10 Things

10 Things from the weekend.

Thing the first: Little Man was tired of me by this weekend

Most often heard phrases from Little Man from Thursday night on through Sunday afternoon.

Where Mama?
When Mama home?
Mama be back in the morning?
Mama home soon?
Is Mim coming over?
No, I stay with Mim today.

Thing the second: Wifey is still exhausted from the weekend

It seems that a conference that starts at 7 am and does not finish until 8-9 pm is “tiring,” especially when the conference is all about having difficult conversations. Add to her weariness the fact that she then went to have drunken conversations with folk afterward. Throw into the mix her slumber party-esque late night conversations with ZingerZapper and her inability to deal with a rather minor “sleep debt.” The final result is a woman who goes to sleep Sunday night at 7 pm even though she hadn’t seen her family in 3.5 days.

Thing the third: Fulham Football Club is stinking up the joint

They just should not be in the relegation battle. They should be a mid-table team not a bottom feeder. No wins in the last 10 games begs to differ with me. Volz? WTF??!?!?

Thing the fourth: The Crew finally win one

Sure they had to rely on a 87 year old full-back to put it in, (I am looking at you forwards!) but a win is a win is a win. And maybe we should look at killing the clock when there is less than 10 minutes of play left guys. That corner with 15 minutes left should have been a look at goal.

Thing the fifth: Yeah, I just gave out 2 soccer references

I like soccer, what can I say?

Thing the sixth: I have a hard time sleeping without Wifey there

It just is not comfortable without her there. She has a sleeping presence, while snorty, that is quite comfortable and absolutely necessary for my own sonorous slumber.

Thing the seventh: I am completely unmotivated to do stuff

I mean anything. This weekend I had plenty of “opportunity” to do laundry, clean, etc… of which I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nada.

Thing the eighth: California Piza Kitchen is a Mimma and Little Man thing

I went to CPK with Mim and Little Man on Saturday, and I have never ever felt so much like a 5 th wheel. They have their experience there down to a science and I was not a welcome addition. Really, I think it would have been better for all involved had I NOT been there. I am saying this from the stand point of finding it absolutely hilarious. Poor poor Mim, I was not allowed help him even a little bit, even when I was done eating he would not let me help him. CPK is their thing.

Thing the ninth: I am rather tired of Orange Rice

Friday night was our weekly installment of Orange Rice. IT is something that we have nearly every week. I am soooooo tired of it. This time I made it with ground turkey and Penzy’s “Buttermilk Ranch Dressing” mix. There is no dairy in it and it ranches things up really nicely. I know those are minor twists, but it needed a twist. I wish we could start spacing the meal out more than weekly and at most bi-weekly, but Little Man loves it and that really is all that matters.

Thing the tenth: I am surprised I made it to nine

Really, I usually struggle to think of 3 things that happened over the weekend. The fact that I came up with a solid 8 and a weak 10 is pretty amazing.

To recap:
I have work I am completely ignoring right now
I have non-work stuff that I am completely ignoring right now
Basically I am all about the ignoring right now
La la la la la I’m not listening!!!
Where was I?
Oh Yes, recapping
Ummm, noty much to recap about
Tomorrow’s 20 questions will be about sound
It should be good
I know I am looking forward to it
No really
If it means not doing stuff I am supposed to be doing
Zinger Zapper asked Wifey to "feel her tumor" this weekend
She never asks me to "feel her tumor"

G: 7 of 26

The letter G is the 7 th letter in the English alphabet. It is one of those letters that would be very noticeable if it were not available to use. I asked Wifey last night what letter today would be about and she immediately said, “G.” She said that she chose G because she was going to be “Gone all weekend.” She is bitter like that. Without further ado…

G: A, B, C, D, E, F, … G! Goat. Girl. Goo-goo goggles. G… g… G

I have found that this process of coming up with a representative word for every letter of the alphabet is difficult at best. So far, out of the 6 letters I have worked with in the Increasingly Random Alphabet of SRH and His blog, only 3 of them have been easy to come up with a definitive word. G is one of these difficult to come up with ones. Of all 26 letters I have not figured out 7 words. G rests firmly within this category of “undetermined.”

It took some real thinking to come up with it, but I think for me G is for Grape Soda.

I know I have waxed eloquent before about the joys of the grape soda, but I will endeavor to do so again. Previously I went into different brands of grape sodas and how I liked them, today’s post will focus solely on what a grape soda means to me and why they are an integral part of my life. Without even further ado…

I had my first grape soda when I was in Venice, Florida with my grandpa on my father’s side. I think I was 7 or 8 at the time. I liked grape suckers (who remembers Dum Dum’s?), I liked grape Jelly. I liked other grape candies. I did not like grapes, for they did not seem all that grape flavored to me and I studiously avoided fruit as a child and sadly as an adult. Anyway, prior to the grape soda I had with Grandpa H, I had only been exposed to the 2 main colas and Sprite. When the first drop of soda hit my tongue, I knew that my relationship with soft drinks had been permanently altered. Now there was a drink I would actually crave.

When we made our way back to Birmingham from that fateful trip to Florida I had a new mission. That mission was to make grape sodas part of my everyday existence. Luckily, at the time there was a local bottling plant in Birmingham that made it’s own grape soda. Buffalo Rock Bottling Company was the proud manufacturer of Grapico. I think Grapico was a less than clever word play of Pepsico and Grape. Well played Buffalo Rock, well played indeed.

Today when I drink a grape soft drink (by the way I am quite the drink snob. I like bottles… not cans. It can be plastic bottles, but I prefer the glass bottles. It just tastes better without the addition of the aluminum aftertaste) it takes me back to a more carefree time in my life.

A time when I thought that my parents were typical. A time when I thought that those skinny assed tiny crappy meat breakfast pork chops were the only kind of pork chops in existence. A time where I thought that since my parents didn’t want cable TV, that people who had it were being extravagant. A time where I thought that to be in good health my leg length should be longer than my waist size. I swear in junior high school some of my jeans were painted on. I was soooooo happy when baggy jeans came about.

Grape soda for me accompanied cream horns as a snack. (Not that many cream horns mind you...) Grape soda was an afternoon treat when I watched GI Joe, Transformers, DuckTales, Looney Tunes, and other afternoon cartoons (Thundercats, Bravestar {Shudder}, Silverhawks {double shudder}, et al…). Grape soda was the drink of homework completion celebrations. Grape Soda was comfort.

Now, grape soda is a bit bitter sweet because while it sends me into a nostalgic tailspin, but it also reminds me of the naivety of my childhood and the vast amounts of denial I grew up with. What it all boils down to is that I dig me some grape soda. It is fizzy, it is hyper-grape flavored, it has a substantial amount of salt in it… making you want more. It is a wonderful product. Just plain wonderful.

