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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

And not a Spiderman in sight...

There are few words that are actually feared in the corporate world. There are words that instantly instill unbridled terror: downsizing… restructuring… company picnic. These kinds of words cause many a heart to burst, many a psyche to withdraw, and many a career to end. There are other words in the corporate world that instill a more ephemeral fear. They create a fear that is more mixed with loathing than with abject terror. Today dear blog readers, I will talk about one of these words… one these despicable corporate words… a word that induces eye clawing and teeth gnashing. Today, I shall bring forth the corporate word, WEBINAR!

Webinar is not a cartoon barbarian found in the distant future on an Earth that has been devastated by a runaway planet. That is Thundarr. No, a webinar is a seminar that is presented over the Internet or the World Wide Web. Web + seminar = Webinar.

Webinars typically do not present any earth-shattering (or moon shattering in the case of Thundarr) information. They are not used for presenting any kind of results to “real” research or studies. Webinars are a perfect vehicle for imparting intuitively obvious information in a wonderful PowerPoint presentation. Webinars are typically wastes of time with really intriguing titles.

Today’s webinar (1 1/2 hours of my life that I cannot get back, thank you very much) was on how land use planning and transportation planning should be integrated before decisions should be made about a community’s future growth. Now the webinar did not say HOW one should integrate land use and transportation. It just stated THAT those 2 topics should be integrated. Well thank you very much.

Words and phrases that are usually said during a webinar:

Synergy: check
Paradigm Shift: check
Growth Industry: check
Integrated Solution: check
Best Practices: check
Leverage: check


I though “webinar” referred to learning how to shoot webs and fly around the city a la Spiderman. I was sadly wrong. Tomorrow’s webinar is about Public Involvement. I am sure it will synergize public involvement into a integrated solution to leverage transportation planning as a growth industry by focusing on best practices and generating a paradigm shift in how consultants and clients interface with the public. Positive of it in fact.

To recap:
Little Man is going back on the Orapred
I cannot say that I am happy about that
I get it, but I am not happy about it
I need vast amounts of sleep
They shall not be forthcoming in the near future
Wifey gets home tonight
And none too soon
Her trip to Michigan was definitely worthwhile
That’s a sentence you don’t hear too often
Digital Thursday tomorrow, I hope to have something for you to see

5 comments:

  1. Speaking of training, I can't imagine how you are doing a remodel without sleep or child care.
    I try, but I can't.
    Does it involve duct tape?
    Atmikha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh! I just had a webinar too!

    I actually learned something, in fact.

    What I learned is that people have the capacity to take themselves seriously EVEN WHEN they push lingo on us like, "the centralized/decentralized business model."

    That was two days ago, and I haven't been able to concentrate on my job ever since.

    What's with this world?

    ReplyDelete
  3. hey, why ya gotta hate on michigan?

    ReplyDelete
  4. All I ever get are canned webinars foisted on me by higher ups.

    :: sigh ::

    ReplyDelete
  5. Atmikha:
    Contractor... and duct tape.

    Peefer:
    Oddly we learned about the centralized/decentralized landuse model on Wednesday.

    Karen:
    For comments just like this

    Dustin:
    Wow, hand me down Webinars, that is pretty shitty

    ReplyDelete