworn that people used to lighten up for Christmas and maybe Thanksgiving. (Being in my 30's, I missed the time in U.S. history when people were nicer during any of the summer holidays.) Is that a by product of THE age, MY age or just me regardless of age?
I think it primarily has to do with YOU more than YOUR age or THE age, but I think all three have factors that contribute to decline in Christmas cheer.

9. Usually, I, like most of my gender, fulfill the male SOP (standard operating procedure) of "buy everything that might pass for gift" about a month before Christmas. Please explain this self-destructive phenomena. It seems counter to my own interest, but there it is. I know I am not alone in this.
Ummm… the typical SOP for men is to wait until Christmas Eve and see what is on sale at the 24 hour Wal-Mart. You, Sir, are an odd duck.

10. So what is the most B.S. Holiday? I hate National Boss's Day the most because it usually results in several violations of the Joint Ethics Regulations of the United States, but there are many to choose from, which do you feel is the most idiotic.
Well, I think I am going to be a stickler for the term “Holiday.” In my definition, “holiday” is a day that we get off from working. This limits the number of “named” days to a handful to choose from. With that criteria, it becomes a toss up between Washington’s Birthday and Columbus Day. I chose those 2 days because there are no celebratory fests associated with them other than a sale at Kohl’s.

11. Knowing what you know now, what Christmas toys would you have not asked for. I mean what seemed sooooo AWESOME in the box and about 30 minutes of fun out of the box and then you just played with them every now and then for political reasons?
I really did not have super extravagant Christmases as a kid. I got a skateboard one year that never really worked out for me. That’s the best I got for this question.

12. One SRH household tradition around the Christmas Season.
There are always cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning. Cinnamon and brown sugar are nice ways to celebrate.

13. Okay another SRH Household tradition around the Christmas Season.
Okay… I will give you a couple and they all revolve around food. On Christmas Eve, we have Shrimp Fettuccini in a basil and olive oil sauce. It is not a true pesto since there is no cheese involved. On Christmas Day we have a standing rib roast for Christmas Dinner. Don’t you all wish that you were part of the SRH household Christmas meals?

14. Favorite incarnation of Santa Claus?
Hmmm… I am not sure if you mean portrayal or cultural figure. I will go with cultural figure. I like the Finnish, Joulupukki, because he started out as a malevolent spirit that demanded gifts instead of giving them.

15. Do you have all your Christmas shopping done?
Nope, not even hardly.

16. Favorite Christmas Song?
Hmmm…. I like Jingle Bells. As stated above, it makes me think of Christmas and it makes me smile. Little Man is much more sophisticated. He is very much into John Lennon’s Happy Christmas. Kid’s got good taste.

17. What is Little Man getting this year?
Little Man will be making out like a bandit. There will be much loot for him under the tree, but I will refrain from telling about what he is getting. Some secrets are sacred.

18. Any traditions from Wifey that you thought were odd?
I have no idea why she wants to wait and wait and wait to open gifts on Christmas morning. She is all about prolonging the suspense of opening the gifts and the awe and wonder that may lurk inside the different packages, whereas I am much more about getting more time to do stuff with the presents.

19. What does Q think of the Christmas décor?
She is quite enamored with the lights on the tree. In fact, the lights on the tree seem to keep her from going to sleep when we are trying to rock her. And I am pretty sure she would love to gnaw on many an ornament hanging in the house.

20. Do we get to see this year’s Christmas Card?
Yes, in fact this weekend I will be attempting to get the card created. Even though it would be much better with the Four SRH Horsemen of the Apocalypse wishing you a Merry Christmas we will figure something else out.


To recap:
Working diligently today
It is an odd occurrence to say the least
I have many things that yet have to get done
By “many” I mean 3
One of which is drink a Mt Dew
It is a very exacting “To Do:” list
There were 9 items on the list
There are only 3 left, one of which is drink Mt Dew
I am blazing trails today
Listening to Joss Stone belting out Some Kind of Wonderful from the Soul Sessions

Special Agent?

Even in the off-peak Chuck E Cheese is hell on earth.

This weekend Little Man had a birthday party to go to at the local (notice not low-cal) Chuck E Cheese. The party started at 10:30 am on Saturday and there wasn’t an end time given on the invite. I guess that party could have lasted forever.