To Recap:
I am still solo parenting it this weekend
Not looking forward to it
Speed of the PUMA!
WTF?!? Speed of the puma?
Why not speed of a cheetah?
Bravestar you make no sense
And 30-30 is just a moron
Grapico is one of the top ten search strings that lead people to this blog
They typically don’t stay
Mainly because I make fun of Alabamians
But who doesn’t
Have a great weekend everyone
I hope I will

In the Barrel

Here is the deal. I know I can survive the long weekend as a single parent with the Little Man. I have done this before and I know I will do it again. The process, on the surface, is an easy one. I merely have to keep Little Man alive for 3 nights and 3 days until Wifey gets back from her weekend long workshop. The problem is that I am in the barrel right now.

In the bar·rel (in thuh ba’ruhl): n, the state of being the most wanted parent for all mundane activities.

Yep, I am in the barrel. If Little Man wants some juice, Little Man wants papa to get him the juice. If Little Man needs to poop, Little Man wants Papa to wipe his butt. If Little Man wants “chickies,” he wants them lovingly prepared by yours truly. I am most definitely in the barrel! SRH = “In the barrel”

Please don’t take this as boasting, for Wifey is not even remotely jealous of my being in the barrel. In fact she finds it pretty funny. She has been in the barrel before. She knows what it entails. She also knows that, God willing, she will be in the barrel again at some point in the future. Her barrel-time was lucky enough to be when Little Man was not into soo many things that were sandboxy. She was unlucky enough to be in the barrel when she was still breastfeeding. If we are keeping score, I guess I am still winning. While I have to watch everything Little Man does in the sandbox and comment positively on all of his minor sandboxish feats, I do not have to deal with the boy as a parasite leaching all nutrients from my body. I try to suffer in silence, but it turns out that I am a whiner, so silence eludes you during my torment. Ergo my whining about the impending weekend to you, my dear dear Internet aquaintances.

This weekend shall entail many a trip to the kitchen to get juice. For Little Man does enjoy his juice. Basically, I expect Little Man to be all up in my grill all weekend long. All. Weekend. Long. Me and Little Man with no space between us, for 3 full days.

Mimma will spell me for a bit, but she cannot keep him from burrowing under me whilst we sleep. Little Man tends to burrow. He is definitely his mother’s child in that way. She is all contacty and burrowy while she sleeps as well. I am more of the don’t touch me whilst I am sleeping kind of sleeper. Anyway… back to the whine at hand. I will have minimal independent time this weekend and I guess that is just how it is supposed to be.

To Recap:
Wifey drops Little man off at pre-school tomorrow and then doesn’t see him until Sunday afternoon
I think I will weep at her return
I am sure Little Man will be happy to see her as well
Wish me luck blogosphere
I am going to need it
More to the Increasingly Random Alphabet of SRH tomorrow

20 Questions Tuesday: 39 - Colors (part 2)

I was surprised yesterday when I delved into my 20 Questions directory in Outlook yesterday and I did not have enough questions in the cupboard. I thought that I had some questions lying around. I was wrong. I was woefully short on color questions. So thanks this week go to Dustin, Nadolny, Atmikha, Lord Pithy, Ksig, and Wifey.

On to the questions:

1 Why are swear words referred to as "colorful" language? Does that imply that non-swear words are color-less?
I prefer the term “crude” instead of “colorful.” I am not really sure as to why they are referred to as “colorful language, but they sure as heck are. I think it does insinuate that lack of swearing is the equivalent of color-less or dull language. I find this to be in error, because when one does not rely on swear words for their anger the language is typically much more descriptive. Metaphor and hyperbole work much more effective than swearing.

2 How come now one decorates in mauve anymore?
'Cause they shouldn’t have in the first place

3 If Green is the new Black, then what is the new Green?
Oddly it is more green

4 Red Roses or Yellow Tulips?
I like both but find the tulips more pleasing to me.

5 What is the dominant color of your clan's tartan?
Hunter Green

6 Why do you think people have favorite colors?
Why do people have favorite anythings? Color is a very subjective set of ideas. Some find bright vivid colors to be very invigorating and affirming. While others find them garish and overpowering. Taste is in the eye of the beholder.

7 The Color Purple is the first movie I remember with Oprah. I actually liked her in that, but in nothing since. One thing I don’t remember, why the hell was it called The Color Purple?
Honestly, this movie is not my bag. Wifey is all over this book and movie. Word on the street is that purple symbolizes hope.

8 If feeling sad has you singing the blues, and feeling angry has you seeing red, what color is the feeling you get on Friday afternoon?
A happy yellow with splashes of orange highlights.

9 Say the company decides to remodel, and your input is requested as to your future office (not cubicle). What color scheme do you suggest?
Cool kind of sagey cucumbery green and khaki. Then the accent colors in the office could be jewel tones or savory colors. Who did I kill to actually get an office?

10 Black and white or sepia?
Sepia

11 Light red is pink, light yellow is cream, why doesn't light blue have its own word?
Cerulean, but try teaching that one to a 3.6 year old

12 Black and gold, red and silver, French blue and taupe, Sage green and ....what?
Cranberry.

13 If, as Skittles suggests, you can taste the rainbow, what flavors would you ascribe to infra-red and ultra-violet?
Infra-red would have to be peppermint while ultra-violet would be licorice.

14 Cornflower blue?

I know WTF?

15 If you were God of a world, how would you change the current color scheme of nature?
There would be more metallic colors just because I like reflections.

16 Why do humanoid aliens in the original Star Trek universe with different-colored skin have such glossy flesh?
Matte paint is difficult to get out of the pores. Ummm… I mean, “I don’t know.”

17 If oranges were poop-brown, would we have come up with a more creative name? Or would you start each morning with a big glass of poop-brown juice?
Mocha Latte anyone? I would have to say we would not have named the fruit poop-brown, but we would more likely have re-named the color, “poop-brown,” to orange. Then when we had the “oranges” no one would want to know.

18 Black & Tans. Great combination or not enough of either to make you happy?
Oddly a black and tan is the perfect combination.

19 Why is Robin’s Egg Blue and Lime Green the current color scheme (Don’t insult your lovely wife when you answer this)?
There is typically a predominantly blue color scheme that is always in vogue. At one time (80's) kountry blue was quite the rage. Hopefully Robin's Egg will stand the test of time longer.

20 What is your favorite color name for a person?
Blue or Gray although I like Azure as well.

To recap:
Wifey is heading to a conference on Thursday
I will be bacheloringt it until Sunday
With Little Man
On my own
For 3 nights
By myself
I am afraid
I am very afraid

Weak and Tight

I am getting old. Yep, I am old.

How do I know that I am old? Well, it is pretty easy for me to tell.

You see, about 3 weeks ago, I started noticing some leg pain in my right hip. It would start out soon after I got to work and only go away after I had been home for a while. I could not trace the source of this achy pain. It was quite annoying. It didn’t bother enough to keep me from exercising. In fact I was able to increase my pace regularly on the elliptical and up my weights. The ache just did not seem to go away. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. It seemed that once my day really started to get going, my right hip just started to ache, and it wasn’t until my day was done and I was dressed for bed (yes, I dress for bed you naughty people) that the hip stopped bothering me. Lather, rinse, repeat. Day in day out for nigh on 3 weeks my hip was killing me slowly.

OK, before anyone jumps to conclusions, I am not about to announce I have a tumor a la everyone wifey knows at the moment. No tumors here… of which I am aware.

OK, back to my story of agedness. I realized one fine morning as I sat down to drive me car to work that in that moment my hip started to ache. In fact, all day long I noticed that my hip really hurt more whilst I was seated. On the drive home I took out my wallet and placed it on the passenger seat of the car.

OH! SWEET! RELIEF!

My hip magically stopped aching. My days are now brighter and less full of Advil. Before anyone thinks my wallet is all plush phat with the Benjamins, I want to remind all of you that as a cartographer I am not living high off the hog with massive amounts of cashola in my pockets… /begin chest thumping: not that I don’t bring home the bacon, cause you know I bring it to tha house old skool. /end chest thumping. Turns out my wallet was really not that full of anything. I did do some minor wallet clean-up but only found 3 cards that were not everyday useful. I rarely if ever have cash on me. I only have 1 credit card other than my bank card. I have the keyless card entry for my work. I have a grocery rewards program card, 3 insurance cards, and about 6 pictures of Little Man. All in all, it was not a super fatty wallet. The issue is that I have weak and tight hips that do not like bending, flexing, or torsion… and I am slowly getting older… day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second…

To recap:
Thanks this weekend to ACW, KW, Nadolny, R, M and D, and Wifey for all your help this weekend getting the new slide out of the garage for Little Man
He absolutely loves the thing
He really likes the sandbox under it more than anything at the moment
Special thanks to Popo for helping to disassemble the monstrosity 3 weeks ago in the cold and snow
I owe you all
Popo, even more
Tomorrow is the continuation of the 20 Questions Tuesday’s Color topic
A glorious time will be had by all in the writing and the reading of the post

R: 18 of 26

Today’s installment of the Random Alphabet of SRH is the letter R. The 18 th letter of the English alphabet is a very useful letter. It is used very extensively within the English language. In fact I used it 8 times in the thirty-four words of the above three sentences and four (now five) times in this sentence alone. It is truly an indispensable letter of our modern language.

R: Big R, Little r, Rosy Robin Ross. Rosy’s going riding on her red rhinoceros.

One would think that with the Letter R being soooooo darn useful that I could come up with some word that starts with R to help illustrate to you, the anonymous reader, a better sense of who I am. The truth is that I am not that bright and I am having trouble thinking of an R-word. So, I am going to open a dictionary to the “R’s” and pick a word at random. From the Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary published waaaay back in 1988.

regardant \ri·‘gärd·ənt\ adj {MF, prp. of regarder} (1500) : looking backward over the shoulder – used of a heraldic animal

Heraldic?!? Heraldic? Okay, maybe I need to look in a more recent dictionary before the next word chosen is “rampant”. One the has the word Internet in it. The best I could find is a dictionary from 1999, The Randomhouse Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary (yes, Internet is in it).

rhe·tor·ical (ri tôr’i kél, -tor’-), adj. 1. used for mere effect. 2. marked by or tending to use bombast. 3. of, concerned with, or being rhetoric [1470—80; L (us) (Gk rhētorikós) + -AL] – rhe·tor’i·cal·ly, adv.

Yeah, I think that one will work. That one will work quite nicely. For today R is for Rhetorical. Tomorrow…. A different story

Now after I read the definition (the official definition, not the one that I had in my head from contextual clues left strewn about in the English language) of rhetorical it came to mind that most of this blog is all about the rhetorical. I typically do not write about anything of import on this here blogarooney. This blog is an exercise in writing for me. I use this platform to blather on about various nothings and very rarely touch upon anything profound or meaningful. I also tend toward the bombast, but, really, when one can tend toward bombast, shouldn’t one?

There are enough blogs out there that attempt to be more political, spiritual, or controversial than I do, and some are really really good ones at it. I do not have the time or the energy necessary to do the research necessary to appropriately write a political blog. I am not nearly spiritual or religious enough to have an uplifting spiritual blog. And without blogging about current events or politics or religion, controversy is typically minimized. I can live with that.

I like my blog to be a refuge from the politics and religion of the real world. I like to use this space for a little homespun inanity and from time to time, I want to inform the public at large about the comings and goings of Little Man and our trials and tribulations associated with his existence. These trials and tribulations take the form of asthma, food allergies, pre-school, childcare, vampire bears (I am telling you, "You, dear reader, should fear these fearsome beasts."), Yetis, etc…

So, basically, this blog is full of bombastic statements and unanswerable questions regarding nothing. There could be worse things. There could be worse things indeed.

To recap:
Still juggling those last 2 tasks
Kinda…
Little Man and I are watching a soccer game tonight for his bed-time ritual
I am really looking forward to it
He does not know about it yet
Left-overs for dinner
Although we do not have any left-overs for adults
There is a good bit of Orange Rice in the fridge, but if I go near that, there is a good chance I could lose a hand
And I need my hands
The both of them
"Strewn" is not used nearly enough in everyday language
Neither is "Yard Gnome"
The yard gnomes were strewn across the lawn like so many discarded fish.
I feel better now
My heart goes out to ZingerZapper
She knows why
Sending positive thoughts your way, Chicka
The only two off-line dictionaries I could find were 19 and 8 years old, respectively
That is just plain pitiful
Have a great weekend everyone

More than Juggling?

So this past week or so I have been juggling 6 different tasks simultaneously (aside from the typical duties associated within the normal parameters of my job and family life as both husband and father). It has been a struggle for my less than attentive and quite burned out self. I was able to cross 3 of the 6 off my list yesterday. It was a big day. The other I put to rest on Monday, but since I still had 5 things careening around my head, I figured it wasn’t worth crowing about. I am now happy to say that I have narrowed the field to juggling the merest of 2 things. This leads me to ask a very serious question…

Question: Doesn’t it take more than 2 things to really be considered juggling? When one has 2 things, one is simply carrying at that point, right? Technically, if I want to throw these 2 things from hand to hand I could, but that is not juggling, is it? I surmise that is takes at least 3 things being up in the air simultaneously for ones actions to truly be considered “juggling.”