Little Man had a great time with the general mayhem that accompanies a trip to “the Cheese,” but his papa was not a happy camper. It was nice for the first hour or so because it was not too terribly busy, but around noon the legions arrived in droves demanding their pizza and their fun.
By the end of my penance for what could only have been some kind of heinous double bludgeoning murder of orphaned nuns by a club made entirely of wet and sick kittens (that is the only crime I can think of that would merit such torturous penance), there was a 3 deep wait for the air-hockey table. Did you know that even if no one scores (best 7 of 12) the game will shut down after 15 minutes of unresolved game play? I did not know that gem of a fact until the 2 kids in front of Little Man and I couldn’t get past 3 to 2 for 15 minutes. 15 minutes of frustratingly unproductive puckwork later and Little Man and I were air-hockeying. 2 scores later Little Man said, “I am done with this” and put his puck-hitting-thingy on the table and walked away. I mentioned that I was in Hell, correct?

The whole time I was in this experience I could not help but remember a career day that was held at my high school whilst I was young, vibrant, and significantly less cynical.

…Cue wavy transition with ethereal music…

The man was there telling us about the FBI. That is right, the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He told us about all the cool stuff that the FBI did such as hunting down fugitives, stopping terrorists both international and domestic, defeating organized crime, etc… He went through all the requirements that must be met to place the title “Agent” in front of your last name. College education, background check, rigorous physicals, etc… and 2 years full time employment doing something professional.

We asked Agent Johnston what his 2 years full time experience was. Was he a cop? Did he work in investment banking? Just what did this highly qualified individual do prior to making or country safer from threats domestic and abroad? He hemmed and hawed about what his experience was, and that it really did not matter what the employment was, just as long as it was full time for 2 years straight. So he was not a cop. Did he work in a warehouse? Was he a construction worker? A legal aid? A file clerk? A mail room employee for a corporation? Again he attempted to focus us on the letter of the requirement more than the type of job.

He almost broke down when he sullenly informed us of his previous full time employment. It turns out that Agent Johnston spent a full 2 years at a Chuck E Cheese as the Big Cheese himself. I wonder how Agent Johnston got the crap assignment of a high school career fair. I can only imagine that his colleagues and direct supervisors decided that Agent Chuck E Cheese would be perfect for the crap assignments.

…Cue wavy transition with ethereal music…

The only thing more akin to the actual fire and brimstone of the legendary hell would be a Chuck E Cheese in Akron, Ohio.

To recap:
Chuck E Cheese is an evil place inhabited by demons
Starting on some holiday themed 20 Questions Tuesdays tomorrow
I think it will take a week or so of ice and snow on the ground for the local drivers to get used to snow and ice again
I have work that I am ignoring at the moment
I need to get back to that stuff
And soon
Listening to “The Pretender” by the Foo Fighters.

Digital Thursday

So last week I did not post my ready to publish Digital Thursday piece of work because some sort of family thing came up. Therefore this week I am posting last week’s Digital Thursday thus making it this week’s Digital Thursday.

Last week I was going to merely show you my entry to the November Cartographer’s Guild mapping Challenge, but this week I am showing you the WINNING ENTRY FROM THE NOVEMBER CARTOGRAPHER”S GUILD MAPPING CHALLENGE!

That’s right; today you will gaze upon winningness.

Here is the winning entry for the Novemeber Challenge over at the Cartographer's Guild. The Challenge was to:

Quote:

Whether you are "Lost in Space", "Pigs in Space", or colonizing the "Spore Universe", what the intrepid space farer really needs is a decent map.

The challenge this month is to create an orbital map, star-system map or even a quadrant map. A map as large as an entire galaxy, or the immediate environment surrounding a planet or star system.

Not just any old political map... this is intended to be a traveler's map (not a Traveller map) to aid in "getting there", where ever there may be.

Sharpen up your lightstylus, put a fresh coat of paint on the Tardis, and prepare to beam up...

Entries should be in by no later than November 25, 2008.

Good Luck!!

The idea behind this one actually came from a Star Wars mock-up of an "Imperial Credit". That graphic is completely badass. I tried to approach the same level of badassery, but I know that I came up short, and that is ok because this map has made me better for doing it. There are already some techniques to this one that I will incorporate into my work maps and other pieces that I know how to do better now.

The other idea behind this map was to do it with a single ink in mind, as if it had been done as an intaglio print. The process took a while, but it would have been insanely time consuming by hand. Thank you vector illustration programs. The portraits in the bottom corners really started out the feel of the map. Lots of crosshatching and pen and ink techniques on them. Everything else was done in illustrator. I only pulled it into Photoshop at the end to add the shaded relief of the border elements.

The map is designed to print at an ANSI D size (24 in x 34in) or a 2 x 3. The initial work in PS was done at 200 dpi, but the posted version is only 100 dpi so it would post.



To recap:
Q doesn’t like eating for anyone other than Wifey
That is quite the burden for any mama to bear
Might try to make sausage and stuffing casserole tonight for dinner
It has been a few days since I have eaten sausage stuffing casserole
I have some work associated with the city of Cleveland that I am doing my best not to work on
Most of my emails of late have not been specifically for me
I am a person and I deserve personal emails
I am tired and all yawny
Which is markedly different than being tired and all Yanni
That means you are trite and boring to listen to
Whereas I am merely sleepy
Don’t disavow me of that notion
Listening to No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age
Have a great weekend everyone

Failed Post beginnings

I type with only five fingers. Truly it is only four fingers but I use the left thumb as a prop so I count it.

I kind of miss the Yeti. He has not contacted me in well over a year, so I can only assume that he is dead and the inheritance shall be all mine.

I get more and more emails from people I don’t know because of this blog.

Little Man has taken his fight with sleep to new heights, and it seems that he has enlisted his nose into the fight.

Sometimes when I cannot think of a topic to write on, I call Wifey. Sometimes I just sit and wait for inspiration. Wifey is much more effective.

The problem with being mauled by a vampire bear is that if one is not ursine in nature one does not enter the realm of the undead, one is just plain old dead… horribly disfigured-ly disgustingly bloodlessly dead.

Coming up with ideas for Christmas presents is not nearly as easy as it was when I collected and played with toys as a kid.

Almost dozing off at your desk whilst at work is bad. Almost dozing off at you desk whilst at work in a meeting with your boss is a political statement.

I need to make the family Christmas Cards soon and Wifey doesn’t want me to focus the family as the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. What’s the point of having 4 family members if you can’t make them look like War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death on a holiday card?

Little Man has turned a corner on kids TV programming and I am not sure I like it.

Of all the natural hazards out there, none are so amazingly un-sexy as “slump.”

Looking back on it, I would be much richer if I were paid more.

What I don’t understand about lightsabers is

There is not enough time in the day to get everything done.

Little Man likes the show Extreme Trains on the History Channel. I define “likes” as “constantly obsesses about” in this instance.

Being famous would be nice, especially concerning free shit.

To recap:
I could have made this a recap post
I am so stupid
I hate flossing
Those tow statements are separate statements
They should not be read as “I am so stupid, I hate flossing”
Even though it may be what you think there is no provable causality indicated
Listening to Let it Die by the Foo Fighters

20 9 Questions Tuesday: 119 - Scheduling Conflicts

Here it is Tuesday again. It seems like just a week ago it was Tuesday. Anyhoo… I have been a bit more sporadic in my posting lately due to some outside influences on my attention span, but it all boils down to scheduling. Therefore this week’s poorly attended topic is scheduling. Poor scheduling on my part? I think so. Anyway, I got 9 total questions about schedules and I think 3 of those were about pronunciation.

Anyway… thanks this week go to ACW, Peefer, Capt McArmypants, and Kim.

Onto the questions:
1. Can I get back to you on this?
Nope, this is kind of a one shot pony here. There were not even enough questions for a single 20Q’sTues, much less drag it along for multiple weeks. You lost out, bud.

2. One question: skeh-jule or sheh-jule?
One answer: depends. (hey, I have to draw this answer out. 2 more people asked about it).

3. Schedule sounds more important when pronounced SHHHHHHH-edyool. Why don't we Mericans all use that pronunciation?
Because we tend to the more Germanic pronunciations of words. What can I say? Mericans like the “hard K.”

4. What does scheduling mean to you? I mean do you have a firm "at 12 I eat lunch, at 15 after I take a break" type scheduler or are you more of an itinerary type of guy?
Scheduling for me is usually a loose framework. I am much more of an itinerary kind of guy, but I understand that some times a strict schedule is necessary.

5. I have started using Outlook calendar that reminds me of events and meetings and a GPS to get to the meeting, I see this trend going one of two ways. Technology is taking more and more of the mundane thinking away and I can't decide if I want technology to finish me off and allow me to operate on auto pilot while I play video games in my head or go away entirely before I become a robot. Comments or suggestions?
BTW, what level are you on for the mental Tetris game you have going on right now? I think a Blackberry with calendar and a GPS device is only a small price to pay for your ability to function is a tightly scheduled world.