At what point does it transcend from mere juggling into something much more grandiose? 6, 7, the first double digit – 10? One would assume a multiplicative principal would rule. At task number 6 in the air, one can add a modifier to “juggling,” like “hyper” or “mega.” Such that when one is doing 6 or more things out of the norm they are “hyper-juggling” or “mega-juggling.” (I think “hyper” works best in this case.) At 9 tasks, could it become “pre” something and at 10 could it be that new “something” other than juggling?

But what should that something be? I think I am going to need audience participation on this one. I looked at thesauri and there are no good words to substitute for more than juggling. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there is a fine line between juggling and dropping. I just don’t know what it is called when it is beyond juggling.

To recap:
I am breathing much easier with 4 of the 6 done
Now I can focus on the 2 remaining items
That I am no longer “juggling”
1 I might be dropping
But we will see if I can catch it before it hits the ground
Getting Little Man to go for a walk last night was like herding a bunch of cats
Except he didn’t bite and/or scratch me
And he LOVED the walk because he got to see 2 trains
Going in opposite directions
He talked about it for hours
Hours after his bedtime, mind you
But hours none the less
One of the engineers waved at him
The other didn’t
I almost threw a rock at him
He would have deserved it
Oh, he would have deserved it
I await your answers in comments

20 Questions Tuesday: 38 - Colors

It is that time of the week again, it is time for 20 Questions Tuesday. Today’s installment is all about color. Color is a electromagnetic phenomena that is absolutely fascinating. People have an emotional reaction to color. People like colors and they hate colors, sometimes for no reason whatsoever other than it feels like they should like or hate a particular hue.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, ACW, Belsum, Peefer, and Bomber.

On to the questions:

1. What is the best color for a toasted marshmallow?
The marshmallow needs to be overall a white color with the edges golden and just the hint of browning on the edges… mmmmmm….

2. Cage match: Bluish green vs. Greenish blue. Who reigns supreme?
Greenish blue.

3. Why is it a good thing for someone's True Colors to shine through?
‘Cause Cyndi Lauper says so?

4. What is your favorite color scheme for a map?
I am really happy with this one,
but as far as favorites go, I don’t really have one. Different color schemes work for different maps for different reasons.

5. Does Little Man have a favorite color?
Not that we know of. So far we have not seen a color that says “train” to him.

6. Really, what is mauve?
It is defined as “a pale bluish purple,” but the results you get with a Google image search vary greatly.

7. I heard that the human eye can differentiate more variations of green than any other color. Is this true?
I have heard that as well. It harkens back to our primal days when we were prey.

8. Ladies wear red to excite and attract the males - to bring notice to themselves in other words. Is this much different than in the animal kingdom where red is used to denote "danger", "I'm poisonous" and "stay away"?
No different at all.

9. Given that certain colors promote increased productivity at work, what colors would you change in your office?
Well, I think I would promote a cool color scheme with sea blues and the like. The drab gray that I am surrounded by right now is conducive to naps, not working.

10. Western society uses black for mourning and white for weddings. Eastern, particularly Indian, uses white for mourning and red for weddings. What other colors make sense to your own internal logic?
Blue = cold
Red = hot

11. Why is purple the color of royalty?
The expense of making it in the middle ages. Red is the color of royalty elsewhere for the same reasons.

12. How many times has your favorite color changed over the years? What was it when you were a kid?
3 colors, it started as a sunny yellow, migrated to an electric blue and has settled into the sage green family.

13. “Red” is often a nickname. Are there any other colors that would make a cool nickname?
Blue or Grey can work, but I am not sure how one would get that nickname.

14. Rainbow suspenders: fess up, did you have them? Did you covet them?
I did not have them, and I did not want them. I had rainbow tabs on my shoulders for one shirt. That’s how I got my “rainbow” on.

15. What is your skin colour in values of 8-bit (0-255) R:G:B ?
R: 200
G: 142
B: 124
Whities are surprisingly darker than they think. I sure was surprised.

16. If you could see the world in only two tones (e.g. black-and-white or shades of sepia
etc.) what two tones would they be?
I would go with sepia. It is just softer on the eyes.

17. What are your preferred screen colours when reading text? Please comment on your blog's adherence to this palette.
As far as screen color go I like dark text on a light background. My favorite would be that light green color that is similar to most accounting ledgers with a deep charcoal for the text color. I am not far off with the white text on a black background. I need to update the template. I am waiting for some other things to fall into place before I make the commitment to change the blogarooney, I will probably try for that text color scheme though…

18. What terminology does your family use when referring to an African-American? For example:
"Hey! Who didn't put a new bottle on the water cooler?!"
"I think it was that new guy."
"Which new guy? They just hired three of them."
"You know, the ____."
This is an interesting question. I would probably say “the black guy.”

19. Do you think that one day all of humankind will be one color?
I think the extremes will start to get more and more muted and/or rare, but I am not sure that genetics would allow for a lack of variety.

20. A recent report by the Oxford Hair Foundation in the UK has caused shockwaves in the Netherlands: redheads, it says, are dying out, and could become extinct as soon as 2060. The two main factors involved in this demise are genetics and migration. The gene that gives rise to red hair - and often pale, freckled skin - is recessive, which means it is easily dominated by genes for other hair colours. So if, for example, you have a brown-haired mother and a red-haired father, you are most likely to have a brown-haired child. So, there's talk recently that within this century, redheads will no longer exist. Your thoughts?
Redheadedness will become rarer and rarer, but will never completely go away. It will be one of those traits that will skip 4 generations and then ‘poof’ red-headed kid. They will then be made emperor of the world.


To recap:
I now am only juggling 4 professional things
By end of business today I will be down to 3
At least, that is the plan
Little Man talks about trains in his sleep
He talks about them in his wakeful hours as well
I guess, the point is, he likes trains
We are going to walk to the tracks to watch one go by this evening after we get home
I owe him that from last night
I need to get cracking on that last bit for today

Pants

Start Meta-posting -->
I came up with a great idea for a post this weekend. It was super great really, but it involved me getting pictures of Little Man in some very specific legwear (not chaps you sickos, and not “not chaps” for you even more sickos). Alas and alack, the camera was uncharged and the laundry was undone, so the post- with real pictures- is not to be. So without further ado… the post that would have been better with a real pic, but I doctored some up to prove the point. <-- End Meta Posting

While looking through the laundry this weekend, or sorting it, if you will, I noticed that there are many similarities in our respective wardrobes. We have similar shorts. We have some similar shirts. He has waaay more dinosaur shirts than I do though. The thing that really was noticeable though was the preponderance of red pants that Little Man owns. He has at least 4 pairs of red pants. I have none. I am quite okay with not owning any red leg wear though because I realized something upon noticing this dearth of red pants in my wardrobe. Red pants are not acceptable leg attire for men. I am not sure where the age break is for the red pant rule, but there is clearly a red pant age rule.

On kids, red pants are cool. Some women can get away with wearing red pants. Men can’t. I can live with that. I prove my point below.

Cool: Look at how happy free and fun Little Man is in his stunning red pants. He is carefree and fancy free as he jogs on a friend's couch.

Uncool: I look like I am wearing parachute pants circa 1983. I would clearly be uncomfortable in this gawdy attire. My belly is all bloated circa 2006-2007 though. Get to the gym, Tubby!

To recap:
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about color
I have a presentation tomorrow
It is only half done
I really need to get moving on it
I have 2 active projects right now
I have a presentation tomorrow
I have an artistic cartography portfolio to get together
I have some other art I need to finalize
I have waaaaay too much on my plate right now
My days need to be 36 hours this week
They are still only 24 hours long
No matter how much I push and pull them
Most colored pants are taboo for men unless they are participating in a sporting event
Back to the grind

No red pants were harmed in the making of this post

K: 11 of 26

Ah, the 5 th installment of the Random Alphabet of SRH’s Blog is the 11 th letter of the English alphabet, K. K is one of those letters that harkens back to the proto-Phoenician alphabets. It is one of those letters in the west that has been part of our societies as long as there has been the idea of letters. So without further ado, I give you the Letter K.

K: Big K, Little k, Kitten. Kangaroo. Kick a kettle. Kite and a king’s kerchoo.

Oh, blessed K. I actually had to pick between 2 possibilities for K. At first I was thinking Kent State University because that was such a growing period of my life. I blossomed at Kent, well, err, ummm… as much as rugged manly men blossom, that is. My college experience was a really good experience. I absolutely loved it. I really became who I am today because of my growth as an individual in college. All of you can blame my time at Kent State for who I am.

But I chose another word that begins with the venerable K, actually a pair of words. A pair of words that helped define me as a person long before college started to mold and shape me. So for me, for now and for always, K stands for Krispy Kreme.

Oh, Krispy Kreme, how I love thee…

I have a special place in my heart reserved for doughnuts in general. Doughnuts are the perfect stand alone confectionary food. They are hand held, and easily portable. They have been deep fried (always a flavory bonus). There is typically a nice wide variety to choose from. They are, in essence, perfect. But even perfection has degrees. The highest of which, in doughnutdom is the pinnacle known as Krispy Kreme. For Krispy Kremes, or the Double K, are light and airy, yet sweet and flavorful.

I salivate at the thought of this sign. At it’s sight I have to use massive amounts of will power to stay away from the drive through.

Some people think that Double K’s are too sweet and that they shouldn’t be truly considered to be doughnuts because the meat of the doughnut itself is not cakey or a full blown yeast doughnut. Some people are idiots… plain and simple, idiots. They are simpletons and dullards, if you will. Simpletons and dullards.

I used to partake of the Double K more than people who worked there. Whilst I was in High School, my Boy Scout troop used Krispy Kreme as one of their fundraising schemes. It was REQUIRED that each boy sell 10 dozen doughnuts either every month or every other month. A door to door salesman I am not, so my family always ended up buying at least 8 of the 10 dozen. The fam would freeze 6 of the 8 to 10 dozen, and the other 2 to 4 dozen would be ravenously consumed within 48 hours of purchase. Those 6 dozen frozen delicacies would then be eaten as an afternoon snack until the next fundraising event. As and FYI: Double K’s heat up rather nicely in the microwave. The microwave brings them back to glisteningly wonderful life.

I will wrap up this Ode to Krispy Kreme with some random Double K facts about SRH.

The most Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts I have eaten in one continuous sitting is 24. Yep a full 2 dozen. The first 18 were easy, but the last 6 were purely consumed via will power. I was going to finish 2 dozen, Dammit!

Favorite Double K equals…I have two to choose from.

Firstly is their glazed. That is the everyday/every minute doughnut. When these are “Hot Now,” they are like eating flavored air. I can eat 8 without blinking. I have to conscientiously watch myself if someone has brought Double K’s for a meeting at work. By the time other people might have thought about picking up one, I could easily be on my fourth.

Secondly is there vanilla creme filled doughnut. This one is for special occasions, like when I want to enter into a sugar coma. Capt. McArmypants’s favorite doughnut from the Double K is the chocolate iced creme filled doughnut. Growing up, the Double K’s in ‘Bama would also run those bad boys through the waterfall of glaze. Oh, that’ll hurt the pancreas. Sugar shocked Ohio just puts on the chocolate icing ONLY ON THE TOP HALF OF THE DOUGHNUT!!! What is up with that?

Krispy Kreme doughnuts are made using milk and eggs. Little Man has not yet had the pleasure of partaking in the goodness that is Double K. I hope he grows out of those allergies, just so he and I can have some doughnuts together. Since the birth of Little Man and our recognition of his allergies, my Krispy Kreme consumption has curtailed severely.

I miss them, but I love Little Man more.

To recap:
Innovation requires buy in from people allowed to make decisions
I have too many irons in the fire right now
It takes asbestos gloves and a heat shield to get them out of the fire
I have neither of those 2 objects
I am only getting burned
Enough of this jibber jabber
I have work to get back to
Have a great weekend everyone

Helloo?

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Short post alert!
This post is a short one.
BEGINNING SHORT POST NOW
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This happens to me more often than one would think

Cell phone rings and Wifey’s cell number flashes across the screen.

Me: Hey, Babe.
Wifey: Oops, called the wrong number.
Me: Again?
Wifey: Yep, gotta go. I need to make a phone call.
Me: Okay… um… love you, bye.
Wifey: Love you too, gotta go!
*//click//*

Ummm…

To recap:
I will do something about some letter tomorrow
Really, at least once a week I get the “whoops” call
Sometimes more
Not sure what we are having for dinner tonight
Probably leftovers

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ENDING SHORT POST NOW
Thank you for reading this Short Post
We will bring you back to normal length posting tomorrow.
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20 Questions Tuesday: 37- More Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties

Here it is the continuation of last week’s mega-hit topic: 20 Questions Tuesday: 36 - Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties. I like to call it 20 Questions Tuesday 37 – More Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties. I have a way with words, I know.

Thanks this week go to The Em, JW, Allrileyedup, Atmikha, and Dustin. Honestly folks, I really do owe you for helping me to write 4 times a week. Apologies to Riley and Dustin, whose G-mail emails didn’t make it through for other Tuesdays. Clearly the IT group at my company figured out what was going on and remedied the issue. A hearty thanks to all of you questioners, really, without you guys, there would be a whole lot more posts that were me rambling on about nothing.