6. How can pipe have a schedule?
I did not realize that they did?

7. When you were first allowed to pick your own schedule in College did you try and follow the subject or the 3 to 4 day weekend? How did that work out?
I didn’t mind a full 5 day week as much as having class before 9 a.m. I was able to steer myself mostly away from the morning classes, but a bunch of upper level math courses resided in the 7:45 a.m. slots. Jerks. Who can do higher level math at 7:45 in the morning? No one, that’s who.

8. The other day, I was chatting with a Brit. I kept asking him to repeat himself when he was saying "sheh-jul". I didn't know what the bloody hell he meant. Finally, I realized the arse was saying "schedule". why didn't he just say that? Does the British pronunciation of the word bother you as much as it does me?
It doesn’t bother me too much when there is an audible “d” in the word. If, as you report, the bloke was pronouncing it “sheh-jul” I would probably want to gut him and wear his skin as a suit, but if there was an audible “d” that you are just not mentioning, I would probably get him a beer.

9. Why do we bother using Gantt charts when the final due date never changes??? Is it so that we can visually see how screwed we are?
I don’t understand why Gantt charts are even toyed with. There has not been a project yet that has actually followed the proposed Gantt timeline. The due date should have “-ish” after the date and the Gantt should be one big bar with a question mark inside of it.


Well, that is it. I am 11 questions short and my headache is telling me not to worry about them.
To recap:
My head is really bothering me
Wifey is having some kind of hoot-nanny tonight that requires me to be away
Her hoot-nannies should require me to play World of Warcraft
I think I will take Little Man to get Mama and Q Christmas presents and some desert
Not necessarily in that order
Stupid headache and it is my own darn fault too
I should have slept last night
Instead I stayed up too late not sleeping
Listening to Danger Woman by The Aquabats!

2 Things

The problem with posting a blog that you do not want family to read is that when they are around doing family stuff in your house, you cannot even pretend to put together a blog post. Especially when the family that is staying with you at your house are two computer savvy nephews. One of whom would not allow anything to happen on the computer without his enraptured attention.

Needless to say Thursday’s post did not happen due to lethargy generated by digesting waaaay too much food and a determined avoidance of all things bloggy to throw the nephews off the scent.

Thant being said there are 2 things to chat about today.

Thing the First:
Even though Thanksgiving is colloquially referred to as “Turkey Day” over here, the day is more about the ham to me. Well, ham and mashed potatoes. I dined on ham and mashed potatoes for 4 days straight. Now I am tired of ham and mashed potatoes, but that is a matter for another day. If there had been more sausage stuffing casserole, it would have been consumed as well. Truth be told, I am not so much for the turkey. I like the trimmings around the turkey, but the turkey itself is not that much of a draw for me.

Our menu included turkey, ham, sausage stuffing casserole, green beans, mashed potatoes, regular old stuffing, stuffing from inside the bird, 2 kinds of bread, cranberry salad, pumpkin pie and I am sure some other food I have forgotten.

A good time was had by all, but mostly by Little Man who was beside himself with glee through out the entire eating festivities. He was in heaven eating food he likes and surrounded by family who love him.

Thing the Second:
Most of the Christmas presents have been purchased for the fam. All that is left for the SRH household is one gift from Wifey to SRH and one gift from SRH to Wifey. Wifey diligently attempted to bolster our flagging economy by getting all the presents done this weekend. You hear me Wall Street! The DOW should go up 300 points on that fact alone.

As it is Wifey and I are left with the dubious task of figuring out what we want to get for each other.

To recap:
I just won the most recent Monthly Cartographer’s Challenge over at the Cartography Guild
This win surprises me a bit
I will post my map for this upcoming Digital Thursday
Now you want to come back on Thurs to see the award winning map
I am sure of it
Been watching a bunch of Nova's (Novas? Novae? Nova Shows? Episodes of Nova) on PBS lately
PBS can throw together some good old fashioned butt kicking documentaries
I watched something on choatic dynamical systems
And then I watched something on the genesis of monotheism
Get it?… genesis?… monotheism?… I crack myself up
Fascinating stuff really
Listening to the Roots singing Lovely, Love my Family from Yo Gabba Gabba
Any show that can get the Roots to perform for kids is a good show
No matter how much All Rileyed Up may not like the show