On to the questions:

1. What are your thoughts on the Loch Ness Monster? Do you think it exists?
I love the idea of cryptozoologicals and I think that some of them actually do exist. That being said, Loch Ness is not a hospitable place for a large creature. There just is not enough nutrients in the body of water to sustain a large bodied creature and have it not seen more often and properly documented. If it is a carnivore, the fish population is not large enough in the loch to maintain a sustainable population of the creatures (unless one assumes that Nessie is a singular creature that can live forever). If it is a herbivore, the creature would have to forage closer to the shores and therefore be more susceptible to capture due to the lack of flora in the depths of the loch. Alas and alack, I do not think that Nessie is one of the cryptids that exists.

2. If you could be half man/half horse, would you want to be?
Some have already called me a horse’s ass. Does that count? The real answer is and unequivocal, “Hell No!” Wifey don’t like horses and that just wouldn’t work for me.

3. What was the purpose of the Golden Fleece?

Myth: show wealth and power
Reality: There were some ancient cultures in what is now the former Soviet Republic of Georgia that used to do the equivalent of panning for gold with the fleece of a sheep. The gold flecks would settle into the deep wool of the fleece and give the fleece a shimmering golden hue. They did this to make money.

4. Which one strikes more fear in the hearts of men: Cyclops or Minotaur?

I think both would be rather scary beings to behold. Both were basically sequestered in rather remote areas. I would have to go with the Cyclops though, because he was able to roam free on an island, while the minotaur was cooped up in the labrynth.

5. Who was more annoying? Jar-jar Binks (Star Wars), or Falcor (Neverending story)?

Jar-Jar

6. Who would win a fight between Ookla (Thundarr theBarbarian) and Chewbacca (Star Wars)?
Hand to hand? Gonna have to go with Ooklah the Mok on this one. Remember in the opening credits Ooklah is swinging a helicopter around like it is a toy. Chewie ain’t got nothing on that.

From a distance? Chewie and his bowcaster ftw.

7. Is there a mythical creature that an OSU fan can blame for losing to Florida yet again? I believe I would have to go with Gator, and it is unfortunately not mythical for many a Central Ohioan.

8. What is the difference between fairies and faeries?
Spelling. Glibness aside, typically “fairies” are associated with kids’ stories. It is the common name of the “Fair Folk.” Usually when an author uses the “ae” spelling, they are making the group in question a bit more sinister be referring to them as the “Fae” or “Fey” or doomed. It is all about the slant an author is using.

9. Two part question: Part 1: Unicorns--real or not? Extinct? Do you remember the movie, The Last Unicorn? Part 2: Dragons--real or not? Extinct?Do you remember the movie, Flight of Dragons?
Part 1: I do not think that the magical unicorn exists. I do remember the horrid movie. Scarred me as a child, it did. Marred me for life.
Part 2: I think Dragons were more associated with meteorological and geological phenomena than real beasts. When I tornado struck a town in pre-medieval Europe, I am sure it was the work of a dragon. Etc… I do not recall that movie.

10. If there was a Mythical Creature Death Match, who would you like to see duke it out?
Tiamat and Marduk. They are pretty evenly matched.

11. If you were to design a T-shirt for a family reunion, and had to incorporate the ancestral herald of a cockatrice and the family motto "Je n'oublierai pas," What would it look like?
Well, it would have a cocatrice with a befuddled look on its face. A word balloon coming from it saying, “What was I supposed to remember?” and in Gothic block letters underneath would read "Je n'oublierai pas.”

12. If Brad Pitt was a good friend of yours, and you found out that Angelina Jolie is actually a kitsune, would you say anything?
Probably not. No need to incur the wrath of a trixter.

13. Say you somehow fell off of a boat, and Manu saved you from drowning. How would you repay him?
What could little old me give to the descendant of all India? He was already granted a wife, and he ain’t getting Wifey.

14. Evidently, more and more children in Japan are flying around the countryside in the Miyazaki Cat Bus after bedtime, or dangling from Totoros. Why do these forms of aviation have more appeal than, say, a flying carpet, or even just an airplane?
Because anything Hiyoa Miyazaki touches is inherently more whimsically magical than most travel concepts.

15. In the French fairy tale Peau d'Ane, a beautiful girl has to disguise herself as a dirty beast of burden. Pinocchio's friends at Pleasure Island inadvertently become trapped in the same condition by their regressive behavior. Why is it that boys have the power to change their predicaments, but girls always have to wait for True Love?
Because the myth and fairy tale is that for woman, love conquers all. They must be saved due to their inability to save themselves. For myths and legends in general, women and girls are the object of a quest, not the one questing. It is quite unfair, but that is why there is a such a strong young adult section in bookstores now that focuses on young women being the hero. I suggest pretty much anything by Tamora Pierce as an example.

16. Do table fairies really exist?
Nope, someone else ate the doughnut. Not a fairy, someone sitting at the table or in the building when you went to “freshen up.”

17. If said table fairies are real, should I feel wrong for killing them in droves when I was between the ages of 5 and 12 just to spite my grandmother?
You can rest assured, no table fairies were harmed during your pre-teen murderous rages. However, you are the reason there is such a low population of Lares and Penates.

18. What the hell kinda creature is Cupid?
Cupid is a god

19. Santa's elves: slaves or willing helpers?
Slaves. Turns out Santa is an ass

20. What's the difference between Orc, Goblin, and Troll?
Depends on the storyteller. You will have to be more specific in comments. Are we dealing with Middle Earth, are we looking at D&D, are we in Azeroth? You gotta give me more info.


To Recap:
Things are busying up at work currently
Alas, I do not see the trend continuing
Little Man has the memory of an elephant
My left shoulder is killing me
Which is odd since my right shoulder is the bad one
Stupid exercising
Wifey’s blogaversary was April the 5 th
I didn’t do anything for it
She is upset that I didn’t mention that we started dating 12 years ago on Saturday
Sorry, Happy Belated Blogaversary

Oh, and happy 12th Anniversary of our Going Out

Siddhartha Pentalagus Furnessi Gautama

I unfortunately am not that familiar with Eastern philosophies so please bear with my ignorance. I am aware that many systems of faith have a renewal ritual associated with them that takes place in the spring. It seems that the one that is most celebrated in the US, a decidedly western culture, is not the only renewal ritual that associates with a bunny.

Much to my mother-in-law’s chagrin, Little Man was adamant that he should not thank the “Easter Bunny” for his Easter basket. He should instead give his laud to the “Eastern Bunny.”
Yes, the “Eastern Bunny.”

The Zen Lapin hid eggs filled with serenity and then hopped down the eight fold path to nirvana.

Thanks Eastern Bunny, Bock! Bock!

To recap:
The Eastern Bunny bestowed gifts of non-extremes to Little Man
Little Man liked them… but not too much
He left Little Man a train Now that train is constantly by is side
Constantly
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions is the continuation of last weeks
It will be an extravaganza of questionessihood

F: 6 of 26

Today I asked Wifey to give me the random letter to use for the fourth installment of the Randomized Alphabet of SRH. She gave me the sixth letter of the English alphabet, F. Honestly, other than the kick off of A, she has supplied me with the randomness that is the Non-linear Alphabetic posts of SRH.

F: Big F, little f, F...f...F Four fluffy feathers on a Fiffer-feffer-feff.

The letter F is a tough one. But it thinking on it has caused me to alter the idea of my Randomly Assigned Alphabet of SRH to the Alphabetic Haphazard Jumble of SRH’s Blog. Therefore, F is for Headaches as shown through Fluffy, the pine marten in my skull.
Hello Fluffy!

Usually I only flash up Fluffy’s picture when I am experiencing severe head pain. Oddly, that is not today. I am a bit surprised that I don’t have a blinding headache at the moment since there was such a significant weather shift in the past 2 days. That usually triggers the old noggin pain.

Headaches have been a part of my life for a long long time. On the under 12 soccer team for which I played, my nickname was “headache.” I can only assume it was because I missed a number of practices due to cranial acheage. Surely, it wasn’t because I was a pain in the coach’s ass. No, that couldn’t be it at all, definitely the missed practices due to nonspecific head pain.

As it is, I have started seeing the warning signs of my migraine headaches much earlier. So luckily, I have been able to mitigate them before they become full blown immobilizing headaches of doom. I cannot say that I get migraines often, but I definitely get them more than rarely. Therefore most of the headaches I suffer from are not migrainal, just average everyday run of the mill headaches. Most of the non-migraintorial headaches tend to be sinus headaches. Fluffy, the pine marten in my skull, is usually associated with the sinus pressure in my cranial area wanting to escape but having no where to go. It is much like an unfortunate woodland creature clawing its way out of a tiny enclosure.

Fluffy has transcended from being a one time throw-away image illustrating the pain in my head, to being an on-going theme of the blog with it’s own label.

To recap:
F is for Headache
Deal with it
Little Man got $5 in an Easter card yesterday
He immediately used the card as a tunnel on his train table
And decided that he was going to use the $5 at “the train show”
I believe he spent his $5 at a local train store today for a Sante Fe hopper carI think Wifey had to chip in
Then she bought a swing set for him
I need to disassemble said swing set
And then assemble it again
Not looking forward to that
Little Man ate a boat load of ravioli last night
"A boat load," I say, "A boat load."
Have a great weekend everyone

Attention

Ever have one of those days where you just are not able to focus on anything for even the remotest amount of time? The days when your attention scampers away like a wild rabbit hopped up on goofballs. You know, the days where you find yourself staring for long minutes at the industrial “fabric” that makes up cube walls. The days where merely focusing on the job at hand takes monumental effort.

I tend to call them weekdays.

I am currently in the middle of a week chalk full of weekdays. Yes, yes, I know that weeks are by definition full of weekdays, but I don’t want to hear your semantic arguments. I wouldn’t be able to listen to them for long anyway. I mentioned how distractible I am at the moment, right? Yep, the attention does not have so much of a span today. I am not sure as to why my meager at best abilities to keep on task have decided to call in sick for the week, but that they clearly have vacated the premises is not in dispute. They have left and not given a forwarding address.

I don’t even have the focusing energy to push through a losing game of spider solitaire. That is saying something and that something is not positive. In fact, one would have to categorize that “something” as decidedly negative. Well, at least it would be negative for me, and, really, for this blog’s purpose, that is what really matters.

While getting things ready for various projects I have found my mind wandering un-tethered willy-nilly. This un-tethered willy-nilly random wandering has led me to my oft-too-often used literary crutch of over-hyphenating. Luckily it has not caused me to rely on my other crutch of adding un-necessary and superfluously-redundant suffixes to already suffixed words. My favorite of the spurious suffixes is “-ish.” How could one not like to add “-ish?” It implies a certain level of ambiguity to anything, and in my line of work (covering my ass) ambiguity saves.

But I digress, the point of this post is to illustrate how illusory my attention is currently. Why just a second ago you were reading about my “literary” crutches, but we all know that I am not literal. Again, here we are in a semantic conundrum. The circle is now complete. When I met you, I was but the learner. Now, I am the master… Wait, that is a completely different completed circle.

Authors Note: What I have discovered whilst writing this post is that it becomes increasingly more difficult to describe a lack of ability without becoming repetitive with phrasing. Sure the subject matter is merely a rehashing of the same idea, but it is more and more difficult to walk the fine line of being whimsically redundant without being blatantly repetitive.

To recap:
Tomorrow I will add to the ever more Random Alphabet of SRH
I am sure it will be very educational for all involved
Dinner was really nice last night
Late, but nice
We have gone from a high of 80° F (26.67° C) to a high of almost 40° F (4.44° C) this afternoon
Ah, spring in Ohio
Yes, I realize I did not convert the temperature to Kelvin for the vast number of physicists who read this blog
I figured they could convert it themselves with their amazingly focusable minds
Little Man was not pleased to wear long pants this morning
“Where my shorts!” he was wont to ask repeatedly

20 Questions Tuesday: 36 - Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties

Ah, glorious Tuesdays, where my content is supplemented by others. Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is concerning Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties. Oddly enough, so will next week’s 20 Questions Tuesday. I put out the call for questions out yesterday to my typical intrepid questioneers and I have already received 38 questions, with only a few repeats. The repeat questions tend to be about cage matches between beasties or whether I believe the Loch Ness monster really exists (stay tuned).

Anyway, cryptozoological research has always interested me. Even as a child I had a kid’s library devoted to paranormal stuff. A book on the sasquatch, a book about UFO’s, a book about the Loch Ness Monster, etc… (oddly no book about the Yeti… hmmmm….) So this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

Thanks this week to Lord Pithy, Der Kieselbach, Lsig, and J.A.Coppinger.

On to the questions:

1. Is it just me, or do questions about paranormal animals naturally lend themselves to an R-, or even X-rated slant?
It is just you. It is only you, it will only be you. Please stop sending me emails about what you would like to “do” to Bigfoot.

2. If you were going to be abducted by one of the following, which would you choose, and why: Mothman, Bigfoot, Kenny Rogers.
Kenny Rogers, he makes some good chicken fingers.

3. Should Cryptozoology be offered as a legitimate major, complete with doctorates and stuff? (Yes, "stuff"!)
I think it should be classified as a minor. Biology should be the doctoral program or maybe veterinary science or zoology. I would be hard pressed to base a PhD program on information that is completely unsubstantiated and, by definition, improvable. Then again, one can get their doctorate in economics.

4. Nessie: surviving dinosaur, giant eel, mass hallucination, errant Macy's Day float?
Nessie sightings have been going on for far longer than Macy’s Department stores have existed, so it would be difficult to make the case that it is an errant float, unless, you take into account time travel and the paradoxes that ensue do to temporal distortion. All in all, I would have to go with, if Nessie does in fact exist, a plesiosaur.

5. Which paranormal creature would make the best pet? Why? And would you buy it at Petland or go to a breeder?
Blink Cat. Just like a regular cat except it can teleport short distances. I think I would have to go to a breeder.

6. Better flying animal: Pegasus, the Luck Dragon in Never-ending Story, or Donkey from Shrek?
Luck Dragon, his flight is powered by magic, not wings or extra pixy dust.

7. Since Cerberus has three heads, would they each fight over the same piece of food even though it goes to the same place?
Eating is not just about sustenance. All three of the heads want to enjoy the sensation of eating. That is what the fighting is all about, the thrill of consuming, not the satiation of hunger.

8. Who would win a starring contest: Medusa or a Basilisk?
Both would lose, but the pigeons would love the statuary.

9. Loch Ness real or mythical?
Loch Ness is a real place that exists in Scotland. Does it have a monster lurking in its murky depths? Different question entirely.

10. Why does it seem that most "mythological" creatures are spotted by the same people you see on the news describing what the tornado sounded like as it hit their trailer?
This is a bit of a mis-conception. Most people associated with sightings are either well educated people or local indigenous populations. Honestly, that is the only reason that these stories have been sustainable. If the only people who reported sightings and interactions were the un-educated and unintelligent, the stories would be summarily dismissed. The fact is that you have British Military sighting the Yeti in Nepal. It is only when you start to get into the lore and custom surrounding certain cryptids and mythologicals that you start to hear about “old wives’ tales” and other superstitious claptrap.

Plus, you know, tornadoes hitting trailers is really scary stuff. You might not be at your best if that just happened to you.

11. Describe, if you will, a hippogriff and where one finds such a beast.
Hippogriff: Head, chest, front legs and wings of an eagle with the rear half of a lion. You can find them in most Alliance cities, towns, and outposts and some neutral cities. There are some “wild” ones in the Hillsbrad area just to the northeast of Durnhold Keep.

12. Why do leprechauns leave their gold lying around, anyway? Carelessness? Lack of 401k plans? Why?
My bet is that it is complete overconfidence in their abilities.

13. Two enter, one leaves: who wins a basilisk vs. wendigo cage match?
I have to side with the basilisk on this one. The big “power” of a wendigo is to eat people. Seeing as how basilisks are not people…

14. How is the yeti, anyway?
I assume he is doing okay. I contacted him to ask questions for this set of 20 Questions Tuesday, but I have not heard back from him yet. My bet is that the satellite uplink for his internet connection is spotty from where he is in the Himalayas.

15. Are unicorns actually good for anything besides adorning the shiny stickers and Trapper Keepers of pre-adolescent girls?
Other than making sparkily glue? Nope. They are just window dressing for 12 year old girls.

16. Succubi – Let’s be serious, is there really a man on the planet who’d try to drive one off?
A good bit of men wouldn’t want to die while having sex with a demon. I, for one, am not interested in an anonymous romp with a supernatural demon who wants to claim my soul with her sexual death embrace. Nope, doesn’t sound like a good time to me. Plus I think you are forgetting that whole 9 to 12% of the male population that is not enticeable by demon boobies. It is offset by the 9 to 12% of the female population that is.

17. You get to be any mythological god/deity you want to be. Who do you choose?
Well, definitely not any of the Norse/Germanic deities. They all bite it in the end. Hmmmm… I am not sure what deity. Maybe you guys should suggest which one I would be best at. (Note: I exclude myself from being Ba’al, the pre-operative transgender god/dess, so you cannot suggest that as the deity of my choice. Lord Pithy, who oh so often comments as “anonymous,” I’m looking at you.)

18. Barring Yeti, who’s the coolest monster of all time?
Why the Vampire Bear, of course. The Vampire Bear is the definition of B.A.D.A.S.S.

19. Why does America have so few monsters? Cuz we’re young, or just lame?
America has a few monsters to deal with. The sasquatch and wendigo are purely native American in origin. There are a few sightings of lake monsters here and there as well. There is the Nain Rouge for Detroit, Michigan, the Jersey Devil, etc… We have our fair share, they just are not as well known as the big named ones.

20. Why are vampires afraid of garlic?
If I remember correctly, most pungent odors would really ward off a Vampire. Supposedly, they scent the exquisitely rusty aroma of a mortal’s life blood… the intoxicating allure of the tangy sickly sweet scent wafting from prey… ummm.. where was I? Oh, yes, vampires do not so much dislike the smell of garlic as much as the strength of the garlic smell over-rides their blood tracking abilities… or so I have read… yes… read.


To recap:
I have found that parenting via the Monty Python method is very effective
If anyone wants to be added to the usual weekly call for questions, please feel free to leave a comment with your email address
Just spell out the email address so the spambots don’t get you
For example gibber AT businessname Dot com
Don’t forget to tell me what god you see me as, since I could not answer Question 17
Trying some pouch cooking for dinner with the boy
A little potatoes, a little beef, some vegetables
Ought to be really nice
He liked the crunchy meatballs last night
Making a menu is a good thing
I ran myself into the ground last night on the elliptical
I am paying for it today
Stupid elliptical!

nothing to show for it

This weekend was one of those quietly intense weekends of asthma fun.

Okay, I feel it is necessary to explain more fully. It is a blog, that is what I do, so let me ‘splain. During the days Little Man’s breathing was fine. It was not great by any means. He could not compete in balloon blowing up contests or toy sail boat races, but short burst of manic behavior on a slide seemed to only add a little bit of breathing hardship. In fact it was typically mild enough, that if we slowed down the running with some animal crackers his breathing calmed right down as well.

The issue is that at night he needed 3 breathing treatments a night to sleep. This led to Mama (The lovely Wifey) and Papa (me) not getting good sleep due to the multiple interruptions. This leads me to conclude one of a couple of different things.

1. Little Man does not like us and wishes us ill and fulfills those wishes via no sleep. There is merit to this one.

2. There is something in the evening air that causes Little Man to breathe poorly. I shall call it “the dreaded vapors.”

Or 3. There is a fey that is sitting on his chest and sucking the air out of his lungs unbeknownst to us and we are lacking a certain feline houseguest to scare it aware from our darling boy.

Maybe it is a combination of the 3, I don’t know. Anyway, it boils down to Wifey and I being tired with nary a sick looking child to show for it.

To recap:
Lunch sucked today
It does not bode well for tomorrow either
And I live for lunch
It was my “letter L” word and everything
I am hungry
But I have to workout before I go home to eat
That does not bode well either
I am drinking lots of water in preparation for my stunning ability to sweat while going nowhere
Stunning really, quite stunning
I wish I liked running, because it is beautiful out there today
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday is all about the cryptozoologicals, paranormal animals, and mythological beasties